There is a girl I realized that I actually kinda like and would consider starting an LTR with. I am almost certain that she is attracted to me but the situation is somewhat complicated. There is actually a whole field report posted with her in it but I dont think anyone read it since it is prob too long. I realize this is somewhat long too but bear with me please.

here is the situation;

We met a few weeks back. I was introduced to her among a group of girls by a good friend. I liked her right away but my friend told me to be careful because a mutual friend of ours (lets call him John) was already into her and has been trying to get her for a while. As a result I ended up trying to get one of her friends (probably why she is attracted to me in the first place) who is also very hot but she turned out to be very flakey so not much happened (I k-closed her one night).

John is not AFC, he already has 3 gfs she doesnt know about. HOWEVER, he was obsessing too much over this one girl and I even gave him honest advice a couple time on how to get her, I pretty much had no interest in her just out of respect to my friend. About a week ago she said to him "I see you just as a friend" and its gotten to the point where I think nothing will come of it for him (although I cant be certain).

Two nights ago I got to know her after her friend ditched me yet again and I decided that I really do like her, we also exchange numbers. Here is a list of IOIs she was giving me that night (which started with pre drinks at my apartment and proceeded to another party);

- After opening the door she burst in and hugged me yelling "I havent seen u in ages"
- While taking a photo with me where both she and her friend were kissing one of my cheeks she was breathing in my ear really heavy, hard to explain but it was like when a girl is really turned on and is about to have sex with you
- She decided to show me how to give a hickey my demonstrating on me after she claimed that I "didnt give her friend a proper one"
- She fell on top of me instead of next to me on the couch several times during the night.
- she asked me to show her my six-pack several times and tried to forcefully take my shirt off twice after I wouldnt show her (because there was also like 7 guys and only her and her friend in the room)
- She asked me what I rate her on a scale of 1-10 and also gave me an 8 after I reciprocated the question
- She grabbed my ass while grinding on me at the party
- touching my hand, touching my chest and pretty much touching me whenever she got a chance
- She turned away from "john" and towards me (as well as moving close enough that we were touching) when I sat down beside her
- getting into a deep conversation about her family, what kind of guy she wants to marry, etc.
- Asking my number
- asking me to come clubing with her tomorrow night


I read these back and realize that what Im about to write sounds dumb but IM NOT SURE SHE LIKES ME. Here is why;
- because she might actualy be into my friend John
- maybe she flirts with everyone and is faking IOIs.
- Maybe she is only flirting with me to make him jealous or to make him back off cuz she doesnt like him.
- My friend today told me that he was sure that her and john would eventually hook up when we were discussing their relationship (although this friend is AFC so I dont really listen to him).
- John also thinks its "obvious" that she wants him (Hmmm).
- it was one night and we were both quite drunk

Btw, all my friends think I dont like this girl and like her friend instead.

Also, is it right to do this if my friend likes her even if I do get a chance? Other problem is he follows her around like a puppy dog and its hard to get some alone time with her without him stopping us.

So what should I do? We're going clubing tomorrow(not just us the whole group), unless she cancels. Should i text her? should I call her? Im so confused, I just dont know.

Here is an update:

Something happened two nights ago where both the girls got pissed off at "john". However, this morning my other friend (who acts as the organizer of the group) texted me this: "Hey man, clubing with the two girls tomorrow night is still on. Invite that ****** girl, we need one more girl". This another girl I have been trying to get and he knows it.

This mean one of several things, either John is coming and and is probably gonna cockblock me with this girl if I try anything (maybe even start a fight with me, there are strong emotions at play here...) or this other friend has his eye on one of the girls or there are other guys in the picture as well. One thing is clear, he wants me to be occupied with another girl. For one reason or another.

This whole situation is so annoying, I cant understand this male obsession with calling dibs on a girl and cockblocking all your mates even if one of them has a chance. I think guys dont understand that women arent objects that you can own and trade amongst yourselves, bu that they actually need to like you as well... sigh

Le Loup. I read your posts, does seem like quite a annoying situation you're into here. A true friend would back off, I used to have friends like that but I choose not to associate myself with them any longer. Sometimes, that's not possible because their part of your social circle as is your case.

Firstly, I'm sure this girl is loving the attention from you guys. She can pick and choose and she knows it. To take this guy out, you have to try come across as a challenge and not readily available. But with "strong emotions at play" like you say, that's very hard to do, especially with a little alcohol in the system.

Secondly, If I was you, I would def try avoid this clubbing scenario. The chances of you isolating her so that you can escalate will be slim with this "John" guy trying to fight you etc......

My advice would be: Don't go to this clubbing thing (make up an excuse that u need to see some other friends)! As controversial as this sounds this will give u an answer for once:

1. It will tell u if this girl really likes you or just faking IOIs. If she hooks up with "John" or another guy, she was faking all along and you can move on. If a girl really does likes you, I promise you that she will not want do something that could possibly hurt her chances. Just remember, You are the prize, not her, she must be chasing you always!

2. If she doesn't hook up this guy, You now know she likes you AND she will most probs want to know why you didn't come (challenge) to which u say you were just busy (Mystery & Intrigue). This puts you in a great place to set up a 1 on 1 drinks meeting where you can escalate without that "John" or any other cockblock trying to kill your vibe.

3. And lastly, if she is undecided about the 2 of you, by not chasing her, she will be more intrigued about you. So if it's hanging in the balance, you will now be the favourite and can watch that "John" guy burn with envy!

At least you'll have an answer and will know how to proceed from there. The exact same thing happened to me and this was how I ended up successful. Just being the more relaxed/unphased of the 2, wasn't easy when u really like a girl, especially when u see your friends all over her, trust me!

Otherwise, you can just go and see what happens but I'd only go if I felt confident enough that she really does like me or I don't care if she hooks up with another guy.

Hope this helps!

Yet another update. John did something stupid (which I wont go into) which made the girl pissed off at him. She was gonna "meet us at the club" until she heard he wasnt coming, now she is coming for pre drinks at my place before clubing instead. There will be other people there, only 2 other guys who ARE NOT a threat believe me, and about 6 or 7 other girls, like 2 of them really like me (im just not that interested in them) so I guess that will make me look good.

Furthermore, my other friend asked her straight up if she ever liked John because I guess he has his eye on her as well (although he wont get anywhere, I know) and she said she "only ever liked him as a friend and now thats over as well" poor guy

Which means John is out of the picture (although he might still be angry at me if I do anything). So I guess my game plan is to build comfort while drinking at mine while also showing her I have other options and then try to isolate at the club.

My other two male friends that will be there will do anything I tell them to make me look good or help me out, im not sure if I can use them in anyway...