What You’re Doing That May Be Turning Her Off- Online



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 11:07 pm 
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Note: Whenever I give advice on here, I always try to give it from a woman’s perspective, not just my perspective as a woman. With that being said, I think it’s only right that I let you know this list contains first and foremost my own personal “annoyances” when it comes to online interactions with men; I realize and should stress that many women may not care about some of the points I’m about to make- it all comes down to her age, maturity, and intellectual level (if it helps to know, I’m 19). However, many women will easily get turned off by some of the following mistakes you guys make when gaming us online, and so I thought it would be beneficial to some if I made this list.

Just a Heads Up

I honestly am not an advocate of “long term” online game. Your goal should be to get her off her computer and in person with you ASAP. The more time you spend with her in cyberspace, the more you’re likely to disappoint; admit it, you’re a lot wittier online than you are in person, and that’s understandable- you have more time to plan out your responses (and to ask the guys on here for some ;)). You’re definitely more comfortable in front of the computer than face to face with a girl, and I’m willing to bet you don’t really look as hot IRL as you do in those pictures you posted. If played right, your online game can get her intrigued and create a great alpha male persona in her mind, but if you don’t come off as all of that and then some in person, she’ll defiantly be disappointed.

Now here are some things I would advise you to avoid or at least be aware of when gaming women online. I personally would not meet up with any guy that has committed any of the following “mistakes”, and I am not the only one; don’t think that just because you’re online, you can’t turn her off- you most defiantly can.

#1: U Talk Lyke Dis

Spell check is your best pal when it comes to online gaming. I know it may sound ridiculous, but I will not even respond to a guy with bad spelling- I don’t care how witty your opener was. Correct spelling and sentence structure will make you seem more mature and intelligent, and those are both qualities she likes in a man, especially if she’s 18+ years old. Know the difference between “you’re” and “your”, “there” and “they’re”…know when “its” and when “it’s”; believe me, some women really do take notice of these things. Also, use punctuation! If you’re asking her a question, use a “?” … I can’t tell you how many questions I’ve been asked without a question mark, and it drives me insane! Common guys!

#2: You “lol” too much, and everything is “jks!!!”

Again, it makes you appear more immature. I’m not saying you are, you may very well not be and still “lol” between every other word, but that’s the way it comes off. And use the “jks” sparingly… she’ll get the point, you don’t need to label your jokes. I know it’s harder to neg online- it may come off too harsh, but in that case you can always use “:P” or “;)”… anything but the “jks!!” And don’t go overboard with the emotions either.

#3: You Write Novels

A good rule to follow is that your responses should always be relatively shorter than hers. I mean, if you’re writing her big chunky paragraphs and she’s giving you one word responses, something’s wrong. The more you write to her, the more interested and invested you appear. The less you write, the more busy and unconcerned you will seem, which is what you should be going for! Write just enough to keep the conversation going.

#4: Your Response Is Always Instantaneous and Your Conversations are Too Long

If you’re chatting with someone, it’s important to keep the conversation going, I agree. But every once in a while, I would wait a good couple of minutes before responding to a comment or question- anything to cause a little anticipation. Also, don’t drag these conversations on for hours- you want to keep her wanting more, and the way to do it is to end the conversation while it’s going good, not when you have nothing left to say. Tell her you have to go, and leave it at that.

#5: You take mirror pictures. In the bathroom. With no shirt on.

It doesn’t matter if you have a 6 pack- we make fun of these pictures, and, chances are, if she’s over the age of 14, she WILL NOT find this hot. In fact, guys that do this are ridiculous and should be kicked off Facebook. If you want to impress her with pictures, put up photos of you and other girls, you and your guy friends, etc. You can even do a bad cropping job, and cut some chick out of your photo, and leave just a normal photo of you- just make sure you can tell there was a girl there.

#6: You Resend Chain Letters and Ask Stupid Survey Questions On Facebook

“What is my best quality!?!?! 1. I’m cute 2. I’m dreamy…” Oh please! No self respecting alpha male will ever post these in their Facebook status, because no self respecting alpha male cares what other girls think of him- they should be the ones concerned with what he thinks. That said, don’t resend or start any sort of chain mail. Please. Once again, it makes you seem immature, bored, desperate for attention, and the list goes on and on.


Anyway, this is what I have so far. If I come up with another one, I’ll add it to the list, but I believe these to be at the very top when it comes to general turnoffs. I hope I didn’t offend anyone here, again this is just advice to help you improve your game.


-Roz

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:44 am 
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I don't do any of those things, maybe spell bad in english, but I'm from Belgium. So my spelling in english is maybe not that great. But anyhow, you are right about the points you make. When I have to wait for 5 minutes until a girl answers, I 'punish' her by letting her wait at least the double amount of time(10 minutes sometimes I even go up till 25 minutes) and then when I reply, most of the time, they give me a reply back under 20 secondes, max 2minutes.
My msn is almost always on, but for 3/4 of the time I'm on busy.
Does the busy status help?
When you reply late ?


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:11 pm 
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Definitely guilty of writing slightly longer responses, curse of articulation. Roz, any advice on dealing with dating someone who live 75 miles away? Should I just not come online (She hates texting and prefers IM) for a day? I am planning to see her this weekend but even then that's up in the air.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:38 pm 
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Quote:
Does the busy status help?
When you reply late ?
Yes and yes! But that's a little too late... 25 minutes? If she made you wait 5, then make her wait 10... a good rule to follow is to make her wait double the time she made you wait.
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any advice on dealing with dating someone who live 75 miles away? Should I just not come online (She hates texting and prefers IM) for a day? I am planning to see her this weekend but even then that's up in the air.
Do it! If you're online with her daily, definitely skip a day once in a while.

I'm no expert on long distance dating, but I'd say you shouldn't talk online more than 4-5 days a week... I mean, think about it: the less she can get a hold of you online, the more she'll be willing to get a hold of you some other way- like in person. If she really likes you and you do this, there will be no more "up in the air" when you plan a weekend date with her.


-Roz

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:59 pm 
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Definitely agree with number 6. So many people use the, "Like this status and I will tell shit about you" thing and it annoys me so much that I would post a comment saying "DISLIKE! You can't judge me!".


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:00 pm 
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Quote:
Definitely guilty of writing slightly longer responses
Im a man who has 20000 words to say rather then 2000, some of the things I say are more open then other peoples. I get straight to the point if Im busy if not I usually just try to enjoy the chat, sometimes I try to milk alot of conversation(I like to learn new things) and just stick to the one subject. How can I change this?

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:36 pm 
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Quote:
"Like this status and I will tell shit about you"
"Really? You actually have the time for this?" That's what I think what I see these.
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Im a man who has 20000 words to say rather then 2000 [...] How can I change this?
Be a man of 20. Less is more... you don't need to type everything you're thinking. You should "learn new things" about her face-to-face, not behind a screen.


-Roz

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:35 pm 
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Wow,great stuff Roz:

This' got to be the most advisable post ever on online gaming.

Im personally guilty of few(lol).

I guess that's why my online game is pretty weak.

I have a prob' of over texting and writing novels,although her previous msg was like 2 words(lol).

Lol,I never understood the pic in the mirror craze from guys.

My other main blunder not mentioned by you is at times,I'd flood the girl's facebook inbox with novels.

Well not really flood,but lets say the HB sends a msg to my inbox,I'd respond with like 4 msg,usually novels,then I'd wonder why she doesnt reply(lol).

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:39 pm 
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Last great point Roz,is that online game should not be forever.

I've read posts on this forum with guys who been online chatting with 1 girl for months!!!

Some of us get so reliant on internet gaming that we forget to actully go out and sarge and meet ppl.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:53 pm 
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Quote:
HB sends a msg to my inbox,I'd respond with like 4 msg,usually novels
Oh God, how can I forget to mention this one? This is one of the worst mistakes you can make; you defiantly want to stop doing this!

Wait for her to respond, always. If she doesn't respond, on to the next one ;)


-Roz

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:53 pm 
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Quote:
You should "learn new things" about her face-to-face, not behind a screen.
Lol I dont game online, Im talking about live chatting in general

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:52 pm 
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I have a question what is the best ICE Breaker if your browsing pictures and you see a pretty firl who interest you what do you say to get her to write back. I have experimented with random girls just to see what happens. I have gone complete AFC and said your sooo hottt. and have done some funny things like I would randomly say hey you stole my hairstyle. that always gets a response surprisingly. or I will ask a rondom surbey question. But what is the best how do we get the ball rolling but keep it in our court

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:13 pm 
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Hey All Day,I like your,"You stole my hairstyle line(lmao).

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:34 pm 
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roz you got any ideas on what to say in the subject and body text as for first time messages and something that would catch an attention or get her to reply back. like a good opener. something to get things to start out.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 1:15 am 
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Quote:
I have gone complete AFC and said your sooo hottt.
Why? Don't do this; she might say "thanks", but she'll file you under 'desperate' and that'll be the end of you.
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Hey All Day,I like your,"You stole my hairstyle line(lmao).
So do I!
Quote:
what is the best ICE Breaker if your browsing pictures and you see a pretty firl who interest you what do you say to get her to write back.
I usually respond to negs; just make sure you know the difference between a neg and an insult. Keep your comments funny. I bet some of mystery's negs could work well when you're commenting on her pictures:

- "You look like trouble"
- "You're kinda cute... like my little sister :D"
- "You need to get out more often..." (if it's a picture of her reading or cooking etc)
- "You remind me of my weird ex"
- "Oh – you’re one of THOSE" (If she's doing something odd in the picture)

Anyway, you get the point!
Quote:
roz you got any ideas on what to say in the subject and body text as for first time messages and something that would catch an attention or get her to reply back. like a good opener. something to get things to start out.
Like on a dating site? Some of the negs above could work I guess... "You look like trouble" for example. Just keep it short and funny. Don't go into a lot of detail about yourself, like "Hey! My name is X, I live in Y and work at Z!" Also, search the forum- there are tons of openers on here!


-Roz

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