i dont know whats going on with me. nowadays i just find myself sitting back and listening to others talk. most of the time its about things i know nothing about so thats all i can really do without interrupting like a jackass and changing the flow. half the time i doze off mentally and just tune out, sometimes even blank out (ralphie may got it right when he talked about men thinking about nothing). its funny because with certain women at work i can strike up convos with, c&f, competitive but friendly, they're in like this sweet spot where i dont know them intimately but way more than a stranger or acquaintance. im not really into them but i just notice a difference in attitude when i interact with them than with strangers, acquaintances or even close friends. chemistry i guess? its not really approach anxiety, its just spacing out and not really caring i guess. i can leave with a positive attitude, have things going my way, listening to music i want to hear, but when it comes down to it, its like i become a bump on a log who will chime in with something funny every once in a while. "the chill guy". is it a focus thing? low energy? not enough rest? bad diet? wtf? there's times where i am damn near the center of attention, and if i had to describe myself now its that im off-center.

Your a laid back kid of guy, who prefers to listen and talk when you need to talk. I dont see what the problem is here. Maybe your just not interested in what they have to say but will still have an open mind and listen.

_________________
Three Types of Players:
1) Those who doesn't know whats happening
2) Those who watch what happens
3) Those who make it happen

i just dont feel right. its comfortable to sit back and listen, sure, but i feel like its hurting my energy. its like im just along for the ride. you're right many times im just not interested but it feels like too many times. who would want to talk to somebody who is always uninterested?

Dude I used to do the same when I was stoned, Id trip out and listen. Now Im starting to break the habbit. It sounds like it may be loss of focus man, mine was loss of focus from not breathing lols (its true) I hardly breath through my nose, when I started doing so its like my brain is active again. try running to improve your brains activity

_________________
Three Types of Players:
1) Those who doesn't know whats happening
2) Those who watch what happens
3) Those who make it happen

Try leading the conversation by talking about what YOU see as exciting and what YOU like. Maybe this will turn into a more energetic conversation.

id run if it werent freezing out. cant stand it.
i feel like i can be spaced out when totally sober. but usually when i get stoned, i space out even more. i try to limit it. but i remember one time when i took a nasty bong rip at some stranger's house with a girl friend of mine, and i swear i was in clarity. i had never been that way when i was high before. only happens when im drunk, which i was a little too, but its hard to bring it out of me most of the time. i was talking about things that interested me, i was so laid back, i remember that night because it felt really good to express myself and the other girl there was really interested and we had a nice convo. i think thats my problem. im not really interested in anything. at that time we were talking about movies and legos (the guy keeps legos on his coffeetable), but thats all i really remember. when im at work or around friends, im just totally blank. it sucks. i cant even explain the mindset, it has no characteristics.
i think its a circular thing. i have no influence and so i feel like i have less value. self expression is important but i feel like i have nothing to express. that is what eats me.
thats the problem. i have nothing to lead with. my social life is less than exciting right now and my finances are in the rough. so much for "character building". i want to lead but i dont have much to work with. thats how i feel.