rite guys, not actually in a relationship here, but i was seeing this girl for a while now, and was meant to be taking her out on a date earlier after which i was going to ask her if she wanted to start going out proper!

rite so, bit of background info, been on a few dates with this girl, and we were getting on really well, and its safe to say she was fairly keen on me. (she initiated at least half of the texts, and the time we spent together we did connect well.(

so id told her i was taking her out 2nite and was txting her at 5ish saying i would get her at half 9. so thats fine by her.
then at 8 i get a message from her, tellin me shes really sorry but shes ending it, as shes only got out of a 2year relationship 2months ago and shes not ready 2 date again yet! - this was a massive shock to me, and really out of the blue.

as she only lives across the road, i call over (after ive calmed down) but no answer. so i txt her and pretty much call her a coward for the way she's behaving, and for hiding behind the window, when i knocked on her door.

so have you's any opinions on this? any input to this would be appreciated, and yes im well aware there is no magic answer, but honestly im so shocked right now.

cheers boys
p.s, this has re-affirmed my belief that all girls are a pack of cunts

well not as shocking as ur title meant but yea, i can see how that would surprise you.

well if it was up to me, my time is important and at this point what she is doing is playing games... any effort to bring her over to urside would be a waste of time u can be spending with another chick.

thats all i have to say, but if u feel that u are absolutly in love with this girl that u cant leave her alone, or if she is running around ur head all day, then hit me up with the same question but other than that.... dont waste YOUR time.

your mentality should be: She wants YOU, not the other way around.

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DISCLAIMER: All things said/suggested by "civilian" are strictly for entertainment and general information purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. I accept no Liability for such comments or suggestions whatsoever.

well it was a massive surprise, honest to god, everything was going smoothly and then i was hit with that bombshell.
and its hard not to think about things like this, particularly as it was so out of the blue.

but i definitely want to fight for this girl, I've put in too much time and effort to just walk away from things with a clean break.

has anyone any similar experiences? I've no idea what my next step is going to be

Freeze her out. Let her see you doing fun and exciting things and above all else....seeing other women.

You cant try to rationalise it dude. Women don't think logically they think emotionally.

Let her go, cool off and act like she was just another girl and she may come back

Some general stuff

1. Try not to focus your energies exclusively on just one girl. Especially right at the start of a relationship. You don't know each other that well, and she might be crazy or stupid or something, even if she is hot. Be interested in finding out about her, but it's better to verge on the side of being a bit aloof than too invested (i.e. NEEDY). In practical terms, that means waiting 2x as long to answer her texts and she takes to reply to yours, not always being available or changing around your schedule to fit hers, and waiting a day or two after your last date to tell her you had fun. Just to keep her thinking about you and wondering if you had as much fun as she did

2. Don't be afraid to escalate too quickly. By building sexual tension and kino escalating rapidly, the only thing you really risk is her saying "slow down." If you don't do anything after a few dates, she'll start to wonder if she's not attractive to you, or if she said the wrong thing, or (more likely) that you're a pussy. Be the guy she wants to fuck FIRST, and then show her that you're boyfriend material SECOND (if that's what you're looking for). That means kino kino kino, seductive eye contact, deepr voice, and turning the conversation onto sexual topics.

3. Don't be reactive. Better to ignore insults than to rise to them.

In this particular situation, with the information I have, I would say this:

She lost attraction for you because you gave off the classic "nice guy" vibe. You seemed very emotionally invested in her, but you were too chicken shit to escalate. She gave you some past relationship bullshit either as backwards-rationalisation in her own mind, or to give you a nice reason that wasn't "sorry you're too much of a pussy."

Calling her a coward = MASSIVE FAIL. She's not the coward, YOU'RE THE COWARD. Be a MAN and grab her, pull her in, tell her she looks fucking sexy tonight and you can't wait to do all kinds of dirty things to her. You know she wants you, and you want her. SHOW IT.

You're unlikely to be able to get her back, but my advice would be to apologise for calling her a coward, tell her that you guys get on and you're interested in exploring that with her, and when she gets over her past relationship issues, to give you a call. Then go out and game other chicks and forget about her. Who knows, she might get horny one day and get back in touch. If not, fuck it, it's one girl.

If, after 2-3 weeks you still wanna try and give it another shot, you could invite her out with friends, and have her see you in the company of other women who you are being flirty and sexual with. Then you could re-game her from basically square one and be very flirty and sexual with her too.

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thanks for the reply, really appreciate it.

in regards to the escalation, i did try and initiate things with her, playing with her breasts, rubbing her crotch etc, but honestly shes not the type of girl thats going to fuck all round her.
there was also lots of eye contact involved when we were lying beside each other, and the last time i was with her i was grinding on her, rubbing her neck etc, basically touching a few of her erogenous zones


at the start u mentioned the texts we sent, i can tell you now that i was leaving at least an hour/hour an a half in between her texting and me replying. also, she did initiate alot of the texts, and more often than not it was me controlling things such as when i was taking her out, and ending the texts saying that i had stuff to do, was going to bed etc

anyway, when i do text her, il leave it until sunday evening or so, i will apologise for the coward thing (are you sure this doesn't make me too needy?) and that we got on well etc and to give me call when shes dealt with her ex issues.

Being man enough to admit when you've said something stupid and hurtful is not needy. It's being honest and having the humility to confront your mistakes.

By saying you didn't mean what you said, and despite everything you do like her and you know she likes you, and that if she gets past her issues then get in touch, and then NOT CONTACTING HER, you're showing you're willing to walk away. The person who's willing to walk away is the one with the power, and implicitly the one with the most options. That's not needy at all, it's the very opposite.

As a final note - always remember in every interaction you have, women don't like to have pressure put on them and have to make decisions. They really really want a man to take control of a situation, whether it be simply arranging a fun night together, all the way to pinning her down by her neck in the bed and calling her your dirty little bitch.

A real man does not ask her on a date, or ask if she wants to go back to his place, or ask if she'll be his girlfriend. A real man TELLS her and knows she'll follow.

_________________
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FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com

ok lad, i get what your saying and see where your coming from. (think ive been spending too much time on truelad.com )

if you don't mind im going to pm you a template of the message I'm going to send her. I may only get one chance at this, so I want to make sure I do the best I can.

Its probably hard for you's to understand how much shock im in right now, I mean we went from one end of the spectrum to the opposite just like that.

I felt real comfortable round this girl, and was getting the same vibes off her, and thats why I had so much planned for that night - it probably would sound cheesy as fuck on here, but Im convinced that she would have loved it

I'm determined to get her back - lifes too short to have regrets

all evidence suggests that u want to make a relationship... the outcome with this girl.

well guy, i dont know if u know how to do this, but escalate EMOTIONALLY,

try to connect with her intimately in a much much more deeper level.

Good Luck

_________________
DISCLAIMER: All things said/suggested by "civilian" are strictly for entertainment and general information purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. I accept no Liability for such comments or suggestions whatsoever.

yea, i think its fair enough to say that i do want to turn this into a relationship.

u say escalate emotionally - what do you mean by this, can you elaborate and give me a gud few examples??

i mean after the second or third date i told her that i wanted her to know that she could totally be herself around me. this was just one of the ways to get her real comfortable around me

its hard not to think about it, because it really knocked me for 6. I think what must have happened was that her ex got wind of me dating her, got in touch with her again, and this has fucked her head rite up - or I could be totally wrong

also, civilian, check your pm's

she is probably still fucking her ex.

wow, great input there.

anyway, im fairly sure this isn't the case,
a) shes not a hoe-bag that would that
b) when i was seeing her, we were in touch literally every day, add to this her hectic work commitments for uni and her sport and that doesnt leave a lot of time to hook up with her ex