Anti-Slut Defense; now what?



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:46 am 
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Don't you love it when you're working a target and something happens that you've read about? And it's exactly how an mPUA explained it, too?

Tonight I hit Anti Slut Defense pretty hard for the first time. I think I handled it ok but certainly not like a pro. Thanks to RSD I knew exactly what it was.

1) Generally, do you need to move backwards a phase if you set off ASD? What does it mean?

2) In ths situation below, does her "stories"/"try hard" line towards the end indicate that I spent too long in A2 or that my A2 triggered her ASD?

3) Did I IOI too much when I said "I'm not tossing you into the LJBF pile"?


I'll keep it short; I did a pickup on the bus. HB7, mixed viet/chinese girl. Established enough qualification to get a call back. We proceeded to play hardcore cocky and funny by call and text for about a week. No problem keeping her attention; I was through A2. We became facebook friends, I discovered she has a bf, but I said nothing.

Tonight we had dinner, and I began to move into A3 slowly. I gave her some small hoops; "you like working with kids? that's really noble... we need more people like you." Gradually increased them, meanwhile securing A2 with a handful of light DHV stories.

As C&F wore off and the attraction became genuine, she became uncomfortable. She changed moods, packed up and left in about 90 seconds. I didn't try to keep her, I walked her out and hugged her and she drove off.

I texted her saying "Relax a little; life is meant to be enjoyed." We traded a text or two on the topic, and then she called me.

HB: I guess I should tell you... I thought you knew... I have a boyfriend so--
Crush: Orly? Me too! But mine let's me make friends without having to tell people all the time.
HB: Haha... what is it you want? I got this feeling you were trying hard.
Crush: Why because I told stories about myself? You told stories about yourself, didn't you?
HB: Well yea...
Crush: I want to get to know you. We're mutually attracted, that can't be helped, but I'm not going to violate your boundaries. You can be comfortable around me.
HB: Ok, well that's cool then. I do want to hang out again.
Crush: I know. I'm not tossing you into the LJBF pile yet, but I promise you can be comfortable around me.
HB: Great, I'm glad we had this conversation.

Funny comfortable texting ensues.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 9:19 am 
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Hmm.... I think you handled it pretty well. You made her comfortable, portrayed her b/f as being possessive without DLV by badmouthing him, and didn't let her think that LJBF shit was going to fly. Well played mate... this time you made her comfortable, next time punish and I'd say you're in.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 9:58 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:09 am
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Location: Arkansas
Im not sure on your situation but it wasn't in the story so I'll speak from my experience so far. I've had 2 situations so far that I allowed them to feel uncomfortable b/c I failed to complete the routine and to move to the next step. My mistake was that after I got my IoI's and was in the comfort stage I completely lost track of the system and never initiated any Kino. I just kept talking, built comfort and DHV'd the whole time. I still got the #'s but it was more for a penpal/text buddy kind of thing. What I learned was that Kino at this time is important b/c they've got an overwhelming since of comfort and she is actually expecting you to Kino. If you don't act on it her mind starts noticing somethings wrong since she's given her indications and has gotten the results her mind was looking for. So she gets uncomfortable and second guesses herself which could have been the problem here. It sounds like you did some Kino when you meet up but if you didn't start it on the bus she's had time to process why not and then to second guess her feelings of wanting you to.

~Surreal


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:00 pm 
Just some comments. Take them or leave them.

"I gave her some small hoops; "you like working with kids? that's really noble... we need more people like you.""
THAT wasn't a hoop. That was a compliment. A hoop is something she has to jump through right then and there.

"HB: Haha... what is it you want? I got this feeling you were trying hard."
OUCH!

Obviously I could be wrong, since she seems to admit there is attraction, but from what I read, it doesn't look good.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:15 pm 
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lol I know things aren't looking good... I mean, I agree. But as the thread title asks...

Now what?

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:20 pm 
Ok, IF she still feels some attraction toward you, BUILD IT, BUILD IT, BUILD IT. Basically, build HER attraction TOWARD YOU to the point that she's looking at you, into your eyes, down at your lips, and you can tell that she wants so bad to kiss you. Then . . . DON'T HOLD BACK. Do it! I mean, don't just yank her head to your lips and kiss, duh, lol. But, seductively move in and kiss her. Then, keep the push pull thing going on. You HAVE to progress with the kino if there is ANY chance with her. And even then, the chances are less if her b/f actually pleases her in bed. But if she isn't being taken care of there, you may have a shot here.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:14 am 
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LA TRIPP knows his stuff... don't make yourself too available... and play with her a bit more, I like to tell them "would you stop undressing me with your eyes please?" playfully of course!


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