Turned from great to awful. Need to get past this hurdle.



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:13 am 
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There's this girl i used to work with and at the end of the stretch of mine/her employment there we flirted alot but she had a long term boyfriend yada, yada. Through facebook and eventually texting we continued to talk for months on and off. She eventually lost the bf and suddenly/randomly during finals weekend last month things turned sexual with her texts. (I could compose a hardcore porn novel with her messages.) When it came down to hanging out or meeting she would dodge around and it and would say things like "it didnt seem like you were that interested when we worked together" (possibly her trying to me validate myself) i believed i responded appropiately and didnt chase/be needy. Just recently we talked again and the conversation was great. It wasn't sexual like before and instead more push/pull on a get to know you etc level. It eventually led to her proposing to take her out to eat. I accept and a few messages down the line when im trying to establish a date/time she wiggles around it and says "you wouldnt want to take me out anyways" to which i respond "why" and she mentions an ex girlfriend i had who has been talking to me alot on facebook. I tell her we broke up, still talk and she questions that further until i get to "i like to leave a girl better than i found her" to which she responds positively until this happens.

Mith: Thats my number 1 rule with girls. From an acquaintance to a girlfriend. Im not as big of an asshole as you think wittle hbbrunette8... hope your still attracted :)

HB: Im still attracted :) i know your not an ass but i think you might be an manwhore :)

Mith: Ugh i hate that i come off as that! Cause im not and i just give off that vibe i guess.

HB: Hypothetically speaking if i were with you id never trust you hahaha

Mith: Haha hypothetically speaking i wouldnt date a girl if there was no trust! duh

HB: Hypothetically speaking we wouldnt be going to a steakhouse if there was no future :)

Mith: Hypothetically speaking i wouldnt be taking you to a steakhouse if there was no future :)

*THIS IS THE PART WHERE THINGS GO BAD*

HB: Ha guess were not going then! bye

*I interpret this as sarcastic push/pull humor and respond*

Mith: Ha ok ill pick you up!

HB: No

*I interpret this as more push/pull from her* so respond in the same way but hoping she interprets it as sarcasting which based on previous messages with her i know she should.*

Mith: Fineeeeee! bye

HB: Bye

*Ok, i now think shes being serious or still joking so text back one more bye hoping she'll realize the fear of losing the convo and act on it or atleast realize i myself am kidding and not mad. So i send one more response

Mith: Bye

No reply and the next day (today) i text her "hey meanie" with no response. What happened?! Did she interpret my hypothetically speaking text wrong as i dont think there's future and thats why IM not taking you out? Also last night during this text string i disabled my facebook wall to everyone but myself. I check her facebook just now and she removed me as a friend. Did she think i did the same to her when she went to see my profile and only saw the semblance of a profile thats someone your not friends with since i disabled my wall and viewable pictures.

How do i fix things? I was thinking of just straight forwardly asking if i said something wrong and why were not facebook friends? Would that project a bad frame? Should i just let it rest and continue on as if nothing happened. More importantly, how do i get over the hurdle of when it coming down to set up a definitive date/time for a meetup that for this girl (and future girls) she avoids and changes the topic when seemingly it seems like its a for sure thing a date is gonna happen?! I want to get over this hurdle.... HELP ME OUT GUYS!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 4:23 am 
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The thing with this girl is she never answers a call from me or refuses to call me. Ive called her before while texting and she'll wait and listen to the voicemail. Then text back.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 4:38 am 
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ok right b4 things started going south, with all the hypotheticals, it appears that she started taking them seriously. It appeared to her that you were DLV to her by the way you seemed overly defensive by what she was saying. Like when you were called a "Manwhore" while you took it as a joke as it escalated to her not wanting to go with you, she took it as you got offended bc it was true.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 5:23 am 
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Da Veed, thanks man and yeah she is just another prospect but one ive been working on for awhile and just wanna seal the deal with her. Im not needy/pester i just did a follow up message to hopefully cont talking and pick things up from yesterday. That was before i saw she removed me as a friend. Ill call her leave her a voicemail and leave it at that!

Ccarmicheal, your saying that i demonstrated lower value with my response. What would have been appropiate to being called a manwhore? How could it escalate from her saying she'd only go on a date with me if there was a potential future to no were not going delete you as a friend. DLV? If so all that cant possibly be attributed to it. Im still trying to pinpoint what happened here and while i do admit it could be DLV another makes it seem like i offended her in some way or she interpreted something wrong. Like maybe she misread my message as there is no future i want ass? Cause to remove me and go from :) to no response in less than 10 texts has to have some sort of good reason. What do i do now?

Thanks for all your help guys. Any other opinions are welcome.


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