When a BS destroys your opener.



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:58 am 
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A few weeks ago I was at a bar and was trying to pick up girls. I actually hadn't really gotten back on track with my game yet but I luckily used a line that turned my completely shit opener into solid gold learning experience.

138: (insert any horrible shit here because I can't remember what the hell stupid ass shit I said)

Horrible Bitch: Why are you even talking to me?

138: I am sorry. I thought you were someone else.

(I said this in such a was that expressed how disappointed I was in what a total bitch she was and maintained a creepy level of eye contact. Like I was looking into her soul and disgusted with what I saw there. It took about .5 seconds but it was hilarious to see the look of recognition in her eye when she realized the double meaning; I hadn't mistaken her for someone else but had mistaken her for someone worth a damn. I think my body language and timing were perfect because I maintained eye contact as I turned around and walked away, but more importantly so did she. It was like we were connected by a string and I swear I heard it snap when I left.)

Anyhow this other girl overheard and saw the whole thing and struck up a conversation about what a bitch the other girl was. Unfortunately I didn't have much interest in the nice girl who I talked to.

I think what is important here is that you have a powerful tool to use when you get shot down. No need for fear of rejection if you know you are going to walk away looking awesome and the rejector will be the one looking like an ass.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 6:59 am 
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Even you said your opener was stupid. Is it possible she wasn't being a bitch and just thought you were crazy or wanted you to be direct? What would have happened if you answered, "Well, you're pretty so I thought I'd talk to you so we'd both be entertained". You know the only way to avoid rejection is not to even try, right? Rejection sucks, it is going to happen and it stings no matter how many times you get it. You just have to take your licks, it's unavoidable.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 2:40 pm 
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Well, you're pretty so I thought I'd talk to you so we'd both be entertained
About a million times better than the OP's reactive bullshit.

If a girl says "go away" "I have to go sorry" "fuck off" or something like that with a really serious face and is not smiling or blushing at all, then you're probably not getting anywhere.

ANYTHING ELSE is an opportunity to keep the interaction going and see what happens. She might not be interested, but she might just be throwing out a test. Or, she might momentarily be in a bad mood and need some cheering up. She might even be so intimidated by your good looks or strong body language that she'll assume she can't possibly be your type and so she'd rather try and kill the interaction than risk being rejected by you (the girl version of a guy saying a HB10 looks "fake" and "bitchy" as an excuse to not approach because he's sure he'll get blown out).

Rather than looking at her coldly (i.e. judging her based on ONE SENTENCE she said to you) you could instead smile and say something that is fun, honest and appealing, and see if she warms to you. If not, you can leave the interaction at least knowing that you were the one being completely nice and social, and SHE was the one being rude.

For example

"Well I really love meeting new, interesting people, so I thought I'd say hi"

"I wanted to come see if you're fun"

"I saw you from over there and think you're absolutely stunning, so I had to come over and find out more about you"

Any girl who reacts negatively to these (said with a smile) definitely IS in a bad mood or is REALLY not interested or is just a really bitchy person.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a pretty cute girl waiting outside Topshop looking REALLY pissed off and depressed. Terrible set to open right? Well, I opened with a smile and just asked her what was up and why she was frowning. Turns out she'd literally JUST broken up with her BF 15 minutes before! I chatted to her and my wing came and we joked around and picked her up and tickled her and stuff and by the end of 5/10 minutes she honestly THANKED us for brightening up her day and making her feel better. Now, if I'm going to leave a set with a girl who was initially in a bad mood, I'd prefer to do it THAT way, rather than look at her coldly and judge her. Wouldn't you?

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 Post subject: I feel ya
PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:18 pm 
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I definitely feel where you guys are coming from. I appreciate your input. Let me ask something though, what is the situation going to be like when I run into her again? She goes to the same bars that I go to fairly often. I think if I choose to approach her again it will be cake.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 10:06 pm 
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Yeah, I have to wonder sometimes why it's so important for PUA's to be indirect, why giving a girl value by saying she's pretty and the way she's dressed caught your attention is suicide. If you're a high quality male, elevating a girl shouldn't put her out of your league. Being able to afford to give someone power in an interaction makes you powerful, not hoarding it all and having to neg a girl or MAKE HER SCARED FOR HER SAFETY to take her down a notch. If you run into her again, I'm guessing she will be scared for her life and not talk to you. That's just based on how I read the encounter.

Yes, these girls get told they're pretty all the time, but how often do you think a guy just walks up and is totally honest with why he walked up? Usually that's enough to disarm a girl, it's the times I tried being playful and indirect that girls have BLASTED me.

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 Post subject: power
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 1:13 am 
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Hmmm... well I am sincerely a very nice guy. I don't feel that I made her fear for her safety. If you can see it being read that way then I suppose she could have felt that way also. I think I will definitely field test the outcome of this interaction and post it up here.
My impression is that she was stunned by the truthfulness of the interaction. I hit her with a healthy dose of reality. I think what she wanted was for me to do what you guys suggested but what she NEEDED what exactly what happened. I WANT a Ferrari but I am not going to fork out the cash. I NEED health insurance so I pay for it. Which has more value?
In my experience a ballsy and confident girl will only be impressed by someone more ballsy and more confident. She needs someone that is her superior and is probably sick of all the pussies that she has been dating. Once she has had a chance to sit in time out and think about how she treated me I am sure she will be more than happy to kiss and make up. This could of course be completely wrong. When I run into her again I will see what the outcome is.
So for the sake of experimentation I want to ask you.
How do think I should approach her?
Apologetic? "I am sorry about the other night. The fact is I was having a bad day and I reacted poorly."
Playfully? "Hey is it safe to come over there this time?"
Semi-cruel? "Hey I remember you! You are the pretty girl with the shitty attitude." ?
Understanding? "Look, I figure you must have been having a hard day or had one too many guys hitting on you the other night. No hard feelings?"

Any other ideas?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:19 am 
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Basically, you "mad dogged" the girl. Direct unwavering eye contact is an intimidation tactic. Seeing as you say it was a "creepy level of eye contact", I'm guessing you had a pissed off/disgusted facial expression to boot. You can bet this girl will be harder for EVERYONE to open in the future now.


You think you gave this girl a spanking, and maybe that is how it happened, I have no way of knowing. If she'll talk to you, feel out her mood instantly and react. If she's scared, apologize, if she's humbled, work her over. You made her uncomfortable enough to walk away, so I'm guessing she's not going to be in a grovelling mood, but follow up just for science sake.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:46 am 
Quote:
Quote:
Well, you're pretty so I thought I'd talk to you so we'd both be entertained
About a million times better than the OP's reactive bullshit.

If a girl says "go away" "I have to go sorry" "fuck off" or something like that with a really serious face and is not smiling or blushing at all, then you're probably not getting anywhere.

ANYTHING ELSE is an opportunity to keep the interaction going and see what happens. She might not be interested, but she might just be throwing out a test. Or, she might momentarily be in a bad mood and need some cheering up. She might even be so intimidated by your good looks or strong body language that she'll assume she can't possibly be your type and so she'd rather try and kill the interaction than risk being rejected by you (the girl version of a guy saying a HB10 looks "fake" and "bitchy" as an excuse to not approach because he's sure he'll get blown out).

Rather than looking at her coldly (i.e. judging her based on ONE SENTENCE she said to you) you could instead smile and say something that is fun, honest and appealing, and see if she warms to you. If not, you can leave the interaction at least knowing that you were the one being completely nice and social, and SHE was the one being rude.

For example

"Well I really love meeting new, interesting people, so I thought I'd say hi"

"I wanted to come see if you're fun"

"I saw you from over there and think you're absolutely stunning, so I had to come over and find out more about you"

Any girl who reacts negatively to these (said with a smile) definitely IS in a bad mood or is REALLY not interested or is just a really bitchy person.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a pretty cute girl waiting outside Topshop looking REALLY pissed off and depressed. Terrible set to open right? Well, I opened with a smile and just asked her what was up and why she was frowning. Turns out she'd literally JUST broken up with her BF 15 minutes before! I chatted to her and my wing came and we joked around and picked her up and tickled her and stuff and by the end of 5/10 minutes she honestly THANKED us for brightening up her day and making her feel better. Now, if I'm going to leave a set with a girl who was initially in a bad mood, I'd prefer to do it THAT way, rather than look at her coldly and judge her. Wouldn't you?
Awesome ideas! haha


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:12 am 
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If a girl asks me why I'm talking to her I tend to reply with 'Hey I'm a sociable guy, I just like meeting new people' as it DHV's you at the same time!


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 Post subject: Re: power
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:51 am 
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Quote:
"Hey is it safe to come over there this time?" SMILE ;-)

"No, but seriously, I figure you must have been having a hard day or had one too many guys hitting on you the other night."
Those two in that order are fine, with a smile, and then transition into a normal conversation.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 3:03 pm 
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That is a lot of words to remember. Are you comfortable talking to girls like they're regular people? If so, just wing it.

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 Post subject: well shit
PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 3:50 am 
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So I ran into the same girl and played it the way you wanted. Not word for word but, you know, the tone. Turns out she had just been dumped on her birthday. So I am a big enough man to admit when I am dead wrong. I had a conversation with her but to tell you the truth she was too damaged and I was too emotionally invested at that point to wanna push further; so really I don't know if I could dug out of that hole. Lesson learned. If someone is that much of a bitch then I need to assume that they are having a really horrible day/week/year/life. I can pretty easily be the best part. I let my ego throw off my game and poured salt in someones wounds. Not smooth and not cool. After talking to you guys and putting it to the test I would like to be the first person to slap myself.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:26 am 
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Wow.

Such an important lesson for everyone who's reading it. Glad you posted the story.

To be honest I never expected that outcome and it gives me more faith in humanity. Maybe the amount of solid bitches out there is 0.0001 percent, maybe when interactions go wrong and dudes trigger a BS by their flawed body language - maybe guys make too much of a big deal about being shot down, because it hurts so much, and maybe the reality is it doesn't really happen that often, and most times it's the guy's fault, which leaves very few times when it's not his fault, and even then we can still be the better man and avoid kicking someone when they're down.

I have read stories in the past about people turning really nasty people into nice people just by constantly treating them nicely and with respect, and eventually it wears off on them it seems.

So I guess the moral here is always be the better person. You CAN'T GO WRONG doing that.


And it's hard. You have to fight off a lot of insecurities and stuff has to wash over like nothing happened. Almost like being happy-drunk.


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 Post subject: Re: well shit
PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:45 am 
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Quote:
So I ran into the same girl and played it the way you wanted. Not word for word but, you know, the tone. Turns out she had just been dumped on her birthday. So I am a big enough man to admit when I am dead wrong. I had a conversation with her but to tell you the truth she was too damaged and I was too emotionally invested at that point to wanna push further; so really I don't know if I could dug out of that hole. Lesson learned. If someone is that much of a bitch then I need to assume that they are having a really horrible day/week/year/life. I can pretty easily be the best part. I let my ego throw off my game and poured salt in someones wounds. Not smooth and not cool. After talking to you guys and putting it to the test I would like to be the first person to slap myself.
Ego is a bitch. It makes me invest way too much effort trying to win over girls that are not worth my time just to prove something to myself. It takes a grown man to know when he's investing in shit and to just cut his loses, much respect.

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