Hey guys,

I have studied my ass off to become a successful pua. The problem is I am petrified of women. I have traced the root of the problem back to having zero confidence or self-esteem.

What are some ways in which you guys have been able to overcome a lack of self-esteem to get out and approach women?

thank you all

Self-steem?
You gotta be handsome,or rich,or muscular.
otherwise forget about your self steem

I don't really know how to help you overcome your fear but I know a good trick that can help you overcome your lack of self esteem


You will need a piece of paper and a pen!
Now take some time alone and write down all your achievements in life. From the minute you started walking until now. All the things that make you proud of yourself. Take a good thought about it and take your time. Make the biggest possible list that you can ever make. Write even your smallest achievements.
After you finish. READ them.
It will feel great.
NOw take this list and put it in a place that you can see it every day. And read it as often as you can and if you can add some more things on it then do so! And feel even more proud of yourself. This will help as a good ego boost. Day in and day out read it and feel how great you are. Think all the great things a great person like you deserves.

It is then that you will only realise that the only obstacle that you don't have them is the lack of effort to go and get them.

For insecurities:
Stand in front of a mirror. Write down all the things that annoy you. Also take some time and write down the things that annoy you and you cannot see in the mirror =P. Read them. See every point as a problem with a solution. Pick the easiest point in your list and start from there. Even if you don't cross everything in your list thinking about the solutions will make you feel good.

For fear:
Best thing that can help you with any sort of fear is NLP.

------------

Apart from these, as a girl I want to reassure you that we love when men approach us. Even if we say to our gfs that we get annoyed that soooo many men approach us we just love it. Even if we are taken. Even if we don't fancy the guys. We just so love much love it.

And you know what they say, you cannot win if you don't risk to fail!

--------------
To understand more about self esteem check Maslow's pyramid.

You studied, but don't UNDERSTAND.

Here's the answer: Go out, and talk to 10 people a day.


Why? Because I did it.


I said the same thing you said.
I thought the same thing you thought.
I bitched about the same failure you're bitching about.


I went out, which means, you're going to go out.
I let the field give me experience, which means, you will let the field give you experience.
I learned by exposure, which means, you will learn by exposure.


I went, so now, go out and say you went, learned, did, and understood.

Until then, STFU.

Not everyone starts from the same level of confidence.
Each person is unique with different experiences.
He needs a bit of inner work to proceed into this. And reading his other posts I think that if he could read a bit of CBT it would be good.

However yes, going out and actually doing an effort will be beneficial.

[quote="Rune"][quote="Checkfigure1"]Hey guys,

I have studied my ass off to become a successful pua. The problem is I am petrified of women. I have traced the root of the problem back to having zero confidence or self-esteem.

What are some ways in which you guys have been able to overcome a lack of self-esteem to get out and approach women?

thank you all :D[/quote]

You studied, but don't UNDERSTAND.

Here's the answer: Go out, and talk to 10 people a day.


Why? Because I did it.


I said the same thing you said.
I thought the same thing you thought.
I bitched about the same failure you're bitching about.


I went out, which means, you're going to go out.
I let the field give me experience, which means, you will let the field give you experience.
I learned by exposure, which means, you will learn by exposure.


I went, so now, go out and say you went, learned, did, and understood.

Until then, STFU.[/quote]

just a question rune.
are you fucking girls now? N closing? K closing?

Build it this way...

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=626071598

Thank you all very much for your replies

Thinking back, there are some moments in my life where I have felt a sense of accomplishment. The problem with my self-esteem is I was raised having very little to none. When people in my life would wonder what was wrong with me, it would make me feel that much worse, having the expectation of others. I developed a very timid and shy persona to protect myself from pain of low self-esteem.

Where is a good place to learn NLP tactics?

I visited this forum to post something new on confidence.

I´ve been thinking about this topic for a long time, and found out that it all comes down to a couple of things.

I´m going to break it down for you right away, you can ask yourself if this makes sense.

1. First, you gotta believe in yourself.
This means, you believe in your core. You are fully aware of your own capability.
Hard to describe.
The gut feeling that you have about you, that you are going to handle whatever happens. I think that is the core of self confidence.

2. Being aware of your own self worth
If you were to stop and ask yourself a question, what do we people find valuable in life? Money, jewlery, precious moments.
But these are all external things or events.
I think the highest level you can achieve is to realize that you are the most valuable person, thing, moment in life. Your heart, body and soul, your mind is the most valuable in your life.
Self- value.

Most people have external self value, wich means that they determine the value of a person by the things he has valueable in his life. Maybe an expensive watch, a car, a fancy suit, expensive vacation etc.

What you need to do is change that to internal self value. Where you will determine the value of a person by his character traits.

Good way to achieve this, is to go to work on your character and develop it. Than you will find out how hard it is to have character and you will change your focus from external to internal.

I think your problem with women is that you dont believe in yourself and you are not aware of your own value as a HUMAN BEING.

3. Self-deserving
Whenever you feel unvaluable you dont feel like you deserve something. Like when you see a hot woman, you feel fear, but underneath it all is your feeling that you dont deserve her anyway. She probably wants rich guy with good looks.
Im not that guy (Identifying your own self worth by external things, events)

So say a lot to yourself things like: "I´m no different than that guy, I deserve that too"

4 . RESPECT YOURSELF

What is respect? Check online. Study it. What would you do, if you had total respect for yourself?

QUESTONS TO ASK YOURSELF
- How do you behave toward someone that you respect a lot?
- Could you behave toward yourself like that?
- Why do you respect that guy?
- Do you posess the same qualities?
- Could you develop them so they shine?
- What could you do to develop that qualities in yourself?
- How would you feel if you already had that qualities?

Treat yourself with respect. Respect your time, dont waste it.
Respect your proprety, dont ruin it.
Respect your family, your relationships. They are YOURS.

I hope that helps.

Take care

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