okcupid

me: wanna bake a cake? (she mentioned something about that in her profile)
her: can it be cupcakes? I'm in the mood for that for some reason..
me: i only bake cupcakes after the third date, sorry.
her: I don't go on dates. Therefore I fail. Tell me things?


I want to say "I only tell girls things after the second date. why don't you date?" but I don't know if that will be funny or redundant. Should I say some random funny fact instead? She's a very cute blue eyed ginger and seems like a very liberal hipsterish type of girl. Whatever I say I'm still going to ask her why she doesn't date because I think I can bridge that into a somewhat clever way to ask her to hang out later.

Interesting topic you two have gotten into...you might help us all by giving us some info on how you got to baking...but I'll help how I can.

"Tell me things? " - She is testing you. DO NOT TELL HER TRUE THINGS. Here, depending on your previous interactions..you can tell her some funny lies "I am an underwear model" "I am a female specialist for the CIA" whatever you want... OR ...you can ask her questions...and re-frame the conversation (my personal preference).

"So you obviously have a love for control...but can you be spontaneous too? If I woke you up tomorrow morning *(implies you two are sleeping together)* and told you we were taking a road trip for the weekend..in 20 minutes...could you decide where to go and could you get ready?" - This basically says...if you say no..you're a bad person...but if you say yes...you have to give me a solid response. It always works well for me.

Give us some more info and we can help you more 4b11.

Thank you Mig. I'm very new to all of the PUA psychology and all that, but I did kind of recognize her question as a test. Before I would have said something like "what kind of things?" or something about myself.

Anyway, the "let's bake a cake" thing I said was the first thing I messaged her.

So I ended up responding with something I read in another thread on this site.

me: "Recent surveys show that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.

Why don't you date?"
her: "Ahhahah.

I don't really know how to. I know how to make friends, joke and flirt, but go on actual dates? I'd rather just hang out and go urban exploring or sit around listening to music making out. Then eventually go to get food in between or something. But I don't really consider that a date. I consider that being hungry "


I think I like this girl hahaha.

I responded to that with this:

"I like your thinking. How about we just skip the next 20 messages of random small talk and just be friends and hang out sometime? You'll unfortunately never get to bake cupcakes with me though since we'll never date I guess. That's a damn shame, too, being that I'm a great baker. I make tart dough (pate brisee/sucree etc.) to relieve stress."

I figure even if I set a friendship frame if the attraction and flirting are there other things will follow and I can be the one in control. So she responded:

"trade digits and we'll chill " and gave me her number.

Fastest number close on Okcupid thus far haha. 7 messages in two days.

You're off to a great start 4b11! Remember in person to just not be too AFC...but also not too PUA. When you're starting out, a strong PUA just comes across as a jack ass because he doesn't deliver lines right and doesn't usually know what stage he's in. So...keep it simple. Knowing what you know from these forums (books/DVDs/etc), I'm sure you're already leagues above any other guys this girl has met.

Good luck mate!

Oh, PS "Just be friends" from your message...in the future...use "if nothing else, we can just be great friends." It just leaves a bit of an open end is all.