Last night was my brothers finally night at home before flying off to Iraq… for the 3rd fucking time! (I don’t even want to get into my political views) I got a call from our buddy bartender about these two sisters (not twins) and there mom celebrating the younger sisters 21st B-Day by playing pool and drinking shots. Our goal was clear. It was near 10:00 pm and I wanted to get there before they drank too much (drunk girls are my biggest turn off). My bro and I are prepared for situations like this… same shirt, same shoes, same pants, different cologne (we have this ‘Compare Smell Routine’ that works very well). I should also mention that he and I are FIVE months apart in age. We have the same dad, different moms and our moms were roommates… are you seeing a trend here?
Enter the bar:
We run the standard game, play pool with mom, mom likes that I don’t drink, she crowns me DD (designated driver) and leaves. It’s now about 12:30 and the situation sounds great, right? Wrong! Mom leaves with older sister. I wasn’t giving up on my parting gift to my bro just yet. Luckily, on every woman’s 21st B-Day, it’s her goal to get drunk and fuck. All we had to do now was make it clear that her goal wouldn’t be fulfilled if she didn’t bring a friend. New game plan evolves... My brother builds comfort while I appear anxious to leave. For some strange twist of fate her best friend is her 24 year old cousin. Her phone conversation with her own cousin was surreal: “Sonya… this is Des… wana get laid?” We bounce to the loudest, upbeat, bar close, restaurant we could find and waited for what I expected to be a 5, maybe. 20 minutes later she showed up. I’d give her a 6 but that didn’t matter because little did they know neither Sonya nor Des were for me.
Back at my house:
I’m a hobby painter and photographer, so any women that are at my place will always ask about the nude paintings and photo prints I have stacked in the corner. I immediately explain that the nude photos I take are for painting references and this always leads to sexual conversations and a nude photo shoot. Although Sonya and Des were the first ‘related’ girls I’ve ever photographed nude together I remained very professional. I was now ready for bed. Those confused girls will never understand how a guy could photograph them nude then fall asleep. As I drive my brother and his marine gear to the airport four hours later he gave me the details about only doing the B-Day girl but at least the cousin helped. Mission accomplished! Come back safe bro.