Negging: Actual Value Vs. Perceived Value...



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:39 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:04 pm
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Hey guys,

So I got a thought for everyone regarding negging and how we go about using it. See, from everything that I have read so far, the gurus say you should neg more the hotter they are, so for 7s and 8s you should neg lightly, and 9s and 10s you should neg moderately, always remembering of course to keep a playful mood about you.

The issue I am having with this that this idea of negging is based on how we physically perceived the target, and not how to target perceived themselves.

An Example.

After work today I decided to drive over to my brother's house to get some much needed laundry done and didn't expect to get much practice in... My plan was to get the laundry done, kick back with my bro and his girl and then take off. Well his girlfriend had her friend over that I haven;t seen in a long time, so i decided it was a perfect oppurtunity to get some much needed practice in.

Now this girl is fine, easily an 8, so I proceeded accordingly...I came in, loaded up the washer, then came back upstairs and opened up the set..

I began with a story about what happened at work, then asked a question to get everyone involved...after that I looked over at her friend and negged her by making a comment about her hair. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, I did everything I knew to do, threw in some more negs, a couple DHVs anf more stories, and I thought I started seeing some IOIs (hair flipping, biting lip, etc. ). That wasn't actually the case...

It turned out that, while she pulled away my bro's girl, she said to her that I was being a dick and she didn't get why I would talk shit about her hair...

So I broke it down, I stayed playful, I made sure the neg was a backhanded compliment. I made sure I was in the right mind frame, and I made sure I wasn't being mean....

What could it have been? It got me thinking.

A lot of guys first look to PUA because there is something missing in their life. They feel insecure, obsolete, inadequate...whatever number or reason we do it, the point it WE as men have a preconceived notion of ourselves, and who we are as people...we either think we're not good enough, too good, too funny, too stale, not talkative, whatever...

What about women? What about how they feel about themselves? What if an HB7 thinks she's a 10? or visa versa?

Shouldn't negging be based on this as well, and should there be indicators to suggest how to woman perceives themselves? And don't tell me this is wrong, because I know each and every guy in here has, at some point, come across a girl who thought she was soooo fine, but was in reality a complete dog...it's not far fetched to assume that a really fine girl, might have been dealt some shitty cards in early life and now thinks that she's ugly, even though she's a knock out?


Let's get a discussion guys, I really want to break this down.


-Chef


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:19 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 7:58 am
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Have you read much material? I may be new but from everything I have read you are SUPPOSED to neg based on how the girl sees herself, as you are saying. Your interaction with her should be based on how she sees herself and what number she would give to herself, not the number you give her. So I don't understand this post, because as I said, from everything I have read you need to take into account her view of herself.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:40 am 
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Just keep gaming man. Sometimes coming off as a dick isn't a bad thing if their really insecure and can't joke back then why would you want to waste your time with her? You should tell her that she's good looking but you think its just a big act. You know something about her that nobody else does...Tell her although she's good looking and seems aloof you know she's really not like that. Most guys probably approach her with only one thing in mind. So it's hard for her to make a real connection with people that are interested in her for the person she is. Then say I know your sensitive about your hair but I really was just playing with you.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 6:15 am 
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There are definatly more factors then just physical rating when negging. You have to be careful because it's a delicate balancing act.

This is why I always (at least when I'm just starting with negging a lady), neg her with a big smile on my face, constant eye contact, and a joking around frame... And if she gives a look like I hit a sore subject, then it's kino time! lol, I like to go straight in for a hug and DLV(or soften) my neg while maintaning its validity (don't want her subconcious to see you as a liar that -V)... eg. Hug "oh it's ok your hairs not that bad, I only noticed that there were extentions because I was so close to you"... thats a crappy example but you get the point.

Also when negging to drop her B-shield or DLV her a bit... be careful if she percieves you as equally or more physically attractive then her if this is the case I say don't neg for DLV at all, or you'll seem stuck up, and she will be insulted. (She already sees you as equal or better)


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