Help needed for this strange situation!!



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:56 am 
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I have known this girl for over a year now. She comes from a very conservative family and has never had a boyfriend. We talk on the phone regularly and sometimes talk for over an hour(she calls me 90% of the time) and she shares everything thats going on with her, but whenever I suggest to her that we meet, she starts coming up with bs reasons to not meet me. Any ideas as to how I can make the transition?

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:01 pm 
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What are you guys talking about? Her feelings? Sounds like your hear psychologist or something?

Think you have to move on from that one:S

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:09 pm 
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You are her emotional tampon and are in the process of being friend zoned in a gigantic way. Stop taking her calls, stop listening to her shit stories, wait a week and then invite her out to something fun. If she still doesn't want to meet, say whatever and don't call her for a while. Try again after another week. You should be gaming other women the whole time.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:24 pm 
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What are you guys talking about? Her feelings? Sounds like your hear psychologist or something?

Think you have to move on from that one:S
We mostly talk about work, family and movies and similar stuff. And its not that I am hung up on this one girl but its just that I want to try some game on her as she is definitely an HB10 and a very good person.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:29 pm 
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You are her emotional tampon and are in the process of being friend zoned in a gigantic way. Stop taking her calls, stop listening to her shit stories, wait a week and then invite her out to something fun. If she still doesn't want to meet, say whatever and don't call her for a while. Try again after another week. You should be gaming other women the whole time.
Thanks for the advice. I am definitely going to try that. And I am absolutely gaming other women. So do you suggest that I give her some kind of ultimatum and then cut off all ties if she doesn't want to meet me after say a second attempt? Because I have been thinking something on the similar line.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:41 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
You are her emotional tampon and are in the process of being friend zoned in a gigantic way. Stop taking her calls, stop listening to her shit stories, wait a week and then invite her out to something fun. If she still doesn't want to meet, say whatever and don't call her for a while. Try again after another week. You should be gaming other women the whole time.
Thanks for the advice. I am definitely going to try that. And I am absolutely gaming other women. So do you suggest that I give her some kind of ultimatum and then cut off all ties if she doesn't want to meet me after say a second attempt? Because I have been thinking something on the similar line.
I DO NOT suggest giving her an ultimatum. Simply invite her to something fun, maybe with friends. If she wants to come, then great, if not, then fuck it. Give her another chance after a week and then move on.

Ultimata are given by people with power to those with less, in serious situations that need firm resolutions. None of this is true here.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:04 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
You are her emotional tampon and are in the process of being friend zoned in a gigantic way. Stop taking her calls, stop listening to her shit stories, wait a week and then invite her out to something fun. If she still doesn't want to meet, say whatever and don't call her for a while. Try again after another week. You should be gaming other women the whole time.
Thanks for the advice. I am definitely going to try that. And I am absolutely gaming other women. So do you suggest that I give her some kind of ultimatum and then cut off all ties if she doesn't want to meet me after say a second attempt? Because I have been thinking something on the similar line.
I DO NOT suggest giving her an ultimatum. Simply invite her to something fun, maybe with friends. If she wants to come, then great, if not, then fuck it. Give her another chance after a week and then move on.

Ultimata are given by people with power to those with less, in serious situations that need firm resolutions. None of this is true here.
Ok. Now I guess I have a fair idea of what to do. And may be when I used the word "Ultimatum" I didn't clearly express myself. I actually meant if she doesn't want to come after second chance then I would tell her that I am striking her off my life and then I ll move on.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:04 pm 
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Maybe when I used the word "Ultimatum" I didn't clearly express myself. I actually meant if she doesn't want to come after second chance then I would tell her that I am striking her off my life and then I ll move on.
That's probably worse than giving her an ultimatum up front. It's petulant and reactive.

blondguy is giving you solid advice on how to approach this situation, and in no way does it involve attempting to manipulate her, which is both what an ultimatum and telling her what you propose would be. If you're not going to call her anymore that's fine, but why tell her about in such dramatic fashion? I'll tell you why, both to hurt her feelings for hurting yours (by rejecting you, even indirectly) with the added bonus of making her feel guilty so maybe she'll reconsider her decision (unlikely but who said vindictive feelings were sources of truth in the world).

My vote is for you to do what blondguy suggested, but more importantly think about why that course of action is the right one. I'll give you a hint, it isn't the right one because it increases your chance of getting with her, even though it accomplishes that.

Good luck man


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 4:14 pm 
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Maybe when I used the word "Ultimatum" I didn't clearly express myself. I actually meant if she doesn't want to come after second chance then I would tell her that I am striking her off my life and then I ll move on.
That's probably worse than giving her an ultimatum up front. It's petulant and reactive.

blondguy is giving you solid advice on how to approach this situation, and in no way does it involve attempting to manipulate her, which is both what an ultimatum and telling her what you propose would be. If you're not going to call her anymore that's fine, but why tell her about in such dramatic fashion? I'll tell you why, both to hurt her feelings for hurting yours (by rejecting you, even indirectly) with the added bonus of making her feel guilty so maybe she'll reconsider her decision (unlikely but who said vindictive feelings were sources of truth in the world).

My vote is for you to do what blondguy suggested, but more importantly think about why that course of action is the right one. I'll give you a hint, it isn't the right one because it increases your chance of getting with her, even though it accomplishes that.

Good luck man
I guess you are right. Thanks for pointing it out.

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