hi

i am this really quiet quiet guy, who is not only quiet around girls but also around guys. I see myself as a boring sole.

This is the reason I moved to a totally new country for work reasons. I thought maybe new country, new life, new start. I am in this country for 2 years. I thought when I came here I would be able to grow as a person, be a more fun person to be around. I dont have trouble making friends as such (usually male) but they arent great/close friends. It jus dont go anywhere because im so quiet.

Ive been here 2 months now, and seriously I have done NOTHING. I have not changed the slightest. Ive made friends but they are all drinkers and thats all they do for fun. I dont drink so I dont really go out with them.

I want to go to a night club to meet new ppl. But I am so afraid to go alone. I dont know the language so talkin to girls could be double hard. I have gone right upto to the front steps of the club and then turned back around. thats how bad it is.

I cry myself to sleep right now lol!!!!!! i watched the pickup artist for tips. but i just cant build up courage to put my game into action.

ive never been to a club. this whole experience seems like a waste.

what to do

Well telling yourself you want to be going out and doing something is a start. Saying it without action isn't a good thing. Your best bet is to go solo to a club and just see how it is the first night. Don't sarge at first but get a feel for it. Try to notice the people around the club and any HB's. Make a mental note of them and how you'd initiate convo with them. Look like you're enjoying yourself and have a few drinks. Dance even. Try to give yourself as much positive attention as possible. You say you're a quiet guy well this first time you don't need to say a word. Even if you spend the whole night not talking to a single girl you get a feel for the club and some ideas into how to talk to them.

Step 2 is to either find a wingman or just go blank minded and pre-say everything you're going to. Just try the MM. Your best bet is to look around for any HB's you've seen there before. The second you see one use the 3 second rule. Just go for it and see how it goes. Of course you'll need to know the MM and other techniques but those can be read through on the internet.

Also if you do go through with it, remember, each failure is a simple way of learning how to adjust your technique. Being a PUA isn't about winning everytime, it's about winning that HB in the end.

I have to say do not go alone! Especially if you are that shy. Go out with those drinking buddies of yours and just assess the club scene. You don't have to approach right away, but IMO you should at least open three sets.

A. If you thin you are boring so will they. Think of some things you have wanted to try and do them (i.e. rock climbing, magic, skydiving). Make your life interesting, even if you only rock climbing once it is still a story you can DHV with.
B.Do the Newb challenge- go to the mall and say hi to every woman you see
C. YOU are from another country!!! Use that to your advan. Women already think you are interesting because you are, in their mind, not like the American AFC.

Start there and then come back and tell us how it went.

-Envy

P.S. Read "The Game" by Neill Strauss if you haven't it will help.

The only thing I can add from my own personal let downs, don't be afraid of failures. There's plenty of fishes in the sea. We're all in this to learn to become better at this as we progress. I doubt most of us, if any, were born with the ability to attract women by just walking into a room.

Remember this, nothing breeds confidence like success and nothing breeds success like confidence!

BTW, have you check to see if anyone on this forum lives near you?

Step one- What do you enjoy doing in life?
People are only boring if they thing they're boring. You can be a fascinating person by simply looking at what you're already doing differently.
Do you like hanging out at home? Relaxing on a couch? Watching TV? Become a home person, entertain your ladies at home. Decorate your place with a few cool props and learn to cook a few good meals! You can relax on the couch of a pub, make eye contact with women and tell them to come over. You can become an expert at TV and know everything that's going on in all the best soap operas and reality shows.
You see, everything can become an advantage, name your commonalities and I name your game.

Step two- overcome fear.
Walk up to women and say "hi" "whats the time" Introduce yourself, ask them a few questions. The first few times are the scariest, do them as soon as possible. It won't be long before you're overcome this fear. Then you can make some real progress.

Step three- decide who and what you want o be.
Set yourself some goals, make a wishlist and some timetables. You say you are a boring guy now, well describe yourself as an interesting guy and then commit yourself to becoming you.

_________________
http://www.solomonseagal.com

Anyone can walk into a bar and pick up a random girl.
The trick is to make the experience unforgettable to her.
A real PUA will make every women he encounters feel like she experience something once in a lifetime.

You'll never get anywhere
unless you TRY.

if you START, you'll MASTER.

Envy is right, I wouldn't be going alone if it was my first time as I was really shy. Even if you aren't super friends with these drinking guys, at least you will be with someone and they can show you the ropes of the different clubs etc. Go out with the attitude of a tourist - see all the new things, experiences etc. THEN once you are comfortable in the area, you can start doing other things. But as someone mentioned, you are from ANOTHER COUNTRY!! BEST ADVANTAGE!! You are unique, exotic and different compared to all the other chumps that the girls see in the club every day. I was in Sweden for a year and man, honestly, you will be such a novelty to everyone. Get chicks to teach you cool phrases, show you nice areas etc.

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- Difference

First nights out do not concentrate on sarging... Just get out there, feel comfortable in your surroundings. Second night, start talking to strangers, third night try talking to an HB2! and so on, work yourself up to the point where you're talking to HB10's! Bottom line, work it! You'll never accomplish anything if you're not pushing your comfort zone!

hey thanks guys for all your quick responses.

well guess what i did go out last night. and despite me thinkin it woz a disaster i feel so much better about myself for just going out there. getting a feel for the place. i can see myself spittin game!!

anywayz heres wat happend, i didnt go it alone, went with a few of my friends, didnt have the greatest of times but i got a feel for the place. a couple of girls introduced themselves to me!! ( i didnt mention this b4 but i am a decent lookin guy). I saw oppurtunities to spit game right there and then, BUT these girls, i sorta "knew" if u like, i mean i didnt know em know em beforehand but like we shook hands and we knew each others names and all that. thats why i felt uncomfortable spittin game out. conversations didnt last long but i got one of em to laugh.

i did find myself standing alone for long spells tho. but it was such a shitty club (more of a bar than a club tbh, mixture of both) sooo small can hardly move about as it was. i looked around not that many sets to open. but i can see how i would do it if it were a bigger club.

so woz that an ok night? or am i still the biggest afc ever!!!

p.s. im goin to this event friday night, its at a bigger place, i think i might be going alone (i might feel comfortable that way, coz i just dont feel comfortable around these "friends" of mine) and im optimistic, i feel i can do this!!!

Good for you man! Be sure you're setting goals, makes for easier analysis on progression. But keep going out, even by yourself. I actually enjoy going it alone, as my "Friends" will typically say stupid AFC comments. While looking at me as if to say, "I've got this game stuff down and i didn't even crack a book!"
me; "Yep, you're just the man!"

So, I don't waste my time any more, I simply will go out and build my own entourage each time, or I'll stick to a few familiar clubs where I know everyone. This way women will see you having fun and leading the men.

First night field report. Please leave comments & advice!

here-vp39771.html#39771

First off all people need to understand this. You cant say I am moving to another city because I want a fresh start. What makes you think just cause ur moving you will change. When you move your the exact same person as you were before. What needs to change is you and not your surroundings. No one is a boring soul. You might not know it but you can be hilariously funny or fun to talk to. What you need to do if your not comfortable with yourself is completly change the way you look so you will view yourself as a different person. I recommend you as your reading this to go buy some hip, todays generation clothes. If you dont know whats hot today look online. Get a different haircut thats more trendy. Buy some jewelery like a nice watch, chain, or designer sunglasses. After you experience this transformation you will completly forget your old self and will view yourself as a ladies man. Now, for the hard and ballsy part. The hardest thing is to approach women and finding what to say. Lift weights. Dont ask just do it. Also just open convo's like hey i like your shoes or what you doing here byyourself. It will take alot of time and practice but once you overcome this fear you will become more condfident. I dont know what else to say but just do the things i said. Trust me.

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Learn from my mistake...If a girl is interested in you and your interested in her, get her number before you get drunk.

Just think.. No one there knows who you are.. they do not know you personally .. So maybe have a few drinks to loosen up.. think of one of your favorite movies and how cool the actor was in it, and think "that badass is me" and just go in there. Introduce yourself to a few people, jus tell them the truth, that your new around there and just looking to meet friends, say something like "oh thats a nice shirt you got there" . Something simple...

Try this, buy a drink and carry it with you, Hold it in your hand. It actually kinda builds up confidence in the club because when you walk around, you wont have to worry about what to do with your hands, since your holding a drink, you can just casually walk around.

Ive gone to a few clubs by myself when I couldnt find a wingman.. I just buy a drink, walk around and walk around dancing. Once you get to know a few people there, you can just go next time and say "hey remember me?"

But yah try holding a drink and walking around.

Just dont look like a dork, dress stylish

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Either her, or your hand.. its all up to you

Yeah dude don't think of yourself as Real Quite guy. Think of yourself as a confident person who always in a good attitude. Fake till you make it! Act as if youre confident. Then you see why you''re being confident. Be the The Alpha Male. Some body should hang out with you to take you sarging and teach you the you the basics of the game.

first of all, if you haven't read The Game, read it, it may inspire you and give you confidence like me. second, what i have been doing lately is appraching random people using different canned openers and also putting myself in positions where i normally would not put myself in. for example, i am on a college campus, and i made a decision to eat lunch and dinner alone, and force myself to sit with a group of two or three girls. if that is too much for you, try sitting with one. use an approach such as "need your opinion on if i should get my little sister goldfish or a turtle for her birthday" maintain eye contact with one person, make sure your voice is in tone, hum to yourself before you speak toget the pitch right. two or three girls, approach with the same opener and switch eye contact with both the girls while asking the question. i have been doing this for a good few days now, and i do not get numbers yet. it is a victory that i was actually able to sit down and maintain a conversation, whatever it be, and then leave. i do not even introduce myself at this point yet either because i am still learning. not introducing myself (unless they ask me my name of course) is good too because it makes it seem like you are genuine and u weren't there to just pick them up. once you can maintain a convo just try to be funny. say something stupid, anything it really doesn't matter you just have to learn what works and what doesn't. don't be afraid to fumble or be awkward at first but try to supress it andit will naturally leave your system. everything attempt or intention towards a pickup is a victory in my mind, it should be in yours too.


was a post i put up about a month ago. hope it helps.

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"You're so money and you don't even know it!"