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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 6:26 pm 
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I am 19, I dated a girl for 2 years, first love, 5 months on after the break up, i can't even get over her, one bit. It's terrible and last night for the first time i saw her all over another guy hooking up. I can't get over it. If you don't know pain i tell you that was the worst i ever felt.

I use to be confident and cocky, but now im insecure as it gets. I wouldnt even date me. I use to be good at football, now ive lost it. Thats not the point, I want to do things, that I enjoy, make me better, take my mind of her, and improve my life. I am telling you now, i cant imagine myself ever getting better, and it kills to knwo that


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 01, 2011 2:50 am 
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Mate, just by you saying that you 'can't' get over her, you're setting yourself up for a fall. You're telling yourself that you 'can't' get over her, that you're 'insecure'. This isn't the right attitude. Don't think to yourself that just because you're not over her 5 months later that you're never gonna get over her.

2 years is a long time to spend with someone, and if I'm sure if I saw my ex get with another guy it would affect me.

The cure is an age old method that you will find written many times over in this forum, and I can speak from experience that it works - you need to get with other women, and then you'll realise that she wasn't one of a kind, and you can move on with your life.

~Deebo

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:57 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:51 pm
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Location: Portland, OR
I could write a book on this topic, but let me keep it simple. Both posters above me are right. Why is she responsible for your happiness? You need to take control of your own happiness and life. You also need to realize that you were never actually confident, cocky, etc. If you were, you would not be this upset by the breakup and what you saw your ex doing. She was just a bandaid that covered a temporary wound, and now it has been ripped off.

Use this to improve yourself, for yourself. And if you need more motivation than that, imagine seeing her again, and being this pathetic guy that is insecure crying over what she is doing with another guy, 5 months after you two broke up. NOW, imagine you see her again and you have a hot girl on your arm, you're in better shape, dressed better and more confident than ever. What one do you think will make her want you back? Hmm. But don't take her back, even if you have the chance (I know that sounds crazy since she is probably the only thing you are thinking about), but she has proven she is not worthy or loyal. She has moved on from you, and she would do it again.

When you think about her, focus on her flaws only for now(and don't say she doesn't have any, because she does, even if most of them involve her personality).

The most important thing is to keep busy, and find other women to hang out with. Stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and this girl whom you feel is so special, she's not. There are over 3 billion other females out there, go find a few.
Remember that love is a chemical in our brain, and just like any other drug, it can be overcome. But you have to take the steps to make this happen.

I know this sounds harsh, and it is. However, I have been in this EXACT same situation. I was even 19 when it happened. After a few years in the PUA community, and after improving my life greatly, I can safely say that everything I said here is true. One more thing, if you have any pictures of her around, put them up, destroy them, delete them, etc. If you have songs that you both loved, don't listen to them. I think you are starting to get the idea. Now go improve your life man! There are tons of hot women waiting out there, go get them!


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 7:43 pm 
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Location: Saint Petersburg FL
BigRyana is right on the money. Part of the challenge with moving on is clinging to the belief that you wont ever find anybody as good or as unique as her. This is total garbage. I felt like this for a while after my last breakup until i started going out and meeting new girls. Before i knew it i had met a ton of girls who were ALL really great in their own way. There are other girls out there that you will be able to connect with but you wont if you youre not even open to the idea.

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