Lol hey guys, just thought I'd give you a little more insight into my shit life so far. Basically, for some reason or another I have absolutely no self belief or confidence, whenever I try to show a little backbone I feel like I'm being watched or judged (not just when talking to women). Whenever I say anything I feel it's weak at best, I get a rush of adrenaline most of the time whenever I speak up in a situation and after I've spoken I feel judged and intimidated, as well as completely foolish for every word I've said. Because of this self doubt I blush a LOT. I'm not talking general blushing, any situation which feels threatening makes me swell up like a tomato, it's awful, which is why I'm not a fan of house parties or large social gatherings. I always feel stupid for talking, and usually because I get stumped with what to say, I just get completely flummoxed with what to say and I end up standing next to a girl saying fuck all - I feel like a tool (as we all do in those situations). When I'm in that situation I just think "you're saying nothing, think of something to say" but I never do. I hate it, and the stupid thing is I'm a well spoken person by profession - radio presenter (unemployed at present). In the studio I'm confident and loud because I'm alone and nobody can respond to what I say, I don't feel judged at all, in fact I often get females emailing in because they like my voice.

Sometimes when at clubs, if I meet a girl I can get nice and confident after like 10 minutes of talking to a girl and that's all good, it never goes very far though, and soon after I'm in the friend zone. If I'm not in the friend zone, girls just get with me for a short while because they're bored of their boyfriends and just want a bit of fun, then when I'm emotionally invested they get bored and drop me (it's happened a lot over the last few years). I've put my own morals and consideration for their boyfriends in front of my want to get laid for too long now, and I'm the one who always gets burned. Yeah, I'm fully aware I'm an AFC and I also have severe Nice Guy syndrome. I have anxiety due to a social phobia too, which doesn't help, which also stops me drinking and therefore people are usually patronising and see me as less interesting because I'm not a drinker like them.

Just for the record, when it comes to relationships it's a totally different story - I'm trusting and all the stuff I should be, but at the moment I'm beyond the relationship wanting stage after all these girls fucking about with me, and here I am now, trying to learn a new approach.

Another general issue with me is that I'm thin and I have a babyface, so I feel generally unconfident in girls taking me seriously. I'm 22 but no girl has ever put me older than 18 when guessing my age, which should be flattering but I find it really annoying.

To show the extent of my lack of self belief, I'm already doubting what I said at the beginning of this post and considering what you guys are already thinking of me, and it sucks.

Anyway, that's me.
Reno

It's good that you wrote here and no, we are not judging you. I have very huge approaching fear so I really can't help you.

hi bro i'm kind of new here so i trust someone more expert than me can help

anyway my advices

work on your inner game see (read books, do meditation ecc) check the sticky thread in this forum

do newbie missions, like the one that u go to a mall and say hi to everybody

i do sometimes also 18 Degrees Of Social Freedom by Bradp that is cool and a lot of fun

talk to everybody ask time ask indications ecc

reframe your AA (approach anxiety with AE approach excitement) check this link by Rye Lee

approach-anticipation-excitement-vt35880.html

u could read how to become an alpha male by jhon alexander it helped me a lot

and stuff like that

"this is My reality and you are a guest" credit to David de Angelo"

hope this can help

_________________
terencehill

BLESS THE PRESENT
TRUST YOURSELF
EXPECT THE BEST

the best way to avoid failure is to see it as a feedback

Im usually full of shite so take anything I say with a pinch of salt

You only live once, in 1000 years no one will know who the fuck you are, care that you got self concious, what you did with your life or about the one time you got caught humping one of those fake silcone vaginas by your mum - your unlikely to even be a footnote in history so seize the day and go balls deep and stop being so fecking self concious!

Stop over thinking shit dont attach any outcome to any socialising situation just have fun and a bit of random silly banter, nurture your confidence plant, if your getting fucked over by LTRS id say avoid them like the plague until you get yourself grounded.

the fact that you work at the radio means you must have a great voice, which means the only problem is your inner game.

for your case, you can try a bit on nlp here, when you walk to a set, imagine you're interviewing them in the studio, imagine them having those over-sized headphones which makes them look silly, every time they touch their hair, they really are fixing the headphones back to place because those things are huge.

Run a routine and see how you guys change place in the studio so you could run it.
It’s your reality, they’re just apart of it.