so the situation is me,my GF and one our "friend" (girl) are visitng same college, we are classmates we all travel together,spend time together in the city while we have pauses between lectures

but somehow my GF likes to spend more time with this girl than with me they are always together and i am just like 3rd person, she pays more attention to her

for example like week ago we had 1 hour pause and i went to shop and noone went with me,after i came back that girl also wanted something from shop, i didnt go but my girlfriend did with her
same day i sat to the to bus to place for 2 people and my GF with that friend went to 5 when i asked her why she didnt sit next to me she answered "and why you didnt sit to 5 i wanted to sit with you both"

or we were in restaurant we payed our bill and that girl started to smoke another cigarette i went out since i hate smoke but my GF stayed with her and when they came out they were like nothing happened

we argued about this many times and my GF is just wondering whats wrong and when i tell her "why dont you come with me but with your friend" she answers "and what should I tell her shall i leave her alone and go just with you?" then i go alone and they together lol

she is paying me low attention doesnt even want to give me a kiss in front of that girl

so how to learn my GF of 7 months to spend more time with me and not with that girl?

Look, chances are she has been friends with this girl before you two were a couple, and they will remain friends long after you break up (if it happens) ...
I know how you feel, sometimes at school I have this same issue happening, its how girls roll. If they're friends, one won't leave the other and viceversa, unlike us. Why do they go to the bathroom together is a clear example of this, of course she's not gonna leave her friend alone, and don't look at it like she prefers her than you, its just a different sort of relationship. Shopping, gossiping are two of a girls favorite hobbies, and to be honest she can't do that in all comfort with you, because we don't "get it" ... even if I offer my girlfriend to buy something for her, she will come, but it won't be the same as shopping with her mom or her friend, and its not the same talking gossip with a boyfriend than with a girl friend.
Just understand her, and picture this:
Last week a lot of friends from school went on a trip, and at some point girls and guys separated because they wanted one thing and we wanted another... so now its 5 guys and 6 girls going on their own, 3 of our girlfriends went with the female group (Yes we separated!)
So with the male group we were talking about girls, and certain specific girl "Yeah she has a hot body but she wears make up like a clown, or yeah this girl is nice etc... "
And one of the guys says "Isnt it nice to talk between guys about this shit, I mean normally we don't talk about this with our girls" ... So you get it ?? Its not the same. Understand.

well i forgot to add one thing they havent been friends before we were all visiting same high school but back there they didnt even like eachother
but looks like on this school they dont know anyone so even bad friend is better than be alone

even when i am alone with my GF she doesnt talk about her like friend but just like classmate

Dude, stop making a fuse about this subject, Adilinar gave u a perfect description of what going on btw your girl and her friend. If they dont like each other earlier, chance is that they have come to discover they could be good friends, women like rolling with women just like guys like rolling with guys. When she is thru with their gossiping and girls talk she will come back to u. This is how insecurity begins, so quit this habit of trying to keep a girl prisoner with u, let her have her friends like u have yours. If u look at this issue you and your girlfriend are a team and she trying to make her friend feel comfortable in your midst.

peace and out.

ye and i am also thankfull for it
but anyway if we split up how should i act since we are attending same school and even travel together i simply just cant delete her from my life so it wont be easy :/

Why would you have to break up? You're just making this bigger than what it is: NOTHING. She just likes to hang with her friend as you like to hang with yours. If it really bothers you, don't argue with her, just tell in a calm way ...
You don't need to break up with her over this. You and I are exactly on the same boat, my GF of 7 months attends to the same classes at the same school I do, and sometimes she pays more attention to our friend than to me, her girl friend, and I get it, I know they like to tell things about people, about guys "OMG HIs shoes are gross, oh blah blah" and she doesn't feel comfortable saying that with you.
And you have to understand, her life can't circle around you the whole time. Ask her out on the evening, or go to dinner, or to the mall when you're not at school, you also shouldn't depend on it to be a school relationship only : )

why does this threaten you? what are you scared of?

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Adilinar she is not a type of girl who likes to hang out she doesnt even have a real friend to who she could trust.
I already told her its bothering me but everytime it ended up arguing over it, if I go myself somewhere and they go together then she starts "why didnt you come with us?you always want something else than us!you always want something different!everytime we have to do just what you want!and blah blah" then she gets mad and waits for apologize
so if i go with them she doesnt pay me attention if I dont she starts arguing and worse is they are always 2 VS 1 so i can be never right :/


Ariana thats a good question because she isnt lesbian, atleast i hope so
I am not scared of anything but i just dont like the fact that she pays more attention to someone who she didnt like and shittalked before. and like 2 weeks ago she already lied me just for good of that friend and i am not used to have lies in relationship

i suspect if you have a conversation about her friend you will not get anywhere and she will just get defensive over her friend and accuse you of not trusting her and you will sound needy and clingy
you could instead have a mature conversation about the importance of honesty and trust between two people in a relationship? but first of all you must have this 'conversation' with yourself since you are the one with the trust issue. The reason you must look inside yourself is since whatever she says and does, ultimately you have to choose whether you trust her or not, she shouldnt have to alter her behaviour so that you 'can' trust her - if you attempt to get her to do this, it is likely not to work in the long run, as you will never really believe she actually 'has' altered her behaviour if you dont trust her in the first place.

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

I hope they are secret lesbians!

its kinda funny cos i never mentioned the word....i just said what are you scared of?

anyway i re-read this post:
she is not a type of girl who likes to hang out - what does that mean? is she shy? does she not have a big social circle? if so, a lot of what i have mentioned below makes more sense

she doesnt even have a real friend to who she could trust - this might be the big crux of the issue - maybe she hasnt had many real gf's and she really wants to have one that she can confide in and do girly stuff with and give her advice about your relationship

I already told her its bothering me but everytime it ended up arguing over it,
- remember a person cant have an argument with themselves, it takes two people, one of them is you. instead of 'arguing' over who is right and who is wrong, tell her how you feel (tricky) and ask her how she feels - remember both of your feelings are valid - the question is how you can both get past them and feel better in these situations - do not argue, discuss, and ensure this is a private conversation between the two of you without her friend there

if I go myself somewhere and they go together then she starts "why didnt you come with us? - tell her its healthy for two people in a relationship to spend some time apart doing their own thing

you always want something else than us/something different! do you always want to do something different than they want to do? is 'always' a fair word for her to use when saying what 'you' want compared to what 'they want'?

everytime we have to do just what you want!and blah blah" is it true that when you go out, its always you that chooses where you go?? if so, why dont you just agree to take equal turns deciding - or if you both really hate going to the places each other likes to go, maybe you are both just not suited to each other because you dont have the same interests in common.....?

then she gets mad and waits for apologize
so if i go with them she doesnt pay me attention - do you make it very obvious you dont really want to be 'there'

if I dont she starts arguing and worse is they are always 2 VS 1 so i can be never right :/

ok , so if you both have a calm non-accusatory discussion about both your 'feelings' - remember not arguing about who is right and who is wrong - it sounds like she is going to say 'she feels like you always make the decisions about where you both go on dates and that the only way she can have a say in where you go, is to bring moral support in the form of a friend who sticks up for her. she may feel a lack of confidence in sticking up for herself when there is only the two of you and may feel that you overrule her. She may feel that some parts of the relationship could be 'fairer' and more equal. This may be why she feels she has to balance it out by bringing a friend along as reinforcements (hence its 2v1).
Question: if its 1v1, are you always the winner in the argument?? are you always 'right'?? - does that make her always 'wrong'?
She may feel that she has to 'get mad' (people usually get mad/angry when they are fearful of something), or start an argument just to be heard or to make her point to you, and get you to listen to her point of view.
At this point you can also tell her how you felt when you were lied to? Thats of course not a good thing at all, but i wonder why she lied to you? was she afraid of your reaction if she told you the truth?????

hey i am just guessing here - you need to listen to her

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

she isnt really shy and no she doesnt have a big social circle she even told me to girls she cant trust because they always tell her secrets to some else and her best friends are mostly males

i dont think so because so she paranoid or something like this even if some her friends give her advice about relationships she thinks they just want us to break up so they can be happy. she hates so much when someone talks about her relationship,she talks about relationship only with parents

about this arguing you are right maybe i was doing mistake


no always isnt fair word for this i even went shopping clothes with them or to drugstore but when i went to electronics shop they didnt care about me


no even if its 1 VS 1 i am never right maybe i was once or twice

and about this lie:
once that girl asked my GF to do her homework and she did it that made me mad cause we are on college and she cant do even a homework?even my GF was mad but she did it cuase she felt sorry for that girl and she PROMISED me she will never do it again. 2 weeks later she again did it it was their secret but i found out about this i asked her like 5 times if she didnt do it she said no. i was ok with it untill we again argued and i came up with it

i know its just a homework but the point is she promised me something she broke this promise and even lied to me about it just for good of her friend

sounds like there is a lot of 'getting mad' being done by everyone

i think you could be one of those guys who refuses to get into silly arguments; instead be a bit more chilled out - dont get drawn into her and her friends dramatics - if she 'gets mad' tell her to call you when she's calmed down and then just walk away if you stop reacting she will stop doing it.
dont trail round after her in girls clothes shops if she isnt happy to trail round your shops, when she is doing clothes, you go do your electronics thing then you both happy and can meet up later to do something you both enjoy - hopefully there is something you both like doing together??? if not, there may be something more intrinsically wrong with your relationship

if you dont want your gf to lie to you about stuff , dont get her to make promises about stuff that is her business not yours - its up to her if she is silly enough to do someone elses homework!

finally, relationships are supposed to be enjoyable for the people in them - if you (or she) are not happy then perhaps she isnt the 'one'

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

except spending time together i dont think there is anything else we like to do together
she likes to stay at home 24/7 didnt even want to go with me to swimming pool in summer she always came up with some excuse so its hard to get her somewhere except coffee-bar which i dont enjoy

maybe she really isnt the one thanks for helping me out I appreciate it