I need help with my POF profile!



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:04 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:17 pm
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I need help with my profile. Critiquing and suggestions for improving my profile would be much appreciated. This is what my profile contains so far.

Headline: Fun! Fun! Fun! (Did I mention fun?)

Description: As a person I like to think of myself as confident but not an ass. I'm a very humble man. I understand that there's a time to give and be loving and understanding. I also believe in standing up for what I believe and not being walked on. I'm always there for my friends and loved ones. I don't run from adversity. I care what people think of me because I believe in being the best man I can be. I want people who come across me to think "hey what a cool guy". It's not about attention for me. It's about the importance of ones own honor and respect for those around him. 

Goals: Persuing a career in the music & television industry, both as a DJ, music producer, and soundtrack composer. I have my music publishing with SESAC called, "Blended Sounds Music." I really want to find a woman to love and share in the beauty that is life. I also want to continue to help those around me I care for to achieve their goals. 

Music: I'm a huge underground hip hop fan and very passionate about it! I love turntablism which is basically the art of scratching. I appreciate world music as well. I like to keep and open mind when it comes to music. 

If you're interested, feel free to send me a message. Thanks for checking out my profile :-)

Interests: underground hip hop, turntablism, crate diggin, music sampling, PS3, dogs, parrots, baseball, basketball, boxing, DJ, football, hip hop concerts, gym, Golden State Warriors, hang out with friends, make hip hop music, mma, San Francisco 49ers, San Francisco Giants, ufc, watch movies, watch sports, walking, old school soul, old school funk, menrengue, salsa, latin jazz, old school jazz, old school hip hop, old school boleros, drawing, the great outdoors


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 4:00 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2008 10:21 pm
Posts: 280
in profiles what you think your saying isn't always how it's interpreted

a lot of your profile is like you're trying prove you're a decent guy. That's the effect from over-explaining yourself. There's a whole load of negative implications wrapped up in that. There's also a lot of contradiction in there. That's never good.

for instance "I like to think of myself as confident" contradicts itself.

"not being walked on. I'm always there" is semi-contradictory.

from "I care what people think" to the end of the paragraph is very weird. its all wrong psychologically, you shouldn't care what people think of you. you sound like you're needy for something, can't think of the right word.

"I want people who come across me to think "hey what a cool guy". It's not about attention for me" is contradictory.

your headline contradicts the rest of your profile.

the vibe you're presenting is all wrong. scrap most of that and try not to sound like you have major issues. some things you try and communicate are best avoided altogether. start from your headline and try to communicate the FUN things about you.


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