Ok i know this is messed up but please lemme know what i can do.....
long time friend of mine LJBF me when im AFC
I learn PUA stuff and over months get her attracted
we eventually go out drinking and have sex, this has happened twice, and loads of other 'non dates'
I have severe ontitis but still managed get up to this point
I dont tell her i want to be exclusive with her but i do, cus thats her job to decide (plus got friend zoned by her ages ago when i last admitted how i felt)

So we see each other every weekend for 3 weekends, and had sex on 2 of them. Then the next weekend she goes birmingham see her friend, no problem. We carry on exchanging texts but not as often and we're both busy again this weekend. I manage find a time slot to see her on friday, but then flake on her because i sensed she would flake first (plus genuinely couldnt see her)

I text her earlier saying that Im busy bla bla bla get in touch soon (about to start a freeze out) and later i get this...

'Hey hun ah thts kewl hun dunna wurry we'll hang out sum otha tym woop! Listen hun I got asked out for a drink last nyt n myt c him agen want tell ya..cause of what's happened between us xx'

Im fuckin destroyed. Ive gone from a total AFC just to get with her and things were goin well even thought i sensed I was still doin most of the chasing. I know what not to say to her text to keep attraction, but not what i should say or do. im thinking date around myself but how do I make her not think im makin her jealous on purpose?

We have loads of 'in jokes' cus like i say we have been friends for ages just lately things have gotten sexual. I do not wanna lose this special one to sum prick but don't know what to do. Im sure I can arrange dates etc but i defintitly do not feel the same way fo rthese other girls that like me.

Where do i go form here? friend zoned, then friendly friends, and now shes meetin another guy for drinks but i want her so bad! Im not giving up i just need some advice, my mates here are all chumps so ive not said anything to them. How do i reply???

Also maybe worth mentioning that last weekend while i was out i managed talk a girl who likes to to come over to my new flat when ive moved in for a dvd n a meal, but again this is just me trying to keep options open and having back up girls. i really want this other one though but dont know what to do from here

personally id reply:

"No worries (similar but not her name) xx"

Just dont act needy mate obviously you really really want her, but you must resist the temptation to jump through hoops for her, be strong I know how fucking hard it can be!

Let me tell you one thing. During my short life so far there's one thing I have learned. Special girls are not rare. You can meet a special girl once every few months.

I don't want to sound like somebody who's only after sex, but fact is that you already had sex with her. I don't think you're going to be able to get into a solid relationship with your current skills. I think the best thing that you can do would be to send her a text, tell her that it's fine. Tell her you've been seeing somebody else as well.

Actually the best thing might actually be to back off right now. If you show her that you start losing interest quickly and date other people as well, she will get jealous instead. In any case, leave her be for now and let her now that explicitly. In fact, maybe you should do one step back further and tell her that you don't think you two are going to work out together. Don't explain, make is as short as anyhow possible. Then freeze her out for a week or two, don't text her at all. See if she texts you first. This would be my message:

"Don't sweat it, I'm meeting other people as well. I knew you'd be cool with that. Actually to be honest I don't think it will work out between us. I'd like to be just friends." That way you're LJBFing her. And then freeze her out.

EDIT: Hah, the name thing is gold. I'm gonna use that one myself.
Make sure to type a wrong name into the message.

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I'd reply:
"k, have fun... " nothing else. That would get her thinking.

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I wouldn't reply to that at all.

You're not looking for something exclusive, neither is she. What's the big deal? You should just assume any girl you're seeing non-exclusively is seeing at least 2-3 other guys. Continue gaming other girls as normal and don't sweat it. As long as you're having fun together, keep doing it. If she tries to make you jealous by mentioning other guys, just say "listen, how about you don't tell me about other guys you're seeing and I won't tell you about anyone else I'm seeing, and we just enjoy each other when we do see each other, ok?" then just change the subject.

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Hi thanks for all the help you guys. From what i can gather i'm thinking along the lines of

'hey no worries . good to know ur bein honest, i met someone last week as it goes whos hinting for an answer. I knew youd be cool with it. I dnt know if u n me wud work honestly so i think we shud just be friends. Good luck x'

Thing is Blondguy I DO actually want to be exclusive with her. How does this sound to u guys for a reply? Of course Im taking my sweet time with it, got other shit to do after all!

I both like and hate the way you by far, more eloquently express the same points of view

I agree that if he didn't want to be exclusive, a very short non-caring answer or no answer would be the best. "Good for you." xD

2gaz2, I think you should stick to a simple answer that doesn't convey any interest but more something like a complete lack of neediness. How do you like this one? "Good for you. I met somebody as well. I knew you'd be cool with that. She's cool, you have to meet her. Catch you later." It's shorter and comes off stronger (and you can leave out the "She's cool, you have to meet her." if you want). You can LJBF her another time. That way she will get a feeling that she's losing you over time.

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Just a quick update. So i waited until later that night and text her 'Heeey sweetiepud! No worries glad u wanna be honest! As it goes I met sum1 last week n shes hintin for am answer. I knew ud be cool with it. I dnt think we'd work but were gr8 to be just friends huni. Gud luck x'

On withthe freeze out. Later the next morning I get a text back saying, 'Hey huni pud!!! Ah thts great news my love go n giv it a go!!! She b a lucky gal! Aw hun I totally agree but u no i love u so much as my best friend n wudnt wanna lose that, cant wait for our next adventure x'

I take it im right not to reply and carry on the freeze out? When i got friend zoned first time it took ages to gain attraction but then after havin sex I think i started intiating contact too often hoping shed not think i was using her and that i wanted something more. this might be where i blew it. But now im wandering where do i go from here? I will look through the forums about freeze outs but what do i do when she gets in touch?

Im thinking just have a brill time with evrything and only let her know if she asks, and also tell her this other girls really cool she shud meet her sum time. Also wud it be worth saying if it comes up that either a) me n u wudnt work because were after different things, i personally dont want to date around and i like being exclusiv. Or b) me and (other girl) are really hitting it off shes really cool, best part is were after the same thing n thats knowing where we stand in a relationship.

When she gets in touch and wants to hang out, do i say yeah straight away or do i get her to set a date but only do things when it suites me (change the day etc)?

When she gets in touch, follow a simple rule. If she is asking a question, answer as short as possible. Don't answer it right away, answer it the next day. If she asks "Hey, what are you doing? I've been up to blablabla", then you reply "I just got back from X. Can't talk now. Catch you later." or even better something shorter like "I'm having dinner." You don't even have to reply to every text. You can even ignore all texts. Depends on how you feel about it.

If she wants to hang out, you should definitely stick to your own schedule. Whatever time and date she gives, don't accept it, suggest one yourself. I think you should be brutal in following this guideline this time with this girl.

As the situation is standing now, you are pushing her into the friends zone and she won't want to be exclusive so soon. When you meet her the next time, you should be playful and sexual (not too much, but just enough to have her wanting more). You should mess with her how she can't have you now. Make her feel how it sucks to be in the friends zone.
Anyway, if she suggests that you should be dating again or something happens between you two again and she wants to be exclusive with you, tell her that you need to think about it first. Then give her an answer later. You can hit it off with the other girl in the meantime without problems.

BTW, I don't think you should tell her any more about the other girl, except if she asks. I like to let my girls know that there are others around, but I don't like telling them any details. It sucks to be compared to somebody else in relationships. Just like blondguy said, I don't care about the other people she is dating so I'm not going to bother her with my other people.

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Hey thanks for the reply B-fusion. I agree with what your saying simply because this is the kind of behaviour my friend acts like naturally and he's the only one of my mates who has choices with women (i need a good wing/or naturals as mates...i know!)

Im totally going and doing what youve said and also indirectly DHV/show im livin it up via facebook or other ways where she'll probly get wind of it (a few friends in common).

Well as it goes after she text me that, I didnt reply, so after the weekend monday morning comes and Im staying strong but thinkin about her still...and i get a lil text! 'Hey huni hws it goin!! Hws the new pad!! Xx' I moved into a flat over the weekend. I didnt reply to this. So then this afternoon Ive had another one 'Hey pud u ok? Did u get my txt yest? X'

Will probably reply to this but just be like 'sorry a didnt realise u txt me b4! Its ace yeah well chuffed x'

Im real broke rite now but gonna try get a few numbers over the weekend....meeting this other girl wont be for another couple of weeks yet. Any other suggestions on where to go from here would be great. I can imagine her asking if evrythins ok between us two with the change of tone suddenly....but, i am busy after all

Yeah, being busy is the best thing you can do now. Check your other options. Don't worry about your feelings for this girl. They will slowly fade more and more. Don't let your emotions control you and dictate your life. Be aware that your emotions are trying to get you to do things that might not be the best thing for you to do in the long run.

You could reply a bit later to her something like "I've been busy and couldn't get back to you. Yeah, I'm ok." It also kind of establishes an unusual tone. After all, you had time to type the SMS, why didn't you type some more? This will make her wonder if she's losing you. Then at one point text her or call her for a meeting and continue working on her. I think this could work out well. It's a hot-cold dynamic and you just need to calibrate it properly so you seem to be neither too much into her nor too disinterested.

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