CLIFF NOTES: realize I'm unattractive through life experience; then list adjustments I've made because of it.


I’m 28, and I’ve basically had to realize that I’m not that attractive of a person. I stand less than 5’9, but I have a slim build but I work out. I don’t have a classically attractive face, although sometimes it can look ok when I’m smiling. I’m the son of two immigrant parents, and the nationality I am is not at the bottom of status in Canada, but it is more of a lower status on. I’ve got the kind of looks where I can win someone over who’s attractive if:
-I get immediate credibility with a good word or intro from a credible source
-there isn’t much competition around competing for a target
-she takes the time to get to know who I am

Realizing that you’re unattractive can be a difficult thing to deal with. Society blasts so many sexual images at us (Maxim, Girls Gone Wild, Victoria Secret, MTV, Beauty and the Geek) and it makes you want to get up and go out and pound some Lindsay Lohanesque piece of ass. Then reality sets in and you remember that your just one of those guys who doesn’t have the looks or the Alpha-maleness to pull it off.

As the years have gone by, I’ve been more reminded of my place in the game of attraction, but it still hurts my feelings sometimes to be reminded. It sucks going out to the bars, and being too timid to approach women. Then the few you actually do get the nerve to approach – nothing happens. No signs of eye contact or interest from slutty or horny women. I’m just not that guy who visually stands out in an appearance based setting.

Rather than continue to feel sorry for myself, I’ve used my experience and knowledge to adjust for my lack of looks. I’m gonna share what changes I make, but feel free to comment or add to them.

Avoid situations where looks are empasized:
-I will limit my time in nightclub to only birthday or stag celebrations. The more time I spend in clubs, the more I’m reminded that I just wasn’t blessed with the strong genetics that women are searching. Online dating is especially based on your picture and looks. If trying to meet girls, I’d prefer to meet through friends of friends, where they can get to know me through my personality, rather than judge me on my looks.

-Take part in activities where looks aren’t emphasized. I play sports, watch movies, play video games and play poker. These games, you can take more value in your skill and just enjoy the activity, rather than be reminded that you’ll never be Brad Pitt. Endorphins from exercise are a great way to make you feel good.

-Avoid hanging out with pretty boy friends. The pretty boys will just take any focus women have away from you. I also have one friend who has to let me know of every situation where women are completely throwing themselves at him for immediate sexual gratification. He’s a good guy, but brags a bit too much. It just sucks to hear how easy it is for him, while I’m high and dry.

-Take the time that I’d use trying to pick up girl to focus on strengthening other areas of my life that will make me more attractive. I’m talking mainly about your career. Chicks love money. It is definitely a huge attraction point along with looks, height, muscles, personality, and status. Take the time to do better in those classes, or perform better on the job so I can get ahead and make up for my lack of being a pretty boy. Also, instead of focusing on going to clubs all the time, you can focus on hobbies and gain more skill at them. Examples would be golf, poker, bowling, video games, kickboxing, etc.

-Adjusting where money is spent. Rather than spending money on going out to the bar all the time, focus on saving up for a condo. Chicks are also turned on by a guy who has his life together. I’m gonna focus on being more achieving/responsible with my life, than being that crazy party boy. The party boy role works, but you have to have the looks/personality/expendable bank roll to pull it off.

do you think neill strauss is attractive? No hes the least attractive you can probably get and look at him.

Great tips I feel your pain, although I havent developed a sense of how attractive I am but I know it is either average or border line average, and for this I have at times miscalibrated when around a chick that actually would find me attractive, but I still am timid like yourself but am growing slowly.

Average Joe: Nobody's ugly! No matter what you look like, you can change the preception of people toward you. Confidence building is easy for everyone, you just have to stan up and say "fuck it" i'm tired of thinking i'm ugly!

Another way is really sexiest, but i've known guys to do it. Go out with someone of a lesser value than your looing for. you want a 9, get a 4. this will give you confidence, but in reality your just using her. I don't suggest it but it helps build your confidence. You ever notice when you are dating someone it alays appears all these women are suddenly attracted to you. right? It's because your confidence is high, you don't care what others think because you got a girl and your taken, it's a challenge, and comfort builder!

take a look at one of my previous posting, it works good.

extremely-important-vt8613.html

Doc is exactly right.

getting women is all about attitude. My best friend who is beter with girls than anyone i kno is ugly. he not very tall and big nose stickin out ears, hairy fucker. But he dosent give a fuck. hes a cocky fucker and gets any girl he wants. I am good looking and tall ive been told this i ussually get 8-9 out of ten but he at least doubles his sucess with women over me its about attitde and how u portray yourself.




For beingbetter looking take care of your hygene is the most important part

I know some ugly dudes who walk around with Model quality Women
on their arms. You've got to get your self-esteem together looks aren't everything. Its all about the way u carry yourself as a man. Stop focusing on things u can't fix.

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So u think you can handle this?

well since im good looking i dont have to worry about most of what you said, but that doesnt mean i still dont have to work just as hard in the other areas of my life

im only 5'8", 155 lbs, but i've played sports my entire life and it has payed off like crazy

not trying to brag, but i have 8-pack abs, toned muscles for my size, and good social skills

but we are all here to improve and i've done so much since i've came to this site

_________________
I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.

***YAWN***Who are u trying to impress??!!

_________________
So u think you can handle this?

not you, not the thread starter, not anyone because we are all just people behind a computer screen, but tell me the difference of him pointing out his flaws and me pointing out my strengths

if i were trying to impress someone i would take a picture of myself half naked and put it online, maybe something like you have done

_________________
I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.

Ye but what if I am attractive o0

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"If you cant attract a women you are , by definition , a sterille"
-mystery.

I totally understand what your feeling.

I feld like this a few years ago. I can tell you from experience, it doesnt f*ckin matter how you look.

I'm working on this matter for a few years and i managed to get very very attractive girls. I did it by trying en trying. The thing which helped me most is talking to everybody you see and ignore the fact that there may be guys out there which are better looking. What makes them better than you????


Greetz
shorteez

Avg Joe, your first mistake is going into a social situation thinkin your unattractive from the get go. When you evolve into the right mindset that a PUA should have you won't think in your mind "I'm ugly, but looks don't matter", you'll actually be thinking "I look good as hell and the bitches know it". You just have to get a little field experience and build some confidence, I'll give you my own situation.

I'm 5'9" and 220 lbs and I honestly would rate my looks at a 6.5 to 7. But guess what, girls flirt with me almost every time I go out simply because I'm smiling and i act friendly and joke around alot. And even without talking much I've gotten women to dance with me as well just by going up on the dance floor with a wing and demonstrating an air of confidence. Originally I would say dressing up is key, but i've even acheived positive responses just chilling at bar in a t-shirt and jeans so even clothing's not completely important. Just go out with some friends and give opening a trying, b/c you'll be amazed at what confidence it builds when you realize women will actually flirt back with you.

Avg Joe, you shouldnt even be thinking like that! Seriously ditch that attitude!

You ever been out with your friends at the mall or some other high traffic area and seen that smoking hot chick with some hideiously ugly dude? you know why hes with her?

Because he didnt give a shit about what number society placed on his looks. He prob isnt even that rich or well to do.

He is with her because he grew a set, walked over to her, and said the things no other dude in that club/bar/place said to her the night he picked her up.

I consider myself fairly good looking, but you know what? (not to sound gay) ALL of my buddies ARE better looking then me, one is a NATURAL...and you know what? it doesnt matter.

Last night i went to AC and completely froze on aproaches, but i got opened 3 times, by attractive women, simply because i looked the best dressed, most well groomed, and most confident out of all my friends...All of my other friends had 0 girls come up to them and went upto 0 girls.

All my friends are better looking, make more money than me by a long shot, have a more successful history with women than I...and in the end it all means nothing because if you appear confident, if you apear to be well dressed and groomed, and can come accross alpha....you win!

so ditch the "i feel ugly" thing, build up some confidence (outside of your comfort zone), and make yourself beleive you ARE THE PRIZE!

GL dude

you are in the right section. you got a mirror? use it... whether or not you know it you probably use a lot of different facial expressions that come natural. see what you like what you dont, and figure out what works. i was a fat bot, but i dropped the weight and now have an athletic build, but i was indenial, its good you realize it.