Well boys I have fucked myself in more ways than one. What the sad part is, it’s my fault, and I knew what I was doing was wrong, from the first moment I started my playful banter. I would like to say I did it for love, and perhaps some part of me did, but secretly I think I also enjoyed the challenge, the hunt.

It all started this semester; we were close friends last semester but nothing to serious. In recent weeks we have stayed back at uni longer then required, talking, flirting, and keeping each other company. That escalated to us keeping each other warm, massages on the uni grounds. Eventually we decide to have a study date, where she spends the night in my bed, cuddling, kissing, touching. Oh did i mention she has a boyfriend. Perhaps i should say a few words about him for the sake of my story.

He is a psychopath and at best the mascot for the AFC crowd. The night she spent at my place was the night where he blew up her phone with messages and threats of him breaking up with her, she took this as routine and didn’t worry, in her words she said “I am to good for him to loose, he talks big but he would never drop me”. It is also vital to mention she has been attempting to breakup with him for some time now, partly because he is so predictable and so attached to her. Long story short they got back together again, on the grounds that she has less boundaries and can see and do things with other guys (me). She told him everything, how we slept together what we did etc, he accepted it and still stayed with her.

Now onto my side of the story, She told me she likes me on many occasions. Last Thursday we spent the whole day together in her room biting kissing/ fooling around. She was meant to hang out with me the Sunday after but blew me off Saturday, after i texted her the time we were meant to meet. At that point i deleted her from face book/her number/ msn. She came to uni Monday morning and was very apologetic saying she doesn’t want us to end etc, we talked i was cold to her. Basically it ended with me saying choose him or me, at that point i didn’t wait for her answer and walked away without looking back.

Here is the thing, it’s sad and I know (oneitis hard) she has a birthday this weekend, she has nothing planed and her boyfriend’s friend has a party that same day so they were going to go there. What Corse of action should I take, should I wish her happy birthday? Or should I keep acting cold/ distant, is there anything i should be doing apart from running?

Should I be distant or not, because she does like me, but she wants to have the cake and eat it to... And i don’t want to look like a beta AFC like her boyfriend is, but its shit because i have these retarded emotions for her and can’t get over it thinking I lost 

Text her wishing her a happy b day but do it late (10-1030 or so). She obviously is interested in you but make her wait and worry that you forgot.

Will do, what about general attitude towards her when at uni?

bump, any more advice guys =/

Don't act phased by it. Start hanging out with other girls too if you can.

hmm so play it cool, but do i keep contact with her as much as i use to?
and if so should it still be sexual or just really disconnected/ uninterested?

Yes play it suuuuper cool, you have more to lose than her, she has a boyfriend so she can compensate any lose with him. Yeah maybe she is sad and dont feel so good now but that will not last for ever. She still feel atraction for you.

You most not keep contact with her like before, because this will mean that you are not the man so she will lose interest, You should be thinking... I have so many options and behave like that, she will feel it!! When you see her, yeah talk with her in a cool way BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS CUT HER FIRST "I gotta go, "need to do some work"

You should not be sexual at all, but if you want her wait if she make the move if not, you make the move. And here is where you become sexual, you will feel when it is the right moment. and take the opportunity

I gotta somethig similar. I gotta this ONEITIS, I was like kind of dating with her but I didnt want somethig serious for diferent reasons in that moment. So we lost contact and she went back to her city but I knew she just got a boyfriend before leaving. she came back 8 months later and continued with his boyfriend. We met us even he was having a boyfriend, ofcourse she still liking me, she didnt know that i knew that she had a boyfriend. She couldnt hide it for so long, she lied me that she just start dating him and bla bla bla nevermind.

Now here is where you are, isn it? she want you but she have boyfriend.

So from here I gave her the opportunity to look for me, she didnt. So called her met us and told her... thats your decision, what evr you want to do I respect, I like you so much but i THINK WE SHOULD NEVER SEE US AGAIN!, she was like shocked, noooooo we can be friends (Dont fall in this one, keep you decision). She even sart disquialifing her boyfriend in that moment. He is bla bla bla.... I was like okay I like you and dont call me again (talking really slow and relax)

When this happend I was not in this PUA thing. But I think I did a good work.

From here I didnt called her(okay yeah I call her once eah 4 months). But if this happen to you, just call her, give some time, and invite her and escalte again.

hahha, and yeah with that girl ofcourse "I will be back"(Will smith quote) not the moment havieng some other girls

so good luck


cheers


Notneedy

haha sorry (I´ll be back) Terminator

cheers

thanks man, that was some good advice i will post how i go with it this coming week

My perspective on things may be a little harsher toward her than what others have said, but this is my take:

I understand she was apologetic after blowing you off and I understand shit happens and sometimes scheduled things don't work out, but for what reason did she flake on you? I guess what you have to realize is that she DOES have a boyfriend and I agree with playing it cool but cold, however, also realize that because she has a boyfriend she has a fallback. If you act too cold toward her, she can (despite attraction toward you) just forget about you and hell, she already has a boyfriend so why should she care - you're the one who will be left "alone" so to speak.

On the other hand, if you aren't 'cold' enough and you come crawling back after giving her an ultimatum (which I completely DISagree with doing EVER) you'll look really inconsistent and it just becomes awkward.

Disclaimer: by my use of the word 'cold', I do not mean be a complete jackass and piss her off. By my use of the word 'cold', I simply mean just to not be as receptive or open to her as you normally would be. You have to calibrate that degree for yourself given that you actually know her.

If you plan on texting her "Happy birthday" like Nike123 suggested, do it because you genuinely want her to have a happy birthday. If she responds, just be cool and talk to her. It seems like you care about her, so show her that by being sincere. Again, I disagree with ever giving girls ultimatums, but what's done is done, so move on. I'm not sure exactly how I would personally go about "erasing" an ultimatum, but what comes to mind first is just playing it cool and forgetting about it. Don't apologize for it, don't talk about it, in fact, don't ever mention it again. It never happened.

Edit: I just realized my overall point wasn't very clear. End of the day, the best way to get inside someone's head is to get out of yours. You have to think about what is going through her head, and if you guys changed shoes, how would you react to what is going on being her. Take that and use it. What could she do to you (again if you switched shoes) that would drive you wild. That would make you WANT to talk again and be with you? I don't know her personality and you do, so think about it and try whatever comes to mind out.

_________________
"Vincit Qui Se Vincit"

The reason she flaked on me was in her words, “she didn’t want to cheat on her bf again because she knew if she saw me she wouldn’t be able to resist her urges”. On the outside i was poker faced but on the inside i was like WTF?. In addition she spent the day with her boyfriend, and felt bad for him because we were together the Thursday prior.

The ultimatum I set was defently a bad idea on my part, i wished her happy bday etc, she was really happy to talk to me, she said that she is trying to sort things out with her life now (in regards to her boyfriend and her leaving him). To that i just said cool and she’s like i don’t expect you to wait around for me.

I have uni after tomorrow, and that two long days with her. The thing is uni is going to end in about a month, and from there on i know we will probably drift apart if her boyfriend remains in the picture, because hes really possessive and restrictive on her (ironically).
So overall i have about a month to win at this game, i will as you said play it cool but not cold, tease a bit and see what other methods i can come up with.