4 months into my relationship which is approaching 9 months my GF revealed to me she was bi-polar. I didn't want to judge her, or do anything reactionary. I never would have guessed she was even after 4 months, I had no clue. So I felt it would be wrong to assume anything was different

5 months later, I'm starting to get sick of everything. Let me elaborate concisely

There is always SOMETHING. She always has an issue. alot of times it's really trivial stuff she is angry about. but then there will be these moments were she jsut fuck stuff up on her own, school, finances etc. She is at a point in her life where she is a girl very close to falling through the cracks of society. She has a low gpa and is swallowed in student loan debt with very little credit hours and 3 years to go. She hasn't owned up to the responsibility that she has made poor decisions and blames everything on anxiety, stress, and her mental disorder.

I on the other hand, after launching a self improvement campaign two years ago am on my way to law school, and have high ambitions and expectations for myself. I put a great deal of effort into helping her out. I taught her how to write a thesis, helped her with papers and studying. I put all my academic tools at her disposal. She continually drops the ball however. I won't get into specific details for sake of post length but to give you an idea she is the type of person who will miss a due date, email the professor, get it extended the miss the other due date, and then again, and again. and really stupid decisions come with this things.

The point is, she has continually fucked up in her life. She has failed to take responsibility and blames everything on her disorder. She claims she doesn't know whats wrong when it's very clear she is being irresponsible. As she fucks up her stress and anxiety and depressive states increase with frequency. I'm overwhelmed. I've done so much for her. and she does nothing for herself. She is a fuck up and I don't know what to do. She hasn't made any changes to be better.

Time and time again, she proves to intellectually incompetent, making the worst possible decisions. I'm coming to the realization that it's time to get out. I can't be aprt of this anymore, but she is emotionally unstable. SHe says all the time " I don't know where I'd be without you" and I'm the only reason she can be happy.

So here is my predicament: How do I break up with this girl. It will obviously destroy her as her life is in the slump and mine is on the raise, it will look like I'm leaving her behind as I rise to success. I've given her so many chances to change, but even despite everything, the relationship has taken a turn towards a very serious, high maintenance relationship and I'm not feeling it. I like having fun and being easy and I feel like I'm missing out on valuable time with friends.

-Diz

Every woman's bi-polar(lol);not to be funny or anything.

My current gf has similar issues as most women do.

But is she medically bi-polar,or you're just saying that because she's so irrational on things?

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She is medically bi-polar.

She also does irrational things

Look I understand every girl is a bit crazy and freaks about stupid shit on their BF, but this has been taken to a different level. Her happiness has literally become MY responsibility. Saying something really generic, sweet, romantic etc will make her really happy, but then if I say "hey it was pretty stupid to drink last night since you have this test today" I make her depressed.

I can't handle her anymore, she is out of control.

You're not going to destroy her life--she'll do that (and sounds like she is already) on her own. It's certainly not your responsibility to make her happy or to "fix" her, and no matter how sympathetic you may feel towards her, you have absolutely every right to protect your own sanity and get the hell out.

I wouldn't worry too much about how you break up with her. You don't need to be cruel, but there's nothing wrong with telling her the truth, and there *might* be a slim chance that it could be the catalyst for her to start wanting to help herself.

Tell her exactly what you told us. The truth.

So break up with her, what's the problem? Do you honestly think there's not another guy that will swoop in and try to pick up the pieces? You're not her life coach, ditch her and when she asks why, the best thing you can do for her is be BRUTALLY honest. She's a fuck up and she's fucking you up and no amount of non-professional help will fix her.

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31 and still figuring it out.

I was seeing a girl who revealed to me that she had borderline personality disorder, which explained a lot of her odd behaviour. I obviously didn't want to break up with her right after she told me, but I did keep going with the relationship for far too long and both she and I emotionally invested and ended up hurting each other inevitably.

It's best to just break up with her in as nice a way as possible. Don't mention it's her condition or her fault, just say it's not working out for you and you think you're two different people who are going in different directions. If she chooses to self-destruct because of it, it's HER CHOICE and HER PROBLEM, not yours. Don't blame yourself, and certainly don't stay in a relationship you don't want to be in just to be POLITE (god that's so British...)

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Unless he's brutally honest, I think she'll make excuses to avoid the real reason he's dumping her. It's much better to hurt her emotionally if it pushes her to get help.

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31 and still figuring it out.

You need to get the fuck out of your relationship immediately.

A. You never try and change a girl. I remember in some PUA forum someone gave a good analogy. If you were going to buy a computer, would you rather buy a broken computer and try and fix it or a computer that works perfectly? No girl is perfect, but you must disqualify girls with excessive problems and not drag yourself into LTRs you will regret later on. This has NEVER worked out in the favor of guys in the history of pussy. A guy has never gotten into a relationship with a girl with too many problems and then fixed everything and came out a hero. Usually he will be annihilated with the rest of the collateral damage as her monstrous vagina beams destroy everything in a 25 mile radius. REMEMBER: Girls are like Stocks, "turn-arounds" rarely ever turn around.

B. Never feel guilty for leaving a girl. Another popular social convention created to distort mens' view of the world. "A guy who leaves a fuked up girl is abandoning his duties as a man yet a girl who leaves a fuked up guy is simply saving herself." Bullshyt.

C. Don't be brutally honest, make up some shyt like law school is just too much for you right now. Whoever suggested you just tell her the truth is crazy. This girl has a mental disability, for all you know she might come to your house with a ski mask and beat the shyt of you with a giant bronze dildo

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Yeah man I don't know about telling her the truth, but one thing's for sure you need to split as soon as you can. The longer you stay in this relationship the worse off you both will be.

I can see the reasons to be brutally honest and push her to get help but from the sounds of things she either already is getting therapy or won't try that road at all.

I think that blondguy has it spot on though. Tell her that you are growing apart, and make SURE you tell her that if she destroys herself over you it's HER CHOICE and NOT your responsibility.

Try to use positive suggestions like 'choice' instead of 'fault' and stuff like that.

But shit man, breakups suck no matter how you spin them so remember it feels horrible for a few weeks but that's better than feeling horrible for a few years. I just broke up with my GF of 2 years because of that exact reason, merry christmas.

Better luck next time.