| Hi all. I need your advice on the next move.
(TL;DR; at the bottom)
I asked this girl I had never met, out on a date. She said yes and seemed excited about it. We started texting and IM'ing back and forth and I learned a lot about her. I felt by her messages she is really looking forward to meeting me. 3 days later came the date and I took her to a cafe downtown. Chose one that is easy for her to find and we had one drink there and stayed around 30 minutes chatting, we are really meeting for the first time and it's kind of awkward she informs me she is on a back-shift from work and could get a call any minute and might have to run, then we walked over to a more interesting bar/lounge area where I entered a random bar that happened to be Irish/Caribbean fusion bar, seemed like the perfect place and we sat down and ordered drinks, but on the way over from the cafe to the bar (12min walk) she draws up a cigarette, I didn't know she smoked and was kind of relieved because I'm also a smoker, so after ordering drinks I realize the Irish/Caribbean bar was a non-smoking bar... 70% of the bars in the area smoking bars.
We stay there for good 30 minutes and chat with moderately awkwardly, she is asking me where I'm from and if we have any famous people from there, the small Mojitos are finished when I insist on bailing on the Irish/Caribbean and move to a smoking bar. She wasn't too excited about it but went along. We walk out and I am pretending to be heading to a nice smoking bar I know, didn't know any of the bars really since I'm new to the city. (She absolutely smelled the hesitation)
I see this nice looking one that is completely deserted while most neighboring bars are packed with people. I say jokingly "let's go into the empty one and watch it fill up with people as we sit down". She nodded unexcitedly and we entered. It seemed like the perfect setting, we could hear each other fine with the moderately loud music and had 3 waiters attending to us as it was some sort of VIP.
Perfect I thought, although I am still sort of awkward in my chatting with her, we are staring at each others eyes almost all the time though. 10 minutes pass by and the place completely fills up with people who are having a great time singing and dancing and the music volume goes up 500%. I don't hear shit of what she's saying and remembered a tip from Gambler never to lean forward to a girl in order to hear her better. So I move my chair closer to hers, which seemed to have exactly the same effect as leaning forward to her because she felt pretty uncomfortable. Once I see she is uncomfortable I lean back and allow silence to takeover. She initiates the chat again and informs me how she doesn't ever want to get married and how she hates the people of her country (France)... I ask why and about the marriage thing she says she doesn't believe in it and she had so many bad experiences, a month ago her boyfriend left her who she'd been dating for a month. And I ask her what is her longest relationship she says 3 months. I say "wow three months!" jokingly and she smiles and pushes me lightly. Things seem to be heading the right direction when she gets the call from work. She has to leave but told the work she would take one and a half hour until she got there. I'm sitting there thinking, this is dead. Time to end it before it ends itself.
So I take her hand and ask for a goodbye kiss since she's leaving
ME: So do I get a goodbye kiss?
SHE: (with a hesitant surprise look on her fac): what kind of kiss is a goodbye kiss?
ME: it's just one tiny kiss on the cheek girl what did you think it was?
ME: I don't know how a goodbye kiss is in France?
SHE: it's two kisses on the cheek.
SHE: Why are you saying goodbye? Aren't you leaving this bar also and going the same direction as me?
ME: (Freezing her with my eyes): I don't know which direction you are going girl I don't know where you work.
SHE: Yes you are going to this place and I am going to the same direction (I had told her my friend was playing Jazz at a pub in town and told her we might check it out later, she knew the location of that pub while I didn't - *doh*)
ME: (50 degrees below zero) Alright then, let's walk
As we start walking I start thinking how I already fucked it up and it's over and I should start moving on.
I don't give a shit anymore how she or anyone else on the street sees me. I'm free to do whatever hehe. I start tearing up flyers that are handed to me like it was something I learned in sunday school, I don't initiate any chat and reply in short disinterested sentences. My walk style changes from some hesitant baboon into Terminator 2.
That's when she starts going off, we are almost at the place of going our separate ways when she starts talking about how she might be really quick at the job and might call me later if it's fast. I'm Terminator2 now and with an Arnold voice I say, I like that. But my mind is still full force on this being a total fuck up by me and being over. We are now at the point of parting when she stops, I stop with her while naturally projecting the urge to keep going she leans forward with her cheek for a goodbye kiss, I kiss her once on the cheek and then move away when I realize she's doing something more (oh it was the double kiss on each cheek) She yells smiling we have two kisses in France and pushes me lightly.
After that my glacier melted on the way to my friends bar and I start thinking, hey it might not be totally lost! So after staying 40 minutes at that bar I text her "How did it go?" (I meant the work, but I realize now it's open for her to interpret as almost anything she wants.)
I get no reply. This was a Friday night, she already told me she had a flight on Saturday and would get back late Sunday evening. I stay and monitor IM on Sunday night wondering if she'll come online. Nah I think she probably blocked me. Then I start thinking maybe she came so late that she couldn't join IM. I speculate all Monday morning at work and rationalize to myself that she will probably block me when she gets home from work. I delete her phone number and texts and all traces of her from my phone and hit the gym, I ask another girl out for next Friday, get a yes and am happy and almost over the French one. But when I come home from work, I see her sitting on my IM with (away) status. What the hell? I think, maybe she just hasn't blocked me yet. I disconnect and connect 10 minutes later, she is offline. 2 minutes later, she turns up again! But still with away status.
Now this girl really interests me so I am asking you dear forum members, do I have a chance with this girl, and if I do WHAT ON EARTH DO I DO NEXT?
TL;DR: Fucked up the date, froze her out, got her interest back, fucked up that interest, froze her out, possibly got her interest back. What on earth do I do next?
Thanks
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