Been a minute sorry guys....

Gracious

If you want to be a person everyone likes you should be Gracious. It is very important to understand if someone is giving you something. I am very happy to get anything I get. Think about all the people who have said thank you and you knew they meant it, they made you feel good about doing something for them. Key being they made you feel good. This is also one of the ways you separate the Arrogant people.

Be thankful for what you have been given, if someone buys you a drink, offers food, gum, etc., they don't have to do these things be very gracious. If she makes you a meal give her a hug. Just make sure people feel good about giving you something. Not many people thank you for the little things, but the ones who do stick out in your mind.

Create an Experience

Sometimes you can create a small experience with someone. Some PUAs use magic, or palm reading or whatever. The goal is to create an experience, make them laugh and smile. Notice their little quirks, their body language(masculinity, child like, or femininity). Girls love when you notice the little things. Saying those are pretty earrings is far worse than saying I like your earrings the color compliments your shirt very well. Women love that stuff, it is because they do that stuff on purpose and you notice when no one else does.

You can create a simple experience through a compliment or and observation no one else is noticing. You create an experience only you guys have. This can be a powerful way for you to influence making someone feel good.

Goofy Nickname

I like to create off shoots of names that no one else does(make sure they are non -offensive). I have a friend named Brandon I call Brando. I might pronounce their name in a funner way. Just make sure you are not offending them.

I often times will call someone something crazy. It is something you can all do, I have called girls love, guys pumpkin, my cute little crooked neck squash, all sorts of crazy things. Just random stuff to get a smile and joke out of them. Than later on you can say hey pumpkin(guy or girl) and get a smile.

Inside Jokes

Creating an inside joke is the same concept as creating an experience. If you make a funny observation you guys can both laugh and joke about it. If you stutter over words or mis pronounces some thing you can tease(again make sure your not offensive) yourself a little(humility is humble). Perhaps they tell you a personal story and you can poke fun and use it as a inside joke.

You are basically looking for a way to create something only the two of you(or more) really have. You guys are all together laughing nobody else knows. This always makes people feel good, I find myself doing this more often than I realized. Good technique to make a connection with anyone.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Some great stuff in here! Keep it up.

Hey Brother. I cannot even begin to thank you enough for the two brilliant threads. I have finally scanned through them both after a week, and feel that I can finally give my observations without sounding too redundant to your posts.

While the goal is to help become a natural at pick-up, it would translate the same way on a forum to help someone be successful in many areas of life. Picture the traits of a successful salesman or politician that you admire. They are all naturals in their profession, utilizing many of the same traits described in these two threads.

I work as a political consultant and lobbyist. I naturally enjoy learning about people and their beliefs, especially those that have a different viewpoint than myself. In those circumstances, keeping an open mind gives me the natural ability to "genuinely" find a common ground nearly 99% of the time. I put "genuinely" in quotes, because people that routinely get “sold to” (especially politicians and women) are usually instantly aware (and skeptical) of chameleons. Faking it can only get you so far.

I also do a great deal of public speaking in my job, which I thrive on. It is almost as if I get an endorphin rush just to have a group of people hanging on my words and collectively laughing at my jokes. To hone my skills, I recently joined Toastmasters. While it is not a great place to meet women (unless you dig woman with 80 years of experience), Toastmasters or any other public speaking group will give you the confidence and a lot of communication techniques that can translate to pick-up.

Your posts have given me insight into my own natural charisma. I don’t believe there is a right or wrong way on how to incorporate these principles, but what has helped for me is to first determine the areas I have natural charisma. It has given me confidence knowing that I am already a “natural” in areas, and has given me a foundation to start changing the areas that need tweaking.

I look at building charisma, much the same way as working out. How many of you have been like me and decided to get back in shape, so you get a gym membership? When you first start out, you go everyday for several hours at a time overloading your muscles in an effort to speed up the process. After a few months you realize that you are now making gym payments, but haven’t gone for over a month. Overloading yourself, only causes burn-out.

I mentioned above how I have had a successful professional life, because of charismatic characteristics. My major problem is consistency. These same characteristics are somehow lacking when I am out seeking women. It is not a coincidence that every girl I have dated or hooked up with in the past 5 years, were someone that met at work or on the road. I won't go into detail about traveling, other than I recognize that my mindset going out to a bar in a different city is very different than when I'm at home in Phoenix. It’s almost a “nothing to lose attitude” since I don’t live there and won’t see them again. However, it seems silly that I can’t have the same attitude at home, since I live in a city with over 5 million people.

Anyway, my post is getting to be too long, and I do have a couple questions on some real life encounters I had recently.

In your post about compliments, you mentioned that clothing; accessories, etc are the best areas to compliment a female. I was talking to a female that I run into on a regular basis and I noticed she had a new haircut. I complimented her on how good it looked, because I genuinely thought it looked great. She actually complained that she didn’t like the cut and was mad at the hairstylist for making it too short. Is making a compliment on hair cuts off limits, since it is a physical feature? Also, how would you interpret her critical response of her hair cut to me? The rest of the interaction was great, gave me a hug as we ended the conversation.

Also, another female I know had a frown on her face for most of the day. When I noticed her smile briefly, I said to her, “I like that smile on you, it looks much better on you than that frown.” She actually blushed a little, and thanked me. Are there any problems you see with complementing a smile since it is a physical feature or is it consistent with recognizing someone’s body language and then calling them out on it? Actually, I was amazed it came out of my mouth, because calling her out on a frown is somewhat of a “neg.” I have a hard time with the PUA approach to “negs.” I can say “negs” to females, but only in a sarcastic manner when they know it isn’t true. However, backhanded compliments are not really my style. I like to make people feel good, not bring their confidence down.

I will be a continued reader of your threads. While there may never be an end to the information, would you ever consider compiling the info into a pdf so it would all be contained in one area? Also, in some of your posts you mention a blog that you started. However, I can’t seem to find the post that gives the link. If it is still active can you pass it along?

Thanks again for all you are doing.

Thanks for the love man.

I am good at joking back to them while she may be disappointed that it is not what she wanted I could say something like, "Well I like it, I think my opinions more important than yours so just accept that it looks good and we are moving on." It sounds arrogant so make sure sarcastic when you say it. You could even say "even if it is not what you wanted it still looks super cute". Hair is actually normally a great thing to compliment unfortunately sometimes it doesn't turn out as they would have liked it. You just reassure them it looks good. You could start off with an open ended statement such as oh you changed your hair, watch her reaction see if she reacts positively or negatively than you know. Either way I normally reassure them it looks fine. She probably loved that you liked it even if it wasn't what she liked. It is always good to get compliments on your style and that is exactly what you gave her.

Smiles to me are good to compliment, I compliments smiles pretty often. It often does cheer them up. Some times people just need encouragement to feel better. I have said things like that too naturally. If you compliment anyone with confidence they will accept your compliment(even if it is looks). Some people aren't confident enough to compliment peoples looks and not sound to frail. I am a big fan of saying whatever compliment I see, it doesn't matter. She loved that you complimented her smile.

I haven't wrote up the blog in a bit. Just click the www button underneath my post. I will get some fresh stuff after Halloween. Life has been busy and have been working weekends.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

WoW! been a minute.... Here is some more tactics.

Taking the Blame

There aren't many people willing to step and take the blame. If something goes wrong and you take credit it is being a Man, when it comes to being "The Man" you obviously have to be a Man first. This is something I seem to do quite often, something goes wrong and I look over and say my bad. Sorry won't let it happen again.

If it isn't my fault I still take the blame. It is no sweat off my back. So what if I take credit for spilling a drink and buy someone a new one. They know whether it is really fault or not. In some cases they simply buy you a drink as well. It is relieving when someone else takes the blame. It makes it easier to step up to the blame. It is rare when you find a person willing to take the blame for something else. They tend to ease the mood because they are laid back and a problem isn't a problem. Easing the tension it always a good thing.

So if something goes a rye and it ain't too big a deal(don't take the blame for ridiculous things) don't sweat it, be the bigger person and take the blame. Who cares who's fault it is, the situation is there, it exists, and you can't do anything about spilled milk as they say. Move on, take the blame, ease the tension.

Give 'em the Credit

This is something I also seem to do. If I pitch in or even buy the majority of the drinks I usually give credit to someone else. After all why does it matter where or who the drinks came from? You are "The Man", you don't need the validation of a thanks.

To me it is no biggie, I don't have a ridiculous amount of money but taking credit for doing something to me is something insecure people need/do. So what if I say my buddy bought everyone a drink. I don't need the validation of me taking credit for giving. Giving is giving and there should be no expectation in return.

On a Side Note: Even though there shouldn't be expectations on the side, there is the Law of Reciprocation. Most of the time when you give people feel obligated to give back. Keep in mind this plays a bit on their subconscious. I don't expect anything in return but I am quite conscious of the effects it plays on people.

I have a good buddy that is very similar to me. One night we threw in on rounds for 10 people, we kept trying to give each other the credit. This is why I love him, he gives with no intentions to receive. Not even the credit of buying drinks when he even paid a little more. Giving someone credit for doing something you do takes a truly secure person.

Think about how good a person feels when they are given credit for something they didn't do, most people will push the credit back to you. Simply continue to give it to them. I am not just saying about giving to give credit elsewhere. I am merely saying when you give feel free to give credit elsewhere and you can may people feel great.

When someone accomplishes something say congrats. Someone just got married, graduated, had a kid, congratulate them. Someone did something a lot of times they are looking for validation, give it to them and you will make them feel great. When you do something and someone says that's awesome then you feel good about doing something. It is always good to make someone feel good about their accomplishments, especially in life. Every critiques these days, no on

Guys this in particular is a very powerful technique, giving credit to someone makes them feel good. Giving them credit or congratulations makes them feel good. I give credit, I congratulate, and I take the blame, you should too and it will severely boost relationships especially on first impressions.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Poetic,

Thank you so much for the detailed response on your Body Language thread. Once again, very helpful. I'm responding here because my next question is more appropriate for this thread.

Do you mind providing YouTube videos of people that portray these qualities you've done so well to describe on this thread? I'm getting a tremendous amount of insight from reading your material, but who in real life IS THE MAN? What is it like to see them behave? What is it like to feel their presence? How do they utilize their charisma, charm, diction, vocabulary, etc to get what they want?

I feel that perhaps citing video examples of politicians, actors, sports stars, and other leaders exemplifying attributes of "The Man" will not only help us all, but will further hit home your points, because we'll see visual references of your teachings in action.

Of course I'm always open to the option of seeing footage of yourself in action too

Your assistance has my infinite gratitude.

Thank you very much!

_________________
Baglady

Famous Folks

Well when it comes to finding a person that is "The Man" it is difficult because many of them have fortune and fame, this adds the value to get what is considered "The Man." I mean a famous person comes in and they have presence a lot of times from recognition, sometimes they don't but there are moments when everyone is looking at them. For this reason they get the attention. A nice social proof.

For this same reason it is hard for me to distinguish the people out there who derive their presence from their fame or fortune. Since none of us have that it would be hard for me to make a comparison. They have an edge from one perspective. They don't need to add value, social proof speaks for itself.

No time to Search for Videos

I am not someone who has the time to flow through these YouTube videos looking for traits. I don't think it is a good idea to tell you oh this guy does this right go do it like him, I believe in individuality. I give you guys tactics that are quite useful but they are useful within your own personality. I am not looking to create clones, I am looking to inform and allow you to use the information to your advantage.

The Current U.S. President

When it comes to great examples of Charisma Obama is one of the most charismatic international figures you will witness. Open confident body language. Non-threatening yet completely confident. Shows intelligence, obviously his resumes speak for himself and his diction is incredibly large. Check out the Secrets of Body Language by the history channel. It tells you how Obama woos a crowd so to speak.

Charisma is Impossible to Describe

It for me is hard to characterize everything about Charisma, being "The Man". When it comes down to it there are 1000s of different situations, I have approached all differently. There is some consistency within my character but the fact is I strive to treat each person differently, perhaps that is where I derive some of my "Charisma" from. When I say differently I mean some people as I have said are comfortable with different language(cussing, courteous, etc.) as an example. Create a different relationship with each person and they will truly love it. Always conscious of my effect on them(reading body language certainly helps).

Sports Stars

Most sport stars represent the presence of "The Man", these are men who have earned their confidence and with out confidence they can't perform up to par. Kind of like you seeing a athlete with swagger vs. a athlete in a rut(whichever sport). A man that can and has proven himself physically will definitely feel as if he is "The Man", the social proof of his SPAM proves so. This is very hard to use to our advantage for obvious reasons.

Body language wise I would just look at any superstar athlete and they will show you they are "The Man". They will show you the stout confidence that represents "The Man". To me they always look relaxed after they won and are getting interviewed. When you see someone who is "The Man" they tend to not have a worry in the world. Confident and relaxed body, not necessarily rigidity in their posture.

Behavior

As far as behavior goes, this is truly person to person. I mention a lot of tactics some will work with your personal character and some don't. I happen to have a character where I have used several of them, in fact I practice all of them. I wish that I could peg this properly but it is a very difficult topic to handle. I give you guys a lot of ideas, but I want you to take these ideas and use them as a part of you. The only thing consistent is how they carry themselves. Usually they are completely low key and always a pleasure to be introduced to.

My Idea of "The Man"

There are quite a few things I have learned from movies, a lot of great statements come out of movies. Van Wilder has more than a few statements I loved but this one is probably the most helpful.

Life is all about building relationships. If you want to be that guy that gets in free, shakes the hand of everyone, is recognized all over the place than you will learn to treat people well and build great relationships. This is huge when it comes to being "The Man", when you have the posture, the traits, and the "connections" (social proof) you will walk in to any environment. You walk in free, joke with the door person. Walk over to the bar tender and shake their hand (girls come around to give me a hug). What do you think that looks like to people? Who is that guy? Why does everyone know him? This takes a little bit to get to this point where you have all this, but if you make a good impression on people then they will start calling you to hang out (I always have plenty to do if I start texting or calling around).

As far as movies, Van Wilder to me as a character truly represented "The Man". He had wit (funny), confident non-threatening body language, helped everyone, everyone liked him, plenty of connections, originality, charisma, etc. On the movie he was also considered "The Man." He is what I consider "The Man", to me the epitome of "The Man". I have these traits but I am not like him, if that makes sense.

That is what you are looking to do, gain traits but keep it original, be an individual. This is one of the reasons I don't want to point out this and that. There are so many guys that try and instill being someone else so that they can be cool, I don't encourage this. I want you to have some great ideas, gain some solid traits, but I want you to be you.

Some Video

I would like to put up some video, but I doubt it will be about being "The Man", the focus would be body language. Such a wide topic any character can become "The Man" with a bit of dedication. I don't care to video tape myself(have a camera follow), I am a big fan of discretion. As you can likely tell by my nameless stories. I don't want to create a video talking about what I do or would do. I am about self development, if you are developing into someone else then you aren't developing yourself. So gain the information, understand how to use it correctly, be yourself, and then use it.

I have no money to put up some video anyways guys, wish I could afford a camera. If you guys seen the dilapidated laptop I wrote on you'd understand. Screen is literally disconnected from the key board, sad. I have a solid lifestyle but I tend to be very economical in my life (nice to get all the free entries and drinks .) As soon as I get extra money I seem to invest it in experiences (vacations, going out, the occasional must pay concert, etc.) or in books, to me both are worth more than the camera.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I would advice you to borrow camera from some friend

Been trying with a few different folks. It almost seems easier to buy, they are flaky. I don't tell too many people I am involved with the community. Prefer discretion so I haven't told them my purposes, this is likely the flag. Just don't feel it is there business and prefer to keep it that way.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

You just changed my life immensely. Much appreciated man

Thanks for the love. Hope everything works for you.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Check Your Opinion

My Dad has a saying that I am sure plenty of his generation use, "Opinions are like assholes everyone has them". That's cool we all have our opinions that we have drawn for whatever purposes, but they are our opinion and don't need to be given to be everyone. How many people have you liked that enunciated their opinion to everyone? Not many, if any.

Check your opinion, they don't need to hear it and they don't want to hear it, in other words they feel exactly like you do. Why do you need to give someone your opinion anyways? Aren't you secure with who you are and your beliefs? Your opinion is useless to the other person. Don't give your opinion unless asked and when you deliver your opinion be diplomatic.

How can anyone like you when you sit there and push your opinion on them? I am sure you feel as I do in that I don't care because it doesn't matter to me. Learn to hold back, it will be hard when certain topic comes up. You will have to consciously observe your behavior and modify it. Some people rarely do this and others do this all the time, it truly is person to person.

I am a huge fan of the idea of don't talk religion, or politics. It is a damn great thing to keep this policy. Religion and politics evoke a lot of passion which can be good or bad, but when it comes to keeping people liking you overall it is a great policy to keep. I live in a area where religion is talked about early in the courtship process, it is a big part of the screening process out here. That said I never ever give my opinion on their religion, should they choose discuss I let them know that I don't care to discuss it and steer the conversation around it.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Excuses, Men Don't Make Them

Ever come across someone who makes excuses for everything? I am sorry I was late this bla bla bla. I am sorry I spilled your drink but bla bla bla. It doesn't matter don't make excuses. You are a man and men don't make excuses. That is for women and children. Nobody I know likes the fact that someone made an excuse.

Man up, part of the willingness to take the blame is also not making excuses. This is hard to take out of your behavior patterns because as a human you don't want to take the blame. You want to man up, say man sorry that happened but don't continue the sentence.

There is a difference between saying "sorry but...." and "oh my bad I was unaware". You are still taking the blame but you are not putting it off on anyone but yourself. Explaining is not making excuses, they are quite related but if you are explaining make sure to realize it is still your fault(though it may not be completely yours) and you aren't here to put off the blame on circumstances.

People love when you don't list off excuses. Why didn't you get this done? Sorry man didn't get it done no excuses, it'll be done though. When you say that to a boss ('rents, relatives, friends, etc.), they can't say anything. What is there to say? Shit he manned up, took the blame he knows, sounds like he's fixing the mistake.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Have Fun

Everyone likes someone who has fun, they give us permission to have fun. Everyone likes people who have fun. The best natural I know, literally puts no effort into girls they go after him. He is 6'8 but reminds me of a kid. He just loves having fun. This is a pretty easy question would you rather be around someone fun or a downer?

Be fun, don't sitting there ruthlessly making fun of someone, in other words don't do it at someone else's expense. To many people are serious in this world why does this need one more? Everyone loves someone easy going. Uptight is not out of sight. Be relaxed, everyone loves just playing around. So play around with everyone.

There are too many people that sit there and ruin nights because they aren't willing to bury things and have some fun. Have fun life will never have enough of it for you. Everyone when I come around loves me because I love to have fun so I always do, what does this do for everyone else? It gives them permission to have fun.

If you can't make fun of yourself there are some serious insecurities you need to work on. If you can't bathe in your own humility having fun your confidence must be raised. Stop worrying about anything but fun for a week or 2 it is addicting. We all have responsibilities but we still have the choice to have fun.

This seems like a pep speech and it is some what. People like to have fun and if you are fun person they will like you.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

The One-Upper

Ever met someone who has a better story then you all the time? A lot of their stories start with "Oh you think that is bad, well this one time...." They always have a better story then you, they always did something better the you. Then you ask "Are you one of those guys who always has a better story?" The answer always seems to be "No I know someone who is way worse about that."

Why does it matter if for whatever reason you do have a better accomplishment? You are secure and you don't need validation. After all if you are "The Man" so who the hell cares if you have some smoother stories. Life isn't a competition, how can you be making people feel good if you are dwarfing their stories or accomplishments?

It is cool if you have cooler stories that is solid but and serious but here, don't be the One-Upper. Always, show love for their story. If you have a comparable story that is cool but don't dwarf their story, act as good but never better better.

Don't be a One-Upper.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com