Hi all,

I think I'm a little emotionally invested so need the advice of some brothers from an objective point of view.

There is a chick I've known on and off for 6 years, we kissed ages ago when we first met but always had bad timing with both having partners but kept in touch just randomly throughout the years.

She lives in the next state from me now and recently split with her BF of 4 years. She messaged me on Gchat and we talked for a bit, told her I'd just split with my GF etc. She brought up the time we hooked up and mentioned she def. isn't gunna sleep with me IOI. I told her she should come see me and I'll show her around etc.

I left it and played it causally and she eventually booked her flight here (only 1 hour) and when she came we had an awesome weekend. Pure fun, laughter and some good booming. When she got home she message me immediately saying what an amazing time she had, awesome seeing me etc. The next day she was texting me and throughout the week.

We talked a bit and I tried to organise second trip, only thing was logistically it couldn't be for like a month away, which I booked. My bro ended up going to her city on a work trip and could pay for my tickets on work so I used that as an excuse to go see her again. Stayed at hers for 2 nights and it was still all good.

After that trip our contact slowly petered off until I got to hers that weekend for our full weekend proper trip. I teased her about making a mad itinerary of fun shit for us to do and she did, which was cool.

FYI I feel my text game is quite weak, I don't really know what game to run via text other than just chatting like I would to a GF in a relationship - perhaps this is wrong?

However the problem, on this weekend she was hot and cold. Affectionate at times but noticeably less. We still had sex but clearly something was up. On the last night there I finally got it out of her and she was like what can come between us? Different cities etc and I've still got a lot of baggage from my last relationship. I just put it on the line that I like her and that there's no need to be fully serious, I would like to keep seeing her casually. We were both a bit drunk so there was no set outcome from this discussion.

When I got back she text me again throughout the next day a few times then total silence for like a week. I called her and she didn't answer called back the next day. I text her again and got a very curt reply then nothing.

Now I'm not sure what to do. I'm quite sure she likes me but emotions are fucking with me. I get the feeling she may be protecting herself, maybe she truly doesnt want a relationship or can't see it working, don't know.

Ideally I'd like to at see her casually again, I think it's probably a case of just need to let it go but wondering how could it be played to make her want to come see me again?

Do you think just staying in contact fun / happy style no pressure so she thinks of me and chats or just ignore and let her miss me? I know she just went through a bad breakup and is having therapy about it, but I also know that she is the kind of girl that won't stay single long.

So hoping for advice on how to proceed.

thanks all for reading

How old are you both? If you're less than 26, break it off. There you go, solved with science. If you're serious SERIOUS, start talking about who is going to move and change jobs, if you're not that serious, you should probably nip it in the bud.

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31 and still figuring it out.

yo cheers

yeah I'm 30 and she is 27. I guess I'm just unsure about how to deal with long distance and maintaining interest / contact. Usually used to just seeing a girl regularly and easier to have a lot more control.

It's funny, my ex just texted me an hour ago outta nowhere. She moved 1000 miles away 6 months ago, so we broke things off. I still want to see her, I'm still into her, but I decided we should both have our own lives and screw/date other people. I think this is what people our age do. If we're supposed to be together, then I'm convinced we'll end up moving closer together emotionally then physically. In the mean time, I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket and I suggest you don't either. Talk on the phone, do webcam chat every couple of months, but I don't think you need to maintain any more connection than that. So, maybe you don't need to decide if you should move closer together just yet.

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31 and still figuring it out.

you are right, that's how I would also handle it, but the talk on the phone I would do it once in a 3 weeks or something like that