...yes, everyone has it when they first start out. Something is ALWAYS pulling me back from opening up a cute woman when I see one walking down the street. There have been sooooo many times in the past few years now when I've been really attracted to a woman walking down the street, even checked her out, but still, even now with knowledge of the game, I just can't open her.

The funny thing is I am actually good at talking to women and I don't have a fear of rejection. My mind just tells me, don't do it!

It's getting to the point now where it is REALLY starting to frustrate me and, aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I think I'm just a big girls blowse. Or need to get bigger balls.

Any advice from you lovely PUA's out there?

P.S. Sorry if this is in the wrong section. It is only my second post.

I used to be the same way;I think we all were.

Challenge yourself!

I forgot which dating coach originated this but his thing was to take his students on challenges where they would have to approach a # of HB's during a day.

The key isnt to look for results nor # closes.

When you have goals and ulterior motives,that's when you get paralyzed with fear.

But to just approach and ask a quick-innocent question,"What time is it"?

Over time,this method will make you more comfortable.

As a question of every HB you come across and simply leave.

No goals in mind.

But the moment you say to yourself,I want her #.

A guy in your position is destined to fail or not approach.

Try it out for a week,approach with no goal in mind.

Jut say hi and keep it moving.

Until you would've gotten comfortabe a this.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
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Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
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Hey K-loc! Thanks for your advice.

Yeah, asking a woman for the time is something I have contemplated doing. I don't know why I don't even do that tbh.

Until I can figure out a way to get rid of AA, I am not going to get very far in game. It doesn't help that most of the time when I am walking I am going somewhere i.e. to catch the bus or to the shop, but I'm sure I can find the time to approach women.

Any other advice people have?

Here's some things I learnt from books and stuff over the course of the year.

As a general rule of thumb, the quicker you can approach someone after first noticing them, the better.

You want to approach so quickly is that the longer you take to approach, the more opportunity you have to talk yourself out of opening your target, and the stronger the temptation to stay in your comfort zone becomes.

Remember “He who hesitates… masturbates!”

Reason you hesitate is because your mind is telling you:

- What if she doesn't like you?
- What if she already has a BF?
- What she doesn't like the way you look?
- What if.... Etc

During that time, your mind is also thinking:

1. You are focusing on a negative outcome
2. You are rehearsing failure
3. You are allowing fear, doubt, and uncertainty to take control
4. You are giving outside factors time to distract you or take your target away from you

Eventually, you’re going to want to train yourself to approach automatically, so that it becomes instinctual to do so as soon as you see your target.
Never use hesitation as an excuse NOT to approach. When you chicken out because you think too much time has passed, you’re just rationalizing your desire to stay in your safe little comfort zone.

Action will ALWAYS overcome hesitation. Always. Remember that.

By doing so will help you improve greatly.

It's the fear of rejection that's holding you back, we all had it at one point.
The way I got round it was by instantly disqualifying myself as soon I spoke to them. women are a lot more intuitive than men and nearly always know what the underlying dynamic of an approach is but as social beings they have to give you the benefit of the doubt at first. When I approached I used the disqualifier in the first sentence "my girlfriend is........." and as soon as they hear it you can physically see a phase shift in their physiology as the barrier drops. If the conversation keeps going and I received IOI's then I mentioned my GF was a holiday romance and she has returned home now and I was feeling mellow thinking of all the romantic adventures we had had then describe them to the target bristling with dhv's.

@Chin.Up-Good point about the 3- second rule.

Once you spot a girl you're into,go for it one time.

Face your fears.

Dont be scared to go up to a girl and say,"Hey,you intimidate me.Your looks just leave me speechless,Im nervous as hell right now around you.Why is that"?

That opener would be shocking to the girl.

She would most likely go.

HB:"Thank you,but why do I intimidate you?Im harmless".

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

Haha, that would be one hell of an opener k-loc. You ever tried that one?

As for chin-up and melodical, thanks for your replys. I get you both totally. I'm not so much scared of being "rejected", I honestly couldn't give a rats ass about rejection, I am just... self-concious I guess.

Let's just say I'm not the most good looking guy in the world. However, despite being a college student, I still try and dress smartly without looking too much like a scruffy dosser.

As you said chin-up, I guess the longer it takes me to approach, the more I think about what she will think about me. I have always been a self-concious person. But at the same time I've always had confidence when actually having a conversation with a woman. It's just the initial approach that holds me back.

I know a lot of lines, I know a lot of stories, I know a lot of push and pull methods, but untill I decide to approach, I know it'll mean nothing.

@Fireazor-lmao,I actually never tried that opener;I just made it up.

But thinking about it,I might add it to my arsenal.

It's actually good stuff when I think about it.

It isnt cheesy & needy as one may think.

It's different in saying,"you're beautiful and I want you".,than in saying,"your beauty intimidates me".

Thanks for the props Fireazor.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

I've been there.. the best way iv'e dealt with the whole AA thing is to literally chat up everyone.

EVERYONE. talk shiit with anyone who will listen.. practice makes perfect.. be comfortable chatting to anyone anytime. works wonders.

Damn it man I have the same problem... Ive been reading about PUA for few months now, and since I do not have females in my social circle, and I cannot open cold for the same reasons you do (not exactly fear of rejection, more of a self-concious thing), have seen only very limited results, when girls open me because of better body language. But that happens very rarely, looks like there is no substitute for cold opens.

@k-loc No problem, you made it up! It is very different actually. It is very, very direct though. lol

@Maikuljay That would be ok if you are in a club, library, mall, cinema, somewhere like that, but for walking down the street, especially when its very busy and you are trying to get somewhere, isn't exactly the best of ideas. But yeah if I was going somewhere specifically to meet people, I would.

@Forrest123 It is really annoying, isn't it? I have a fair few amount of girls in my socail circle but none I'd attempt to pick up. I've never been approached, not even in a club! But untill I start the game properly, I know everything I've looked at and learnt will end up meaning nothing.