Approach anxiety is a common anxiety most men feel before approaching a woman they are physically attracted to. This typical scenario will sound familiar to you..

You walk into the supermarket and you see a beautiful woman in aisle 3. A few seconds later, your mind comes up with a million reasons why you shouldn't approach her. You try to come up with the best pick-up line you can think of, BUT nothing is good enough!

Your there for 10 minutes STILL trying to come up with something to say, feeling so much frustration throughout your body (at this stage, your approach anxiety will be reaching its peak and you will be feeling more anxious and needy).. then you think of that ‘perfect opener' - you walk over to the woman and all of a sudden you notice your legs can't move.. you feel anxieties throughout your body; nervous, frustrated and start questioning whether you are good enough for that girl – common signs of approach anxiety.

Mate, we have all been there.. some PUA's tell you to visualise yourself experiencing your greatest fears when approaching women and eventually (..maybe) you will be able to get rid of your approach anxiety, control your thoughts and approach women.. ‘without any experience!?'

The truth is, you are always going to have this approach anxiety unless you face your fears, but I am not one of those PUA's to tell you to ‘just do it!' – I want to help you..

There is a solution to this common problem and I can't stress enough in writing how bad my approach anxiety was before I heard about this simple technique. The truth is, your approach anxiety will worsen with time unless you do something about it..

This technique is known as the THREE SECOND RULE

Have you ever noticed: The longer you hesitate to approach a woman, the more insecure and needy you are going to appear to people around you. Also, hesitation creates an added sense of nervousness to your mental state – a personality trait you do not want to portray when approaching women.

Even if you can't think of any way to initiate a conversation with a woman, whatever you do, don't break the three second rule! Act in 3 seconds as the default rule, even if you have no idea how you will continue.

If you don't have an opener in mind ready to use right now come up with a couple you can use in ANY situation, for example;

1. Hey, whats up?
2. Do you know where XXX shop is (HB answers). I'll be honest, I just came over to flirt with you.
3. You are fucking adorable and I just had to meet you..
4. Hey, do you have the time? (HB answers). Your being too nice, I came over here just to flirt.

In each of these openers you are turning ‘ON' some of the seduction switches; by stating your intentions, being bold, being in control, taking what you want and going direct..

The idea of the three second rule is so that your brain cannot focus on negative thoughts the mind is trying to produce to protect you from external factors. As a result, you have little or NO approach anxiety.

Even if you start sweating, or getting shaky or stutter while talking to the woman after following the three second rule, you weren't that way when you initiated contact. The first impression is what counts.

If you don't keep to this rule and it is a rule; the longer you wait, the worse your approach anxiety will be BUT keep to it and you will have NO approach anxiety – the clock is always ticking, so move it!

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Come on guys, I want to hear what your thoughts are on this??

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I just cannot apply this rule, I count in my head 1...2....3...go. but still i can't stomach it and can't do it.

For example I was shopping the other day checking out some jewelry and there happened to be a HB8 behind me. I knew I could have turned around and asked her for a female opinion on these 2 rings I was looking at. In my head I was like turn around NOW! Constantly for about 2 minutes but I just could not do it. I think she was checking me out aswell actually waiting for me to open her but I bottled it and walked away.

Even when I know a girl is interested in meeting me I cannot open them. Do you have any reasons why?

This is completely common, so don't feel like you are the only person in the world that hesitates when he sees a beautiful woman and wants to go and talk to her..

This is how I see it: You can feel that anxiety, frustration, anger (whatever you want to label it as) for 5 minutes or... for 3 seconds.. It's upto you!

For some people the 3 second rule just doesn't work.. NOT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORK FOR THAT PERSON - but because, they are not allowing themselves to implement the rule; this is because they are thinking too much in their heads like you were below.. 'TURN AROUND NOW!'..

No one ever truly overcomes approach anxiety, but they can reduce it dramatically - the 3 second rule is a shortcut. It helps you approach women with confidence and improve your inner game.

You have to face your fears - I don't care what anyone says, there is no other way to get rid of this anxiety..

There is a saying that may also help you, it goes something like this; You want to jump in a cold pool but hesitate because it is freezing and you are thinking about the consequences of getting in and out of that pool feeling freezing cold.. You jump in 3/4 times and get used to the cold water brushing your skin and it becomes fun jumping in and out of the pool.. The very next day, you want to get back into that pool but its groundhog day all over again, but you do it because you know the benefits outweight the consequences

Face your fears and enjoy life - all it takes is 3 seconds, that's it..

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The 3 second rule has been around for years, you make it sound as if you just came up with it...

Did I say or mention anywhere that I came up with it? I'll answer that for you - cuz you'll probably answer it wrong... NO

Have you ever heard of a thing called enthusiasm and speaking with emotion?? You can answer that..

I'm off to do some night game and have fun

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You're spot on, OP.

3 seconds or death. Lol.

It is a simple yet effective technique..

Although sometimes, you may be too nervous to approach.

I will be honest, approaching is horrible and you will never get used to it - but once you get past that mental block of the first 10 seconds.. you will begin to reap the rewards.

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To those who suffer from AA: How many of you have heard of the '3 second rule'?

I am a newbie and have little game. However, I have found a way around anxiety approach that (usually) works.

1) How do you percieve those feelings when you get approach anxiety - the shot of adrenaline, stomach churning, butterflys in the stomach?

Naturally bad, right? Well, they don't actually have to be bad feelings. There are people who pay good money rock climbing, skydiving, doing rollercoasters who are searching for that exact feeling.

If you can see it as a fun exciting moment, a moment you really know you are alive, you start to appreciate it, maybe look forward to it.


2) "Safety's off, fire at will" approach - I find that when I am into approaching and trying to time it ("okay, go now... okay now") it really makes me nervous and off balance.

However, (I know this is weird) I started visualizing I was a captain of a space ship or the pilot of a jet fighter. Think back to Star Trek (I know, nerdy as hell) - did Picard say "fire now!" - not usually, he said "fire at will" and then the gunner fired when a good opportunity presented itself.

I basically take the role of the capitain, my subconcious as the gunner - when I want to approach I simply tell myself "fire at will" or something and then don't focus on WHEN but instead do whatever else I am doing.

Next thing I know I quick find a reason to say hi and open. Sometimes it feels like my mouth and body are firing off before I even know what's going on.

This is so Mystery method but you got the point, in other words:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjQ-dFocxA0[/youtube]

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I don't know how old that vid of Mystery was, but I love the way that he still speaks in a humble, modest way. It reminds me of me, except without the years of experience of approaching women, because I've just begun my journey.

Even after all his experience, he's still just a normal guy! And that's really encouraging.