What's up gang? A very fresh newbie here (this is actually my first post). Got introduced to the game less than a year ago. Got the stylelife challenge to try about three month ago (on and off). Only at day 5 or 6. I have seriously bad approach anxiety, been burned before (as I am sure many of you have).

Anyways, about 2 month ago met this girl at lunch. All sits were taken so I asked I anyone was using the chair beside her. Now usually I would eat... and leave. But this day I thought I'd try a "fuck it attitude". To just say something... anything. Anyways, started talking... went great... by the end I could literally feel she was waiting for a number exchange. Dont know if this was too much for me to handle but stupid me... just exchanged online info.

Didn't really chat online. But met her again last week. She was very friendly. Gave me a hug hello. Some of the people she knew stopped to say hello. She introduced me to them. After our conversation and number exchange she gave me a hug goodbye. I texted here a few days after to meet up again early this week (while all along fighting that part of my brain that second guesses or overthinks stuff).

I'm still committed to this "fuck it attitude". So I'll be def going to see her again. I just wanted to ask if anyone has any good advice in terms of how I can prepare myself before hand. How many stock stories are enough? how many nags and etc... do people usually have memorized (cause there are alot of them out there).

Also..... on a side note.... she still has romantic pics with her boyfriend online from over a year ago. Couldn't really find anything else on the fact that she might still be with him. Is this something I should be concerned about? What is the best way of handling this 'possible boyfriend still in the picture' issue?

And just as another sign of my newly fresh newbieness again... can someone tell me why I can't get her out of my head, ever since I decided to text her and set up a meeting... its insane... nothing's happened yet and I'm already thinking of her as my gf. I don't want to idealize her like this...

I'm meeting her in a couple of days so any help would be greatly appreciated. Advice or not this is happening (I kinda want to see how far I can take it), and I would like to have a bit more on me than my "fuck it attitude".

Cheers mates

Word of advise Newbie;tackle those insecurities now!!!

You should not be idolizing nor imagining being in a relationship with any girl;especially before you've even laid her.

One-itis happens to us all;even the seasoned guys get it at times.

How to tackle this,is to keep gaming other girl.

Dont stop at her.

You have to keep meeting other girls or you'd cling to this 1 a if she's a life jaccet(lol).

So what if she still has pics of her boyfriend?

It means nothing to your case.Why worry?

It seems like you're trying to make this girl your GF.

You should be trying to lay her 1st.ly,then the relationship would automatically come.

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Thanks for the advice and the quick reply k-loc!! Much appreciated! I've read plenty of stuff on the game... I didn't really had an agenda in mind when we met... and that's why its gone this far (number close and second meet)... but I don't have enough practice fending off these thoughts.

Here is the routine I wanted to do and wanted to see if you guys had any comments/suggestions:
-Plan is to end up playing pool together. I'd suggest that since we don't know each other too well, that each ball a player sinks in they can ask a question from the other person. Then this gives an incentive to change topics and kinda gets over awkward silences.

-Now on the second game I would say that we should up the stakes. I would say "if she wins she'd have a dinner/coffee/whatever on me." Then I'd ask her "what I should expect from her if I win." Then win/lose you each get something out of it. I was thinking that this would even make it so that you're the prize (don't know, could be wrong).

And before you guys start saying this is too basic, just wanted to say that this is what I did last time I took a girl out for first meet. Just asked her if she wanted to make the prize that the loser has to kiss the winner. And even though losing a game to the girl is bad, you both end up getting something at the end of the game (win/lose).

But that was during the night at a bar. This meet is during day on college campus. Just wanted to see if you think this is too forward. Is this portraying too much interest if I say that "if she wins she can have a dinner on me"?

Does anyone know a better approach in regards to what the prize should be for the winner for the second game?

Also in regards to questions I can ask if I sink a ball in the first game.... I need about 15-20 questions I can ask... ANY suggestion for questions I can ask to maximize my advantage of gaming her would be appreciated. I just need some ideas on how I can transition this meet to another meet without coming off as interested or too forward.

Thanks

I like your plan so far man. Check these two threads out about conversation topics/questions. Let us know how it goes man!

conversation-topics-never-stall-in-conv ... 62337.html
the-simple-art-of-conversation-vt70013.html?highlight=

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Great game plan(the pool thing).

It's very progressive and fun.

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OK! so here's a summary of what happened:
I was studying at this one place near where we were suppose to meet. She had told me she "had some stuff to do and will meet me around 4:00... 4:30 latest.. I told her to text me when she's here and that I'll be there studying for few hrs.

4:30 comes she doesn't msg... I msged her by 5:00 to nag... she'd said sorry and that she's on her way. We meet up. Hug (a bit closer to cheek to cheek this time). She says she has something for me. Makes me guess. Its a beverage! She apologizes (doesn't give a reason!). *I was going to tell her she would have to buy us coffee since she's late but she brought it herself to apologize for being late!!*

Pool table is full so we played another game, drinking the beverages she brought. Now I am pretty good at this other game, but I dont know for what reason I lost every game we played. She was teasing about it! We had somewhat good conversation!! There were silence moments but it wasn't weird cause we're playing the game! We did a bit of kino! Didn't really go as I hoped! I think she had a good time, saying we should do it again and talking about rematch! *Couldn't really take it up to a kiss as being a prize like I wanted*

I think she was fishing for a complement at one point. She was dressing alot more fancier this time! And she was kinda letting me know in a way!

Just to let you know that this was just suppose to be a quick activity during her break before her classes!! *I was gona take it up to getting a k-close! didn't really get that far.*

I found one thing weird about this meet though! At 5:00 I was gona leave and tell her I got tired of studying and left! I was on my way to buy something at the cafe (which is pretty away from where we gona meet), I saw this girl sitting there as I passed by. I thought she looked like it was the girl I was gona meet, so I didn't want to turn around. Don't think she saw me cause she didn't turn around. I waited in line for a minute. She wasn't there when I was coming back.

But here's the thing... I don't know if she was just waiting there to see if I text her cause she's being late (Is she testing me without me knowing??)... This is cause the texting and me seeing that girl from behind happened simultaneously!! (By this point I didn't know what she was wearing and I saw this girl from behind with a part her face showing... so can't be 100%)..... or It could be that she just forgot??? can't really be sure! -->Should I have not agreed to meet after she was late and had just gone off (even though she said she was on her way -->or maybe I shouldn't have texted in the first place... I'm a bit confused about this... if I did the right thing!

Anyways, long story short I dont know if this girl is gaming me?! or am I gaming her?! -->cause alot of the stuff she did or said (the beverage, fishing for comps, playful teasing)

am I really wrong if I think that she could be gaming me too?? *if she makes you guess something like the beverage she brought cause she was late... does this happen often?


And I think she was wearing raised heels! I dont think it was very high heels, but I think it was def'n raised! Cant be too sure! Guess I have pay more attention to these things to know for sure next time!! Its not really suitable for going class to class!

I guess I dont know if she is normally dresses this way and is this friendly with everyone or not!

Seriously... Not even one reply!!

it makes it only easier if she is gaming you too... just don't fall for shit tests, or let her use you... some girls like to give guys the feeling that she feels something for them, so they buy her gifts etc

alright forum with your infinite wisdom.... what the hell happened with this?
After previous meet, I msged her the next day to set up something for the following days that she would be in the same building as me (work related). I tried not to be too forward and just said that if she's there, then we should meet. She answered back saying she's off at that time but gave me some other dates that she would be there (I took this as good sign cause she gave me exact dates!). She kinda sounded upbeat in the msg... so I thought everything was going well.

I think we both knew when we were gona meet. the time comes and she was suppose to call me around the time that I told her. She calls me an hour late. I decided not too pick up (thought I blame it on reception). I called two minute later. We met, but it was kinda rushed, and she kinda put a time constraint on the meeting cause she had to get back to work. When we were saying goodbye she saying sorry for rushing me and that she was gona call me the next day to meet. But I've been racking my brain after the meeting, and I kinda got the feeling that she didn't really want to meet on that day. Cause she brought her own lunch, wasn't dressed up like the first time we met and overall wasn't really into it.

The next day she didn't call like she told me and I've furious as hell, cause I have NO IDEA what's going on. Maybe I shouldn't have met her after she called me late the first time. But to be honest I kinda got the feeling that she really didn't want to meet. I don't want to call or msg her cause I'm just so pissed off right now. At this point I think I'm just gona wait for her to initiate something, she owes me an apology anyways. But what now gentlemen!! what would a PUA do in this situation??

if anybody can make sense of this for me... PLEASE share.

A PUA would not be hanging his hopes on ONE girl, especially one who's late and flakey.

The time you met when she dressed up a bit, that was indeed a sign that she liked you. Congratulations, you generated attraction and got yourself a day 2! Some newbies will spend many months just getting over AA so you're doing well.

However although you had a pretty nice time, she's likely pegged you as friend material because you didn't move things forward and escalate enough when you did see her. Thus her enthusiasm in seeing you trailed off the last time.

Couple of points to remember in the future.

1. Kino kino kino. If you haven't got far enough up the kino ladder to k-close the first time you meet (or you met in the day when this would be wildly inappropriate) then you definitely want to on the day 2. Remember to be touching her arm to emphasise points, or when you laugh or she laughs, or at "spikes" in the conversation. Always break kino first after a few seconds, and then when you re-engage go further up the ladder (i.e. shoulder, arm behind elbow, small of back, knee, inside thigh, etc.) Always break kino first and NEVER look at where you're touching.

2. Your day 2 should always happen at night, and should involve about 3 locations, such as a cafe, tapas bar or dessert place, a higher energy music venue, bowling alley or arcade, and finally a lower energy lounge or bar that's near your place.

3. Just because you've set up a day2 doesn't mean you should stop gaming until you've pushed things as far as the can go with the one girl. You should be doing day and night game all the time, and setting up day2s as often as possible for your weekday evenings. Doing approaches on your way to a date will get you in a positive mood and in a social frame of mind. It will make your date go better, and if you get a number on your way, then that mentality of abundance will mean you won't act needy and will give off the correct high-value vibe.

My advice is to not talk to her for a week and game other women. If you still give a shit about her or she gets into contact with you again, then invite her out to a fun interesting night and really push things forward confidently and comfortably.

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Hi James.morph,

First and foremost, thanks for the PM. I really appreciate the kind words.
Now, if you haven't taken time out to read the above blondguy's post, then I suggest you do so. Blondguy mentions a lot of basic procedural moves that the common PUA follows; but even if you were to go ahead and follow through on these things without the proper mindset on why you are doing so, you may end up failing and becoming more frustrated. For your information, I've read your above posts but my post here is mainly going to focus on your information given to me in your last post.

Similar to blondguy, I congratulate you for creating that first spark of attraction. This only means that this relationship can go places granted that you have the skills and proper mindset from here on out. You have to understand something; in order to be a successful long-term PUA, you must begin building a specific kind of mindset into your true character.

Okay, so what do I mean by having the right mindset? Blondguy briefly touched on this in the beginning of his post; he states, "A PUA would not be hanging his hopes on ONE girl, especially one who's late and flakey." That's absolutely right: in this instance, she called you an hour late. That's a big no-no; in other words, you have to see yourself as a man of quality, and being late is not going to cut it. By hanging out with her that day, you are essentially telling her, "Hey, it's alright, I like you alot which is why I really want to hang out with you despite the fact you are one hour late." Quality girls pick up on this and it translates into wussy, weak behavior. (Most guys fall for this because they like the girl so much they can't help it. We, as guys, do it all the time). Instead, you need to demonstrate indirectly that you are strong and although you would have liked to spend time with her, your life does not depend on it. Note here that there is a big difference between wanting and needing; you want to avoid the latter. Think of it like this: When you are one hour late to a job interview, do you think the interviewer is going to take a liking to that? Hell no. So why should you let it fly for this girl? The answer is because you like her. Girls are smart and they'll unconsciously pick up on this and it's exactly what you don't want. By the same token, you don't want to become so intolerant to the point where it will make you look like a complete asshole. You could have went ahead, picked up, and said something along the lines of:

You: Hey, what's going on?
Her: Oh, hi! I'm sorry for being an hour late. I'll be there soon and then we can hang out.
You: That's alright, I would like to hang out but it's getting kind of late and I almost forgot I have another appointment. I guess the surprise will have to wait =p (Be playful but genuine)
Her: Oh, surprise? What kind of surprise?
You: Haha, if you treat me to some coffee next time, maybe I'll take you there. Anyways, my friend is calling and she needs me to go over and help her with something. Talk to you later.
Her: Oh okay, when can we meet? Hm, talk to you later! (If you've done this correctly, most likely she will be trying to arrange a time to meet for the next outing while simultaneously falling into your false time constraint and saying her goodbyes)

Do you see what you are basically doing here? You are conveying a lot of things to a girl in the above conversation even though it doesn't seem like much. First of all, she is an hour late- let's not forget that. She's thinking, "Hm, I'm an hour late but like most guys, this one will probably wait as well, and so it shouldn't be a biggie after I say my apologies." Now, of course she's not thinking this verbatim in her head- it's all unconscious. When you actually give her the second line, her first reaction will be, "Wow, most guys would have just said it's okay but this guy is a little different." You won't be like most guys, but instead you'll be seen as one with priorities and not a total loser who tries hard to get with girls. But remember: you need to sound genuinely interested in hanging out with her; it's just that something got in the way and you gotta take care of it first. This way, she won't see you as an asshole who flat-out rejects girls for no reason.
This sparks interest in a girl's mind, as she would like to figure out what kind of other things you'd rather be doing than hanging out with her. On top of that, she would very much want to know what kind of surprise you have in store for her! This excitement acts as a mini-investment that she will have for you. Such investment will keep her on her toes for the next time you guys decide to hang out- she'll be waiting for your surprise, and hence, you'll be given an opportunity to keep the attraction alive.

Secondly, you are indirectly indicating to her that you have a friend and SHE needs help with something. You are being vague, but believe it or not, the girl you are interested in has already picked up it; you are demonstrating to her nonetheless that you may already have been pre-selected (assuming you understand the concept of pre-selection). This is a huge turn-on for girls. There are tons of ways to doing this, but I can't explain it thoroughly in this post.

It's a bit of a long post, but I don't even know why you decided to hang out with her that day even though she was an hour late. That was your biggest mistake, and if you didn't allow it to happen, you wouldn't have been dealing with her rushing to head back to work, putting a time constraint on you, etc.

Also, you have to understand that if she places a time constraint on your meeting, you need to match her. If she is in a rush and you aren't, you will be deemed the needy one. She's got priorities and you should too. If she was busy to begin with, you should not even have hung out with her. (especially not at this point in the relationship).

I apologize if anything I said lacked a point of clarification. Feel free to PM me if you needed to ask anything specific. I'd be more than happy to help.

Thank you blondguy and Andronikos for your quick reply! I really appreciate your inputs.

blondguy - Now this is some speicific pointers I could use! Solid advice man! much appreciated!

Andronikos - Thanks for the breakdown and the example you gave! it would have went alot better if I had picked up and said what you wrote... it all kinda happened really quick! I called her back after missing her call and next thing I know i'm meeting her. I kinda figured out during the meet that maybe it wasn't the best idea, but kinda too late by then.

But both of you guys are right about the oneitits and I think blondguy gave the best answer to my question of what would a PUA do in this situation. So I got a week to go before any contact with this girl... so I'll be working on doing more game on other girls.

Can I just say , your game plan at the beginning was pretty awesome ( if you thought of that your self kudos) Seriously though if you can think of shit liek that all the time your going to be mostly fine .

Oh and im totally robbing your pool idea for my next date

Thanks zappo for the comment! Feel free to use it. And let me know if you have any success with it!

The pool thing is from a few years ago. I had met this girl at a bar by asking her and her friend if they wanted to join me and my friend for a game of pool! They agreed and we started playing. It was two girls vs two guys the first game, but I suggested to change teams, so by the third game we had each teamed up with either girl. We exchanged numbers, but took me a few weeks to get the courage to call her and ask her out to dinner. This was before being introduced to the game, so I did pay for dinner... hehe, shame!!! we went to a bar cause I thought that's where we'll find some pool table and kinda continue the night. After one beer we start playing. On the third game I suggested the pool idea, because I really wanted to kiss this girl but didn't really know how to ask directly. We played 3 games with the “kiss prize”. The second game we played, I held the kiss a bit longer before breaking off. Third game I didn’t stop cause I wanted to see how long before she would stop. She didn’t... So I suggested we go somewhere more quiet…. And the rest is history! (hehe, we actually left in a hurry and forgot to pay for the beers!!)


*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

On another note… just to show I’m working on getting over the one-itis, here’s some update on my attempt on gaming more girls. But just as everyone noticed already, I do like the girl I was initially gaming. In the past I’ve never been able to get the girl I want. So just for that reason I do want to finally get this girl. If I need to practice on other girls to get more confident and calibrated… I am willing to do it. I’ll use this “one” girl to make me push through my AA.

Here’s a few recent approaches… (During the week I don’t have the time to go out to bars or clubs, so I have to do it during my breaks during the day):

1. Lighter excuse + opinion opener
2. Two facebook close (although I can’t find one of them when I search for her)
3. Sat in front of this girl in the library – caught her looking at me, noticed her touching her hair, wanted to open her so badly but didn’t know what to do at the library

Also update on the “one” girl:
She hasn’t contacted me yet, I haven’t contacted her. I have a feeling she is not gonna contact me. Assuming she doesn’t call after a week and I still want to pursue it, how would I proceed? Is sending a blank msg routine good in this situation? I actually got some opinion from these 2 girls (find story below), but not sure if I should just msg to ask about her week… seems kinda needy. Any other suggestions?



If you care to read here are the stories for #1-3 from above:
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1. Two days ago – Walking down the street: I had 1-2 hr to kill for lunch. I decided to go a place a bit far for lunch so I can do some approaches on the street away from where I work. What I learned is that I can’t really open moving targets at this point...
I needed a smoke and I saw this girl smoking by herself, so I thought I would ask her for a light. I was a bit nervous, and when she gave me matches instead of lighter I had trouble lighting it (a bit shaky!). I told her I’d just use her smoke to light mine. While I was doing this her friend came… she had a ligther but by this point I already had my light and had given the cigarette back to the girl. Come to think of it, this turned out to be a funny scenario that I could have capitalized on. I wanted to just ask about my whole situation about the “one” girl and get their opinion about it… but when the friend came, my brain was fumbling, and I ejected early.

Tried it a second time on another girl. This time I went into the opinion opener. She responded and I was in. She got a call from her friend that she was meeting. She told her friend on the phone that she’s talking with “this guy”. Then after hanging up, told me her friend was better at this stuff than she was and that she’s coming to meet her. The friend came… so I caught her up on my situation and asked what she made of it. She told me that “if she likes a guy she would be bothering him on the phone non-stop”. Also she said if she was me she would wait till the end of the week to msg this girl and just ask how her week was, and see how she responds. I was talking to these two girl for 5-7min. At some points I didn’t have any control over the conversation, because they would talk to me, then to each other, then back to me... By this point this guy behind me started calling “hey buddy… hey buddy…” I turn around and the guy starts giving me advice. It took like 10 seconds, but the girls started walking away cause they had to go, and cause this guy started talking. I thank the girls for their help, look the guy in the eyes as he’s talking and tell him “you realize that I was just talking to 2 girls, right?”. Took the guy a few second to get it, but he said: “sorry, I thought they were your friends.” Hehe… the guy had a good laugh though when he did realize.
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2. Yesterday – I’ve been having hard time with presentations for class/work, so I’ve been taking this free course that runs for 4 sessions. There were two girls in the class that I didn’t mind getting to know. I had them in mind from the start of the course 4 weeks ago. This asian girl was always with this one guy and since I only see them during the lecture it was really hard to find out about their relationship, but they would come together and leave together. This other girl sat a bit farther from me (middle row), so couldn’t really talk to her. I only tried to make comments on their presentation, so that I would at least be remembered (and trust me I’m not the type to put up my hand and comment on anything during any event). This was the last session and it was my time to present. I did my practice for the presentation, was extra careful, cause I thought if it goes well it would be some sort of DHV. During a presentation, you’re suppose to make eye contact with the audience, so I made sure to make eye contacts with them! At the end of the class we had to fill out an evaluation of the course and the prof couldn’t be there and asked if someone would volunteer to take the evaluation envelop to the office across the campus. I actually thought that volunteering her would be a good hoop to put up for her to jump through, but since we didn’t know each other that well it wasn’t really appropriate.

Hehe… but she ended up volunteering the guy she was with. He jumped … so I knew he only likes this girl. I asked her about my presentation. She was Korean, so I said hello in Korean, she asked how I know that, I told her blah blah, how I’m actually want to learn it but it’s not going well, blah blah…. Anyways, ended up flirting about the idea of her helping me with my Korean and asked her for facebook. Guess I need to read up on facebook game on this forum!

I couldn’t get my other target cause she left while I was talking to this one, but a third asian chick had asked me how I was before the class while in line for coffee. I had no idea she was in that class, but she was presenting that day too. Now the other two are 7-8. This third one though was a 6. But in the spirit of practicing, I thought I’d ask for her facebook. The thing is, I can’t find her online!!
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3. Today – library. Sat in front of an 8. Went to washroom, came back, when I sat I saw her looking to the left of me, and then I caught her eye (she quickly looked away). She was playing with her hair and occasionally running her fingers through it. I wanted to do something so badly, but it’s the library, so couldn’t really come up with anything that wouldn’t be direct… so opportunity missed!