| Ay,
So I'm still kind of new to this forum. Broke up with a longtime girlfriend a few months ago and figured it wouldn't hurt to learn some aspects of 'the game' to help me now that I'm a single man once more.
Things have gone well and I've had plenty of hookups from social circle and a couple of club-pulled F-closes. I would have considered myself a natural before my ltr but got a bit AFC, and even as a natural I made a lot of obvious mistakes which, having learned what I now have, I can look back upon and laugh. It feels good to be able to see all the nuances to social interactions with women (and everybody really) whether as before I just kind of guessed either "this chick digs me," or "this chick is not interested."
That being said, I find that the reason a lot of "game" strategies work is because they get at the "irrational" aspects of the dating game, the really important things that my fairly logical mind always chose to ignore because I couldn't believe women really made decisions based on things as stupid as ASD or whatever. Years spent in an LTR with an EXTREMELY irrational girl and my last few months in the field have made me realize how much this stuff really affects the way people interact.
But now I'm in quite a different situation. I've started dating a girl who is one of the most rational human beings I have ever met. I've met her years ago when we were freshmen at Uni and there was always an attraction, but one of us was always in a relationship, and then one of my best friend had a HUGE, unrequited crush on her for years. Now all such obstacles are removed and she is living forty-five minutes down the road again and so we're giving it a go. I've never "gamed" her in any way. She's known me for a long time and has always liked what she's seen. That's about it.
So the thing is, I am very attracted by her ability to make most of her decisions based on a logical breakdown of the facts, but I am just not used to being with someone whose got their shit so clearly figured out. Weird thing to complain about huh?
On the one hand, it's fantastic dating someone who has no expectations of monogamy when we live in different towns and only see each other occasionally. It's great dating someone who will never start an argument with me without first considering if the fight is worth having, or if whatever negative feeling she is having is something that would seem hypocritical or irrational. It's awesome dating someone who has very clear career goals and is working extremely hard to achieve them.
On the other hand, it's hard dating someone who would never do something crazy like drive over to see me in the middle of the night because she misses me. It's difficult being with someone who schedules our phone calls out in advance because she knows she wants to be able to speak for a certain amount of time and on Monday the best time for that will be between 5.30pm and 6.30pm and that will allow her to work on a paper during all her other breaks. And it's kind of strange having a relationship with someone who openly tells you that she's going to come visit you for the evening but will be leaving at some point in the night because she has a movie she wants to watch and she wants to watch it alone because that's how she watches that sort of movie.
Now I'm kind of making her sound like an emotionless robot, and that's not really the case. She's very affectionate and loving and clearly has a hard time leaving me to go study or work, etc. But she'll make the sensible choice every time. Really, she's more like a guy. A guy who is completely honest about what he's thinking at all times. The first time she told me "I want to watch that movie by myself" I instantly thought "wow, I've felt that way alllllll the time while dating other girls, but it never occurred to me to actually TELL them that."
Much as we all complain about how irrational women are, I think a lot of guys on here will admit that learning how to do deal with that the RIGHT way is part of the satisfaction we enjoy as men who know how to interact successfully with women. So it's very strange to have that aspect of the interaction taken out of my dealings with this girl. What do you do with a girl who doesn't fit into the rules those of us who have studied the game have come to understand?
I guess I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here. I like this girl quite a lot and I am still totally free to game other girls in the meantime. Much as I might enjoy the feeling of having a girl who is obsessed with me and will do anything for me, I know that in the longterm such situations have brought me nothing but annoyance. On the other hand I am a man and I like challenge. Most healthy or fun relationships I've seen have had always had small, surmountable challenges that have popped up here and there and kept things interesting.
But there are no short-term challenges with this girl. She likes me as much as I want her to, and is never going to waste time on drama or "lovers tiffs". On the other hand there is this huge challenge that I don't even want to take on: that of getting her to act irrationally once in a while. For one thing, it would be impossible, and for another, even if it were doable why would I want that? Why try and take away the very thing I respect her for the most?
Anyway, that's my ramble. I guess I'd really just like to hear if anyone else has encountered a similar situation and how it worked out for them.
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CHAT