I was at a bar that featured dueling pianos in the upstairs portion of the building and a small nightclub in the downstairs portion. This girl was giving me IOI's out the you know what and I neglected to make a move. I froze up and after a while,\ I felt that It was a lost cause because I had already blown some opportunities and that it would make me seem weak if I had tried to talk or dance with her after so long because it would appear that I was trying to build up the courage. The problem that I was having was that my mind just wasn't into it. It was new years day and I was already exhausted from partying the previous night away.

So, what happened was me and my friend were standing near the bar about 4-5 feet away and this chick and her friend go to the bar and are now in between us and the bar. I was angled slightly away from them, but was watching with my peripheral vision. Her friend orders a drink and she turns right around and looks at me and I looked at her, she made eye contact, smiled, and then looked away. But she continued to face my direction and she's litterally 2 feet from me. I knew right there I shoulda said something, but I froze and didn't say a thing.

Well later on she walked by me slowly and looked up at me when she was passing by and made eye contact and smiled once again. Again, I froze and did nothing. We then headed downstairs to the night club and after about 5 mins her and her friends made their way in. I noticed her whispering into her friends ear, then grabbed her arm and tried pulling her, but her friend laughed and resisted. She then again said something to her and this time they both slowly moved near us and started dancing. I once again didn't make a move.

She and her friend moved around and about 2 or 3 more times danced near us. A couple of the times she moved, she walked right passed me, and basically brushed my arm. The thing is, her body language and actions were so aggressive, I just kept waiting for her to say something to me. And that's part of the reason I did nothing, because I assumed she would make a move.

Anyone have any advice for what I should've said or done with that first IOI?

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Tryna "Wife" Them Bad Girls

Wow man, talk about blowing yourself out.

You should have just introduced yourself. Give her a handshake, "my name is X". If that's too much for you a simple "would you guys stop following us?" would have done. They were baiting you hard.'

Don't wonder about what you'll do the next time it happens, because if it does happen it will catch you off guard again. If you are ever opened by a girl (which you were) then the open is OVER, IGNORE IT. You are now already into the conversation, ignore what she says, smile, offer your hand and introduce yourself. This rewards her for opening, shows you are interested (since she has already showed she is), and puts you back in control.

This happens quiet a bit to me, i don't have a problem with talking with them but instead i like to mess with them

What i'll do is when we make eye contact i'll wink and blow them a kiss without saying a word or anything else. They usually come and talk to me after or if it's on the dance floor i'll just put my hand out and they'll take it to dance.

Thanks for the advice guys. I just basically mind-F'ed myself that night. I got in my own dome and screwed up a great opportunity. Oh well, you live and you learn.

I did do a little thinking about the scenario and I came up with something I think might've been good with that initial first eye contact. I'm thinking that right after it happened, I could've taken a step closer to her, look down at her, and get within a foot or so and see what her reaction is. Like read her for a second and make a move. If she looks up at me, I'll just give a simple "Hey, whats up?". If she doesn't look up and sort of ignores me, I'll just play off like I was slowly walking by and keep on moving. What do you guys think about that?

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Tryna "Wife" Them Bad Girls

Dude I did the same exact thing many times...This shit aint easy....at all!

But I do have to say this is the internal dialogue I had whilst reading your little story:

'' OK HB-8...nice...uh huh....smiles.. oh no dude!....ok more....uh huh...oh jeez again?!?!....whispered.....oh FUCK! thats like three times I never get that many!!! uh huh..dancing.....wait.... again?!?!? ''......damn son....

*face palm*.

By the time she smiled at me twice I would have been over there talking...usually I ask the girls to dance with me and do the funny ballroom dance like spinning them around and then spin myself around...then pull them in closer... Or I just walk around and put out my hand and pull in random girls to say physically '' hey I wanna dance with you and Im a fun dude too.

mate i know how u feel, i did the same sorta thing last weekend...

like crawlin said this shit aint easy, if it was every man on the planet would be picking up whatever chick he wanted to..

I think the thing you need to do is not dwell on it, you know u stuffed up, you know u should have done something....

there are way too many other oppurtuniies that will come in the future to worry about that one!

the boys below have given you some good advice on what to say...keep getting out there and practising!

Had a pretty good weekend. I went to the bar/club I usually go to on the weekends with the mindset of building social value and making myself approachable. One thing that I've been told by many girls is that they wouldn't feel comfortable approaching me. The reasons they give are that I'm intimidating, I look like an A-hole, a player, douchebag, etc... And it doesn't help that I'm 6'4" 245, so I'm also pretty physically intimidating as well.

So my first step in making myself more approachable was to wear a collard shirt featuring a soft color like purple. I think that women can associate that color with someone who is nice, even though it may not be true.

The next step was to be as social as possible and waste no time doing it. As soon as I walked into the bar with my two buddies, within in a minute I was chatting with a group of dudes. I just asked them the scores of the football games and made other various small talk. I talked with all sorts of different people, guys and girls, all throughout the night.

The results were noticeable. I had girls coming up and talking to me all night. There was one girl who asked if I wanted to try her and her friends drink. They had this bucket with a mixed drink in it and 7 straws and they let me use one of the straws. This girl was probably about an HB7-8.

I also had a couple of girls when they would walk by, touch me on my hip or arm and give me a rub or a pinch. One girl who was kinda cute was with her BF and when I walked by she pinched my ass, that definitley caught me off guard. I turned around and looked her and she had a big smile on her face. And then on the dancefloor I had another girl smack my ass. Then I also had a couple girls come up to and tell me that I was cute and asked If I wanted to dance. I couldn't get over all the attention I recieved.

I could've ended up with about 8-10 numbers easily, but I was soon distracted by a girl, who I met at a bar a couple of weeks ago, that decided to meet up with me. I basically spent the rest of the dancing and making out with her. She's roughly an HB-7.5, so I really couldn't complain. I did score an HB-9's number and an HB-7's before she showed up. My buddy was talking to the HB-9 and she was wondering why I was occupied with the girl who showed up. She wasn't too happy about it, but it should work to my advantage in the future. It will create some competition and give me the appearance of something she is going to have to work for.

So to summarize the night, I had a lot of female attention and it most definitley had to do with social value. I was having fun and meeting lots of people, which built my social value and knocked down my sheild of being unapproachable.

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Tryna "Wife" Them Bad Girls