Been dating this girl for the last few months. Had great chemistry and got along really well although she is only 21 and I just turned 30. Thought it could work because she was from a good family and seemed mature for her age. Things have been going really well apart from a few red flags that had been bothering me. One of which was that I noticed she had logged into POF while we were dating. Didn’t make much of an issue about it because she hadn’t logged in a few weeks so I thought nothing of it.

Spent all weekend together and had a great time, I finally opened up emotionally to her since I was worried about getting hurt but finally opened up my heart. I didn’t say this to her of course, it was just an internal thing. So Sunday morning she goes home and I am on POF and notice that she is “online now” and keep checking back and see that she is pretty much online all day. Finally I ask a friend to message her. He does and she responds right away, he asks about her dating life and if she is single. She says she is single, that she was dating a guy but it didn’t work out, then gives him her phone number. Once I found this out I ended it with her, I didn’t think I could handle talking on the phone so I just sent her a text that said “had a great weekend but I don’t think this is going to work, best of luck”. She responded a few minutes later that she was planning on saying something to me and she agrees. I called her a little later and she wouldn’t offer any explanation, apology or any desire to talk things out. Next day she came over to get her stuff, had a quick pleasant enough meeting and that was that. Since then I have noticed that she is constantly on POF. She goes on when she wakes up, at lunch break, after work, etc. Obviously it seems like she has found somebody else.

I really did like this girl allot and cared for her a great deal. It just sucks because I have no idea what went wrong. I don’t think I was to needy or insecure or wussy or anything like that which would be an obvious reason. I guess most 21 year old girls just aren’t ready for a relationship. I imitated no contact, and it’s been since Monday since I saw her or spoke or anything. Any chance she will contact me? I know when girls can move on so quick it’s not a good sign. I deleted her number so threes no chance of me calling first.


Please, please let me know if there is hope. Thanks!

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~Carmo~

i'd start looking at new targets if i were you. you have confirmation that she is willing to cheat on her boyfriend (you). i don't understand why you would still want to bein a relationship with her, unless you actually want to be cheated on.

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Happily Married Since 12/30/09

Thats what is most confusing. I wont tolerate cheating, obiviously. But it is killing me that i still want to be with her. I'm sure in her mind she decided it was over before we verbally ended it. I should be mad, not sad.

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~Carmo~

Its perfectly normal you feel sad you loved her, even a friend of mine when discover her girlfriend had another guy for 1 month while they were dating, he was mad , but above all he was sad why? because he loved her and he was dissapointed,but now he hates her, so dont worry you will feel mad in time. Now since you breakup so recently you are not thinking straight. Go exercise go do something for you forget about this girl.

Well ,think about this if you guys comeback, she will know that she has the power, you forgive her for flirting with other guys and saying she has no boyfriend believe me I know a lot of this type of girls so she would proabbly cheat you no problem. She wont respect you and will do this time and time again. Good thing you delete her number now forget her and go game other girls , if you still this want to win her back the best thing you need to do is what you are doing NO CONTACT and enjoy life. And dont chase her like a puppy when she snaps her fingers. Good luck

breakups are hard. and this is just that. you have to understand that youll get over her with time.

You have to stop checking up on her POF. Find other girls. You dont want to be with someone who would cheat on you.

Move on
Good luck