AFC Trying to steal my girlfriend



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PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 11:28 pm 
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Ive been in a relationship for about 2 months now & all is going well. But one of her ex-boyfriends keeps trying to get back with her even though he knows we're together & is trying to get her to leave me.

I dont consider him to be much threat as hes very big headed & brags alot about how perfect & good looking he is by saying things like as i quote "have you dumped your boyfriend yet as im better then him" (which we all know turns off attraction)
& sending her messages from msm asking her to come round his place.
making it too obvious hes just after sex.

Most of the weekends when she is out. the loser guy is there try to pull her, following her around not leaving her alone showing off his muscles & bragging even more, but she's having none of it.

When i'm next out & see this guy trying again. How should I deal with this. & how can I make him look like an idiot as this guy is really starting to p*ss me off now.

Thanks in advance for your replies.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 11:38 pm 
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If he comes up and starts acting like this, I would take him aside and straighten him out. I would just stop him mid sentence while he's trying to impress her or something and say, "Hey, can I talk to you for a sec, just over there" and point to a spot a little bit away, then excuse yourself from the group, put your arm around his shoulder and take him away. Then you say, "Buddy, I know you've still got it bad and we tollerated it, but its getting old and we're both tired of it. Its time to move, OK?" Then you just walk back and put your arm around her waist and walk away with her.

The key to dealing with guys like this is to be civil, but alpha.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 11:54 pm 
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Thanks for the fast reply Rye, that sounds like a good approach.
I got most my material from David Deangelo but he doesnt mention dealing with this issue.
Look forward to seeing what everyone else has to say.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 12:38 am 
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Rye the only thing i see with this that is wrong is that if he tries your approach he might get knocked out. Especially if the guy is bigger than he is. I would reccomend if he is right there in front of you talking about how good looking he is and how strong he is use things like "well i see that plastic surgury paid off, or wow steroid's seem to work for you." Deflate his ego a bit, and get everyone else laughing at him. He will walk away normally, or start a fight. But either way, dont show that he is bothering you. If you do your just an AFC too. Look up AMOG killers. There should be some good stuff in there to help you out.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 5:00 pm 
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See, the whole point of just dealing with it civily, is to give him an out, so that you don't have to publicly embaress him, because THAT is what will make him punch you. Now if the guy has a crazy temper and might flip out, then this might not work quite as well and you might want to keep your distance and AMOG him a bit (there are some posts on that on here, but Tyler Durden has some of the best material on the subject). If you just show the guy who is the Alpha male around, then typically unless the guy likes to fight, he's just gonna back down. Its a built in response, ever heard of "fight or flight"? Unless you are pretty much positive you are going to win and the other guy is acting submissive to you, usually its flight that you feel.

Last night we were standing in line at a really busy pub and were like 5 people away from getting in and then another 5 people joined the group in front of us, after we had been standing there for almost an hour and a half. So I look at the guy ahead of me, he's half a foot taller, and I say, "God, don't you ever just feel like a DOUCHEBAG when you cut into a line where people have been waiting for over an hour? You just feel like SCUM, don't you?" I mouthed off to him and another big guy and in a fight, I don't know who would have won, quite possibly them, but because I just stood my ground and looked him in the eyes, this guy that was half a foot taller than me just walked away from me instead and hid behind like 5 girls.

Now, I'm not saying that you should call this guy a douchebag and insult him, I'm just saying stand your ground and you'll be the one intimidating, not the one being intimidated. If you've read The Game, you'll recall a very interested part where Mystery stares down a guy with a gun with a similar attitude.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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 Post subject: Well
PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 5:33 pm 
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To start off, this guy is a prick/doush. I really dont know much about this other guy, but first talk to him. Be civil and take him aside and say somthing like "you had your chance and its time to move on", or whatever. Ive only had to do this twice and once it worked out ok. But if he's going to far, just beat the crap out of him. Thats the last resort. I had to d it with my last girlfriend and once with just a friend cause he would'nt stop bugging her. But they were cocky assholes and were going around telling people that im lying about what I do, act as though i was the bitch of there group, and pouring drinks on me at partys. If this guy does this to you, WOUP HIS ASS!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 6:13 pm 
My question is, does SHE want him to stop? Has SHE told him to stop?

edit: No, David D doesn't cover this because he doesn't cover "relationships". Last night, this guy started talking to and flirting with one of the girls that was with me, when I wasn't by her side. I saw it. I told her later if she wanted to go be with him, hook up with him, all that, to go on. She stayed with me. So, what does your girl want out of this?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 7:26 pm 
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I usually find out he was stalking her again when I start a causal question like, how was your night babe.
Then she would reply with what she got up to then say that arse hole was in town again following me around & he won’t get the hint even when she say she’s got a boyfriend. She would be moaning to me in a way like she wants me to do something about it. Because one night when I was out with her in a night club. I spent about 20 mins queuing up to get a drink.
When I returned she argued where was I saying she spent x amount of time trying to lose this guy.

When I'm standing next to her he stays away, so it not like he’s trying to pick her up in front of me or intimidate me. It’s just when she’s having a ladies night out or i've gone to the toilet etc. he will approach her bragging that he’s better than me.

If I was to hit him it would make a spectacular fight because I have a black belt in taekwondo & he has a black belt in karate & we both go to the gym.
Although that’s the last thing I want.

Unfortunately I live in a small town where there’s only 1 night club so the chances of her bumping into him on a Friday night are very likely. My gut instinct says she not interested especially when I watch her body language around him.

Sorry for this long story of my life’s biography lol. I’ll think I should start off with the professional approach to him then next time bust his balls if he does it again.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 3:17 am 
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Spectacular fight? I say no.

I've seen you martial arts type guys go at it before, it's no different than your ordinary street brawl. And it only helps to DLV afterwards, not to mention getting you arrested and banned from the place. I say Rye has got it down pat.


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 Post subject: saxk up
PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 3:39 am 
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you have to always walk with your dick dragging on the ground... be a mans man. the scrubber you are referring too will move on only after YOU and eventually your girl friend display signs of higher value. if you bitch up about her always running in to him or "gee it really bothers me that he is following you" will reinforce to her that he is better for her than you are. how would a mans man handle this? make sense? two things need to happen. 1) whatever, i'm not worried about it. it's simple you get me or mr insecure/scrubber or 2) you roll like i do and jump out of a bush and smack the dude up. no one fucks with me and my house-


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 6:00 am 
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Quote:
Spectacular fight? I say no.

I've seen you martial arts type guys go at it before, it's no different than your ordinary street brawl. And it only helps to DLV afterwards, not to mention getting you arrested and banned from the place. I say Rye has got it down pat.
I agree, fighting is not the answer... it makes you look like barbarians, and she's some cavewoman that your gunna bash over the head and drag back to the cave. Unless your actually defending a lady it's always major DLV.

Be civil, give him an out, and don't emberass him. If that doesn't work then let the AMOG destroyers flow, and make him feel like shit... after all who get to grab the lady and do "boyfriend things" right in front of him if you like?

But I'd take Rye Lees suggestion first, it's quality


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 Post subject: Something better...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 11:31 am 
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Give him your David Deangelo material so he can shape up his personality. There are plenty of fish in the Sea for him to start Fresh with. I like the idea of taking him aside and having a chat with him. The sooner he moves on the better for everyone involved, including him. I'm sure many of us can relate to having this experience, on both ends of the stick. People want what they can't have, so you have to change what you want, want something better, better for you.

Peace out.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 1:23 pm 
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go alpha male and point at him and in a loud deep voice just say "hey man, stay away from my girl." at that point just walk away with her. DLV on him. DHV for you because you have balls and can protect your woman


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 1:11 am 
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An AFC is an AFC, and will always be one. If you're hanging out with your GF, and he's in your presence you should make sly comments to DLV. If he talks about something he's really into, minimize it so that he will play a supporting role. i.e., if he's really into computer programming tell him that you had a fantastic idea, and it would be cool if he could design something like that. If he talks about cars a lot, tell him that your taillight blew out, and maybe he could fix it.

The goal is to push him down into a supporting role (to you) without actually insulting him or being outright rude. Make him a beta male, make him your bitch, but don't do it out of malice.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 1:18 am 
Quote:
An AFC is an AFC, and will always be one.
While most of that post had merit, this part of the statement isn't true at all. If it was, none of us would have any hope.


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