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alright on an UPDATE
So I showed some interest in her, and she responded positively, I suggested we go out to clubs dancing again with a group of people we both know I let her make the plans though, like last time, it actually ended up being me and a friend from work, and about 6 girls including her, everyone from work or friends of friends and what not, 4 of the other girls i actually met that night and got some IOIs. So... i got of work late that night (12) bc i was working on a side project, and i was actually gonna cancel, but was convinced to go anyways. Now the whole night shes playing hard to get, when i talked to her, she would talk for a bit, but then cut off our convo and either "get distracted" by something else, or she would talk to someone else. In fact she actually started flirting with the other guy from work, touching his face and whatnot, but he showed his AFC self and she eventually gave up on him.
Later when we got to the club, she split from the group with her bff and they both started flirting with some guys... by this point i totally blew her off, and started dancing with the other girls and flirting with two that i found attractive... the crazy thing starts here, they other girls started acting kinda flaky, they start splitting and leaving and what not, eventually we decide to hit up another club, but HB (my target) and her friend are nowhere to be seen, so we leave them behind, however we text HB to tell her where we are going. We go to a near bar for a few mins, and then we start making way to the club. Now this is what threw me off, the (leader girl) tells me "ok since there is six of us we are taking a taxi there, but you guys walk there, we'll meet you there," and gives me her number...
Now by this point, between HB playing hard to get and these girls acting flaky i realize something is up... So me and guy from work walk to the club, but we dont go in yet, i call leader girl but she doesnt pick up, so i decide i dont wanna play their little game anymore and tell guy from work im gonna go home, that i have had enough, and we probably got ditched by the 4 girls... he decides to do the same
so, what do i think happened, i got set up, and played like a tool...
i get a text from HB asking me where i was at, and i dont reply till the next day, i tell her i decided to go home, bc i was tired from a long day... then i text leader girl apologizing for ditching them(just in case they DIDNT ditch us, besides, it turns things around if they did, bc it proves we didnt go to the club) either way it doesnt matter bc i dont plan on seeing leader girl and her friends anytime soon, they work at another one of the schools, didnt get a reply from anyone, but idc...
so learned a few things that night,
ONE, dont go out and let a group of girls make plans, LEAD THEM around and make them do what YOU want, kinda hard to do at this moment since ive only been in this city for 4 weeks but w/e...
TWO, be careful when introduced to a large group of HER drunk friends, if its too good to be true, it probably is... (although one of them was giving me legit IOIs)
THREE, HB9 is playing hard to get, which means shes still interested but going cold, so....
What am I gonna do when i come into work tom? im think im gonna friend-zone HB9 hard, focus on being awesome, and place my attention on other girls. If HB9 is really interested, she will work hard to get my attention (which i think she will). In fact im gonna do the same to her as i do to my roommate, im gonna use her for advice in my love/sex life, which is causing my rommie to fall for me from what i can tell. Not only that, but it will show her my human side, which should remove any doubts she may have about me being a cold-hearted player.
Im gonna talk to her SPAM (the guy who told me she fancied me the first night) and im gonna straight up ask him why HB9 is no longer interested, and use him to make it clear (in an innocent way) that HB9 is friend-zoned, being gay, he WILL tell her, so that should speed up things...
So what do you guys think? about the whole situation, her actions, the actions im about to take? i dont think im left with many options other than this and confronting her about it, and the latter is kinda AFC.
It's funny, a lot of the mPUAs of this world recommend even to newbies that they should invite girls they want to game out to clubs with them on the weekend. Now, the problem with this is that, if they don't flake in the first place (a likelihood for a weekend invite with a girl you've just met), you're setting yourself up for so many problems. Firstly, you now have to be basically the most awesome guy in that entire club. You have to make sure you are entertaining the whole group all night. You have to sort out your first venue, ensure that everyone's gonna get in, whether you've arranged guestlist or whatever, and during the night you have to juggle a lot of complex social variables relating to all the various friends/AMOGs/cockblocks that either come along or might end up as part of the interaction. Then you have to have all your logistics figured out, from a range of possible bounce locations (and transportation thereto) through to isolating your target and getting her home with you.
Now, if you go to a lot of clubs, know promoters and owners, and really enjoy being in them, love the music, and always have a great time, then this is a great strategy. However I would imagine that guys who already have this lifestyle are already interacting with high value women regularly and thus would not necessarily require the advice on this forum.
This is why I would always recommend a day 2 to be just you and her, at range of 2-3 venues where you can control as many variables as possible. Of course, she could run into her ex at the coffee shop, but that's quite unlikely. The difference is that when you invite her out to a club, the focus of the evening is not solely on you and her, and therefore it's not only socially acceptable but pretty likely that she's gonna go off an have a dance, go for a smoke, chat to her friends, etc. all not necessarily with YOU at all times. In fact, if you end up following her around the club then your value will plummet and you will lose attraction rapidly.
When you're at the coffee shop, or at the tapas place, or the games arcade, or at the chilled out lounge bar, or whatever, the interaction is just YOU and HER. You don't have to be any more awesome than anybody else, you don't have to work for her attention, you don't have to make friends with anyone else, and you have her isolated the entire time. Doesn't that sound a lot easier? Plus, you can invite her to do this on a weekday when she's far more likely to say YES.
The club situation is more appropriate for going with a mixed set (or only women if you prefer) of FRIENDS who you don't game, and spend the evening having fun with them, dancing around, and then breaking off and opening sets. You raise your value in this way, and even if you get blown out, you go straight back to your core group and are never seen in the club not having fun or without at least one girl in front of you talking or dancing.
To the OP, you got friendzoned by your target and blown off by her friends because you were not high value enough in their eyes in the club setting. You lost points for not being the guy organising everything, and the friends were like "why exactly are we hanging out with this guy" because you provided no value. If you at least organise stuff or help get them in or pay less, then you've got a value spike to work with, but you still have to be "on" the whole night, be super fun and make them all have a great time with you, otherwise they will ditch you and find guys who are more fun, simple.
An easy way to take pressure of yourself so that you don't have to be going a mile a minute with the jokes and the banter, is to go round and game the venue, and then return to the core group if you get blown out. That way they automatically see you as social and fun, and may assume you actually know those other people. Even better is to get a sense of the guys and girls that might be your cockblocks and try and distract them in the best possible way by getting them laid! A way to facilitate this: let's say you have a male cockblock in your group. Open a 2-set, game them, and if things start to go well, grab them and introduce them to your cockblock ("hey this is my friend X he's a fucking awesome guy he actually once karate kicked Jesus so hard the universe imploded...no, seriously!"). Introduce the obstacle of your 2-set last, and then whilst they're making introductions, shift your attention to your target, game her and then isolate whilst her friend is distracting your cockblock. You've just neutralised 2 possible obstacles and the guy will love you for helping him get some ass - pretty sweet huh? If you can't see how much easier this is to do with female cockblocks, then I refuse to draw you a diagram you wouldn't be able to read anyway
CHAT
