Hey,

First off I want to state that I use to live a perfect life, in my eyes, I was captain of football team, perfect girlfriend, great group of friends, great school, amazing family and everything. That was in high school. Although I am not over the girl and I think about her everyday, and she doesn't give a shit about me, it kills.

I am now in University, a place I dont really even want to be, but I have to live with my choice, and I am stuck there for at least a year. I have so much free time it's not even funny, she is always on my mind. I use to play soccer at a high level and I havent enjoyed the team that Im with now as they all like to get drunk all the time. Im in my room all the time, and due to my situation of still not getting over the girl and wondering why this happened every single day, I dont sleep right, I sleep during the day and I am awake during the night. I lost my appetite, i have no clue how, my social skills are down the drain.

I don't feel like clubbing because she is on my mind all the time. Literally, all the time, i am awake right now because of her.

I need a serious motivation or advice to get me started, please I wanted to join the gym but I dont know how or any programs and I feel like it wouldnt change much. I dont have many social skills. Any good advice will help, i dont even have a plan in life to motivate me to work to something

Sorry to hear that man, sounds like a tough situation. I remember my 1st year at University and it sounds a lot like yours; i think all the free time was the hardest. I cant offer you all the answers but i can tell you what i did a few months back after a bad breakup that helped me get back into gear. Now remember, there is no quick fix, all these things are little incriments that taken alone dont add up to much but when added together combine to make something great. Remember you are working to build a better tomorrow. You will be living life in the future so work hard today to make your future great.

1. go running- i started doing this just to get the endorphin rush but it became addictive. I kept with it and started running 5k races on the weekend.

2. go to a gym, yea i know that this is old advice but its advice because it works. You will begin to feel great and that will improve your confidence and overall mood.

3. get involved, join a club or go volunteering at some organization. I started volunteering at a downtown art center and met a bunch of cool new people.

4. Dont worry about finding a new girlfriend or working on your game for a while. Seriosuly take a break for a while. If your feeling down/depressed/love sick your not going to be attracting girls anyway. Take a break so you dont beat yourself up about it.

5. Pick up a new hobby or re-connect with some old ones that maybe you haven't done in a while. I started rock climbing and playing golf again.

6. try to meet some new friends if you dont know anybody or hang out with old ones if you have a chance.

Ok so this is pretty straight forward basic advice but this is what i did for about 8 weeks and by week 9 i felt great and had a bunch of new girls in my life and I didn't even have to work for them. By living an interesting live, it pretty much takes care of itself. Hope this helps buddy

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~Carmo~

Thanks man that advice is very good and I was planning on doing that stuff as well! It's just that, apparently if you run, and go to the gym, they counteract against each other! Gym puts on weight, running burns it. I need to eat a lot of food because I have been DYING to put on weight but I just can't while remaining fit.

What about her, the girl? Like its everyday on my mind. And how did you just start meeting new girls? I mean running going gym doens't really invovle girls. I dont know man.

I am thin too but at the time running made me feel really good from all the natural chemicals it releases. I am not trying to be some huge bulking guy so lifting weights about 3 times a week and running a few days worked fine for me. Point was to get your body back in gear to make you feel better. Honestly i felt like such shit after the breakup that running and working out was the only way i felt good.

The point is that your not going to meet any girls unless you are feeling good about yourself. You may meet them but you wont attract them. So that should be your first order of business. Honestly do you feel good enough to think that if you met a good girl right now you could keep her? If your answer is no then theres work to be done.

Like i said though, take some time off from even trying to meet girls right now and work on yourself. There is no magic pill to get over somebody you loved, time will help, so will staying active. its different for each person but ive read that it takes about 1/2 the time you were together to get over sombody.

For me it just started happening, it was crazy. I literally didn't meet any girls for about a while and then boom, banged 2 girls in one week and met a bunch of others. It just happend organically since i was meeting them all over the place. If you want a slumpbuster, just go out to the bar or club and meet a drunk chick.

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~Carmo~

if you want to put MUSCLE on whilst still building stamina then do high intensity interval training or possibly take up boxing ? in my opinion its the best thing sort of training you can do.

anyway to the topic at hand. it sucks that you broke up with your girl but think about it this way , youre at uni now. this is the perfect oppurtunity for you to reinvent yourself and start from scratch. im looking forward to going uni next year, just 3 years of sex , drugs and partys lol.

if you want to start rebuilding your social life then try saying yes to everything. any oppurtunity that your presented with do with optimism and youll soon be the bollox again.

yes i did get this idea from the film but it fucking works lol.

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Seize the day

I am not like any other guy who wants sex drugs and all that. I want one girl to love, in my view, that one girl Ill never have back

I'm like you man. I don't want to f**k 35 women per month, I'm not in the game for that. I'm in the game because my gf broke up with me a few month ago. She was not the one... so that's okay. Yet I realized:

1) If I want to meet the girl of my dream, I have to go get her.
2) The game is the best way to keep her (keeping the value up, keeping all the options, ...)

Now, I'm just a 23yo AFC learning PUA material to be better with women. As I told you, I don't want to bang 5 women per week. I just want to find a nice relationship (or maybe a casual gf) and keep all the options for me.

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

So what you think man? Wht have you learnt? How do you get over knowing she was the one

She was not the one for me, so that was not the same situation. As I told you, I'm still a newbie, so I can only tell you what I learned from my small experience. Hope somebody will give you more on the subject

You say she is the one. Why so sure? My guess is you were in love and now that's over you feel NEEDY and INSECURE, exactly how I felt. I think you have to focus on getting over these feelings: go out, meet people. But most important, do not show your ex-gf that you feel that way: that's the most unattractive thing you can do (dropping interest value)! Act unaffected (hope it's not too late).
Your situation is hard, but everything will be ok. But if I was you, I'll do everything I can from now on to kill One-itis and make the rules of the game: you have to be the one with all the options.

Keep the head up!

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

I feel you pain, just remember that time heals all wounds, be strong and fight through it.