First a little bit about me. I got hip to the game years ago, and had some success with it, but then went through a dry period that I'm starting to come out of. The reasons for the dry period was I got really annoyed with the pickup community in general, and I was also having a lot of personal problems that blocked me from self actualizing (income issues, health, etc).

I don't wing with guys. I go solo. All my successful pickups have been mostly solo. I don't do night game anymore. I'm not in this to get laid. I want to find someone of quality. A girl that is relationship material. I've turned down sex with hot women because I thought that they were alcoholics, or they wanted me to cheat with them on their husbands. I've also found myself in the position of having unavailable women flirt with me, or I with them.

Which brings me to the topic of this post.

There a girl at my gym. I gamed her a little. She was so LSE that I had a hard time even getting basic responses out of her that were meaningful. I qualified her once, "Hey what do you do for fun?", and she couldn't even give me a real answer. She wasn't socialized to game at all. So I teased her and called her a dork, and she got all nervous lol. She's very heady and intellectual. I push emotional frames on her whenever I can.

Anyway eventually I got this girls number (frame was to just hang out), and I need to say here that I'm rusty as hell. The frame was really neutral from me. Too neutral, but she was so LSE that it was hard to plow without blowing her away.

Anyway the other day I thought I was in good shape for a meetup, but then suddenly she drops a text message bomb that she has a boyfriend. Now this was a shock to me because:

1. Normally they drop a hint (I'm not that bad at this am I?)
2. I was kicking myself for not digging deeper earlier I assumed she didn't have one. Maybe she just wanted a new friend (ugh no way)
3. I'm pretty certain she didn't mention this earlier because she was interested (not just trying to defend my ego here)

Of course I blew it... but I wasn't sure what to do. Go covert and push for the meetup and then game her more vs. come clean let her know my intentions then hope shes sick of her boyfriend (which I think it partially the case).

I chose to come clean, but it backfired (of course). I said something like, "Too bad you have a boyfriend.... blah blah I think you're great."

It wasn't really a weird statement. I was just very honest and straightforward. It felt wrong somehow afterwards, and I confirmed this feeling when I bumped into her again and she was being bitchy. She kept holding up a bitch frame even when I hit it with jokes (got her to laugh twice but it just didn't stick).

But this brings me to the final part of this. During this whole process I pretty much knew where I was in my game. I was running an indirect frame the whole time, and then went direct when she told me she had a boyfriend.

This was a mistake, but what would have been better?

The goal would have been to steal her from her boyfriend and keep her.

Ideas? Thanks

p.s. a little bit more about me:

1. My approach anxiety is mostly under control
2. I've learned to make better eye contact
3. I can get pushed into friend zones I need to work on this
4. Sometimes I tend to overdo it and blow a set because I get too excited
5. I'm not really that quick witted. I'm very slow and primal when I talk to women.
6. I'm fast enough though to see a bad frame and push a new one on.
7. I'm getting better at steering a conversation for a phone number.
8. I tend to work really slow... way too slow... my biggest liability.

dozer from the sounds of things, you don't seem like the jealous type nor the type of guy that would want steal a girl from her boyfriend.

ME... I would have played it a bit cooler and not come out with the whole ''too bad you have a boyfriend'' line in the way you did it. I may have said it but in a joking way, something like 'I know u love me... too bad about your wonderful precious boyfriend who is so fantastic''.

If the boyfriend is real (sounds like it is), remember that relationships begin and end every single day, and most HBs out there go through plenty of boyfriends.

Having her as a female friend is not as bad as you may think... you can gain in 2 ways, 1. from getting her to introduce you to her hot friends, and 2. you can totally score on the rebound when her relationship ends (stranger things happen).

My advice would be not to let her know you are sour about the situation (yes, she probably does dig u, but can't be with u because of the bf), but try to use it to your advantage instead of burning it out. best of luck.

Thanks for the advice. Yeah I'm not the jealous type at all, or the stealer type.

You're right I should have played it cooler... that's why my nickname is dozer. I'm BLUNT... but that makes my plow strong sometimes

hehe

hmm ok might as well make it interesting for me.... I'll try to friend her maybe but I'm not getting played!

I always assume EVERY girl has a boyfriend then if they don't mention it theirselves (what happens most of the time) I'll say things like 'why didn't your boyfriend wanna come with you are you that much trouble ?' or when someone tries to interrupt my set is say shit like your boyfriend is so jealous of us or your boyfriend is kinda short. Or when they mention they don't have one the classic neg 'thats probably for the best !' is still golden.