My gf and I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now and I really do love her! she is my first "love" and I could see my self married to her but recently I find my self really bored in the relationship, I also think this is causing me to get really annoyed with her and resentful!

I also have found my self looking at other women which of course is natural for all men but it seems to be happening alot more then before....Im at a cross roads because I love my gf to death! and she really is an awsome girl! but the spark just isnt what it was.

I have thought what it would be like to break up with her but I think I would regret it...iduno im just stuck in a rut right now. p.s we live togeather and spend alot of time with each other so Im sure that doesnt help.

I would usually say: Try spending some time apart. But now that you mention you guys live together, it seems to be difficult to do so.

Try maybe figuring out how the spark got there in the first place, and go from there. Maybe you've started taking each other for granted and just don't do fun stuff together anymore.

Same old daily routines with a gf can sure kill the fun in the relationship.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Yeah I think I need more time to my self...time with the guys. I dont see my friends nearly as much as I did before we dated and she never hangs out with hers! I think I might let her know that I need more "guy time" and it would be good for her to get out with her girls.

I would also like to know what you did on this case.
I've been with my girl for 7 months (its the longest I've ever been on a relationship) and I feel like sometimes I'm bored with this ... I love her, I really do, shes so fucking smart ... and gorgeous. But sometimes I feel like not seeing her and I have to (shes at my school) ... I like being with her, but I think the routine of school and seeing her everyday kills some of the spark.

is it that the sex has got boring or just that everyday life is boring or both?

first off i think you should discuss this with her, tactfully, she may be feeling the same way - better to get it out in the open than get resentful - you dont have to put any blame on her, just say something like 'we always seem to do the same things, we need a bit of excitement injecting...what do you think hun?'

also let her know how much you appreciate her - remind yourself of all the reasons why you love her and why she is so awesome

i think we invest a lot (of time effort and money) in our early relationships to make them work but then once we have got our girl/man, we let that effort slide a bit - its easy to do without realising

do you still go on 'dates' like you used to? if not then date nights can be a fun thing to do

plan a surprise sexy romantic weekend - plus you can make it a regular thing too, it doesnt just have to be a one off thing - try a different city every month or so - take turns planning where to go so both of you gets surprised every other time - if need be book the time off work in advance to so that it doesnt become one of those things that just doesnt happen cos life gets in the way

go out together and buy some new sexy lingerie or toys and candles and ...well you know the rest

think about what you have both always fancied doing but never done - both in the bedroom and out of it - make a list together and work your way through it - big and small things - go to a totally different restaurant than you usually go to, have a flying lesson, make a list of movies you want to watch, bungy jumping, go to a concert or play, go to paris, go on a picnic, learn to ski, go watch a comedy club act, visti a museum, rollerblading....

you both need to get out more separately - if she never goes out with her gf's any more that might be more tricky for her to start doing that - maybe her gf's have got blokes or babies or ..... we ladies tend to need to arrange these things a bit more then men do....is there an activity that you could both do together that would help her extend her social circle of female friends who she could then engage with without you needing to be there

just a thought, since you mentioned 'being married', when people get to this stage in a relationship when they feel like 'its not going anywhere' this is often the time when they start considering getting married, as if by doing that suddenly everything will be better, a word of caution...it won't

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James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Ariana... you basically took the words out of my mouth and said them yourself.
See... thats what I think its the biggest problem in both of our relationships: the routine. Dark one, mentions they live together, and me.. well, we don't live together but I have to see her everyday at school. And even though I try to avoid routine, in modern life its almost impossible. We all have schedules to follow, whether its a school schedule followed by a work schedule or anything else, most of us have our day planned. I know that monday I will go to school, then I will go to work until somewhere around 7 or 8 pm.. So I'm out of my house most of the day. I get home at 8 pm and don't feel like doing anything else than watch TV, watch my girlfriend or go to sleep.
You make some good suggestions, doing things out of the ordinary can spark it up again, yes at the beginning we make the most effort. Even then, I was eager to see her everyday, at night all I wanted to do was sleep to see her again. Now, almost 8 months before, sometimes I really don't want to see her the next day at school, or I am not as eager.
As of this week though I'm gonna start to try out new things, and by new things I don't exactly mean a trip to Paris ... If I could leave my work unattended I would. BUt for example this weekend I rented a hotel room to stay there all weekend... At least it should be different than the normal weekend stuff. I am also thinking of surprising her with some erotic game I saw at a bookstore, I am intrigued to buy it and try it out on the bed.
You also make a point where you say "is it that the sex got boring or just that everyday life is boring or both?" ...
I'd like to get some advice on this. Our sex life, I don't know is maybe ... semi active?? We have sex 1.. 2 or sometimes 3 times a week. Whenever no one is home, or sometimes at the car, some oral sex here and now. I still know I get laid more than any of my friends I know.. I remember hearing a guy said "OH I got a BJ yesterday" and a friend " Oh you lucky bastard" and thinking I get that often...
But it could also be I am a little unsatisfied sexually ... I've read that man infidelities are caused by lack of sexual satisfaction and women infidelities is caused by lack of emotional satisfaction. And I've had the thoughts, Ive seen girls walk by and sometimes I want to go by and just screw her without even knowing her name. So maybe why I feel like this is because of lack of sexual satisfaction.
What do you think here Ariana ??

Adilinar, i agree its impossible to avoid routine altogether, but we can notice when it is ruling us, and try to find ways to shake things up a bit, its not always necessary, sometimes we are boring, there are things we cant change, and there are things we can

we all want things we cant have, then as soon as we have them, we take them for granted, yes including bj's i constantly remind myself how lucky i am to have my bf, i never want him to think i take him for granted, (maybe its cos he is in the army and i cant have him whenever i want) anyway i know how wonderful he is, one in a million, but even if you have a great sex life it pays to spice it up a bit now and again and not get into a rut

i think if you are unsatisfied sexually, honesty is the key, talk about it, encourage her to be open and discuss fantasies without judgement, say what you want and listen to what she wants, be patient - sex can be predictable, and that can even be comforting sometimes, but it doesnt have to be...surely you dont need me to tell you what to do

anyway i think we shud all try something fun and different and a bit kinky at least one weekend a month - what is the worst that can happen?

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Ariana, I don't really think I'm sexually not satisfied, I am young, 20 years old, and I've haven't had many sex partners ... The only ones that I've had basically gave it up within the first month of dating, and that made me break up with them. I didn't had sex with my current girlfriend until we were like 2 months into the relationship, and it never bothered me, I pride myself in not being a sexual "addict"... I do enjoy sex and I love it, just not as much as I enjoy doing other things.
Mostly, the problem here is the routine of seeing each other everyday at school, vacations are soon to come and I know that will help me.
Sometimes, as you say, I may think of the relationship already stable ... I love her, and I can see myself with her in the future together, after finishing school ... But who knows, life takes a lot of turns ... maybe tommorow things change and I can't ever see her again, or maybe I end up marrying her and living together. I would like to be with her in marriage, but who knows.
I haven't had a lot of sexual partners, but I sure have dated a lot of girls ... In 3 months I used to date more girls than my friends did in a year, not sexually but I could have had sex with all of them if I wanted to.
Maybe its a fantasy of me, you know how both men and women fantasize about having sex with a stranger...
I just hope that this vacations and some time apart can work for me... Its not a problem of both here, if it can be categorized as a "problem" ... I just find myself stuck in and endless routine circle ...

Try telling her you love her but need a bit of space, u just want to hang out with your friends and she should too.