I'm basically moving countries for this girl. We had the most perfect two months in my life. I started working late shifts so I could afford to talk to her and the trip, I stopped going out and I literally cut expenses to the maximum. Spartan lifestyle even.
Thing is i started demanding compensation from her, and she is a med student. She has a really busy routine and I didn't realize that. I ended up forcing her to show up online (i adjusted my whole schedule so we could talk too, different time zones), and the relationship kind of gradually became an obligation.
I'm really not a domineering guy, but I sort of came off like that, and she kind of thinks I was gaming her. Until she gave me trust and I could control her. Thing is I wasn't, and I'd like to prove her that. She's brought up ideas of the kind "once a mirror is broken, it can be fixed but you can still see the cracks". Looks like shes going to play me as a revenge, and not let me in her heart. I'd really like to have a normal relationship, but i'm pretty much lost.

Any ideas?

This is a pick up forum.

A long distance relationship has NOTHING to do with picking up women.

I advise you to go out and meet women face to face, fuck them, and then realise that this one girl isn't very special at all.

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Do what blondguy said...

You've been with her 2 months and you're re-arranging your life to fit around her schedule? Madness.

Yeah, its kind of sick, but I think she's worth it.


Its not oneitis, i know what I want and what I need. I could've fucked plenty of women during this time (hot ones even), but I'm just not at that phase.

Its a relationship subforum right? Would you care to give me an input other than "go fuck other women"?

I'm really confused. What do you mean you "demanded compensation" from her? How are you willing to rearrange your entire life and move to a different country and yet you didn't realize your girl has a really busy schedule? Do the two of you even know each other that well?

And why did you need to "force" her to be online at certain times so the two of you could talk? Shouldn't she be willing to do that on her own?

My advice--if you want a normal relationship, try finding one within your own time zone. If the two of you had been together for years, I could understand wanting to totally change your life to be together, but a few months??

By demanding compensation I mean talking everyday (she was the one that came up with that, I enforced it), getting her to go to an internet cafe in a really shit area so we could talk (she's having problems with the net at her house, I offered to pay for GSM internet and she refused), stuff like that. We met on her vacation. I wasn't introduced to her schedule then. I was a bit ahead of myself, I acknowledge that, but one: its done already, and two, yeah, we do know each other. I'm talking about the kind of connection people only dream of. We'd know what the other was thinking ahead of each other and such. I've had meaningful relationships in the past, but none like this. She felt the same way. Even with her schedule, stress and all, the relationship still means a lot to me.

But yes, she should be willing to do that on her own. She was taking for granted the fact that I was going there and couldn't be arsed. I should have kept my cool, but I didn't.

Over fixing the possesiveness/controlling image, what to do?

(we're still set to spend two months together, i'm staying at her place, i'd just like to fix things before I go, so I'm not just going to another country for a fling)

Have you stopped and asked yourself, if you have such a wonderful connection with this woman, if it's so unique that you're willing to move countries to be with her, why does maintaining contact feel like an obligation, why is she already taking you for granted, and why are you already worried about how she views you?

Relationships are more than just great connections and good feelings. Even if you lost your cool with her about contact, don't you think she'll need to accept the good with the bad? That your getting angry and perhaps not handling it in the best of ways is pretty friggin' normal and part of being human? The mutually maintained illusion that both parties are perfect ends pretty quickly in new relationships, and how you handle each others' differences matters far more than what you have in common.

Good luck.