| This is a kind of a long post, but I truly feel it will help a lot of people, and the ideas expressed here do not seem to have been discussed before.
We are probably all registered on this website because we don't feel we are good with women, or at least, would greatly appreciate more of them in our life.
In our reform, one of the first things we are taught is that 'nice guys finish last', and the key to improving is to throw away all our 'nice guy' attributes and replace them with more 'dominant', 'teasing' or many other such attributes, many of which, as expected, are not exactly synonymous with the word 'nice'.
It is relevant to mention that as I child up until early adolescence, I was quite impulsive, and because I believed that this distanced people, I learned to control this tendency.
During those years of impulsivity, my popularity with the ladies was almost an oxymoron. I had no success with them. Turning 16 and being a lot less impulsive, things between me and girls still hadn't budged, I still hadn't gotten a girlfriend.
Now I am 24, and surprisingly, things have turned around, By now, I had slept with several girls and dated a few. While this was progress, it was hardly a transformation. I didn't feel I had 'cracked' women's attraction, let alone that this was even possible, (which I still kinda believe :p). Also, many who I believe had less to offer the opposite sex, were actually getting a lot more girls.
While I had heard about Pick Up Art for a long time, I was incredibly skeptical,
Recently, I gave in and acknowledged that there was nothing to lose. Soon thereafter, I convinced myself that I will devote a real effort and suspend questioning my progress until at least a few months, hopefully even two years as those self-proclaimed gurus recommended. Fixing this was my top priority, and talking to lots of women at bars will teach me a great deal either way.
A few months have passed, and I have progressed a great deal with relatively little effort. Yet what happened a few days ago was the tipping point. I f*closed an outgoing and assertive HB8, sameday. The button? likely my responses to her barrage of shit tests and my own completely improvisational negs, but you never really know. Somehow, after the day was over, I had lost interest in her.
I wonder why I felt this way, but I suspect I kinda lost respect for her for falling for some negs, or for giving me a little bit more shit tests than usual. Perhaps I felt she was insecure because of these two reasons.
Now I explain my problem with PUA methods that has been in the back of my mind for quite sometime.
I have a hard time believing somebody that he is into PUA for the sex. Don't get me wrong, I love sex, but one night stands, lacking in intimacy and attraction, are second grade lays. To me, even sleeping with a prostitute could probably more fun. Prostitutes are chosen to look better, fuck better, and are often attracted to their customers and might even screen them accordingly. What I am essentially trying to say is that as much as sex is great, but I believe a fulfilling relationship is what we desire and need. There is a strong evolutionary argument supporting that, and it is also evident from the personal lives of men whom women drool over.
It is hard to think of any actor for instance that hasn't been in a long term relationship. Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and also basketball players who may have slept with 20,000 women, all settle down at some point with a single woman often for years. We shouldn't doubt these men's ability to pull an attractive women any night of the week, especially when we believe that with persistence, many of us mere mortals could approach that.
Back to the main point, while negging does indeed work and will get you laid 100 times if you really want to, I don't believe we could desire further involvement with women who fall for them. After all, we would be lying to ourselves that beauty is all that counts. Like our female counterparts, we also strongly respond to confidence. Don't get me wrong, looks reign supreme in their capability to stir our attraction, but confidence and some character are those dressings that could also tip the scales.
Women who respond to negs (with attraction or resentment) are not the most confident chicks at the bar. In reality, these women are not much different from our own insecure pals when they are jokingly put down or teased. Making fun or 'negging' an insecure man might trigger resentment and sometimes, a feeling of inferiority. If men do feel inferior to other men, they will desire their alliance and friendship. After all, no man wants to befriend a Beta. No man wants to befriend another that is insecure, needy and calls all the time. We are not that different from our female counterparts, the guy that gets the girl, is the guy you want to know. Yet, in dealing with women, we easily forget what we learn from our male friends. The man who constantly puts down others is often not the true alpha of the group. The true alpha does deprecate others, and is unresponsive to deprecating comments directed toward him. People generally feel good about themselves around him, he is 'nice' in a way, yet still manages bed many women. This is the source of 'the nice guy finishes first' title, which I believe we all know but choose to ignore for some reason, however darn obvious this is.
If you don't believe me, think well about all you've known who get more 'the most bang for their buck'. Men whose personality allows them to date women well beyond there level as determined by their non-character traits (money, looks, height, etc). Indeed, anybody who has seen interviews of Tommy Lee, a guy who has been involved with some of the most beautiful women in the world, would be surprised how much of a down to earth, 'nice' guy he is. The world of celebrities is replete with similar examples.
We forget that true strength IS really gentle and kind. Look at international politics, as a non-American living in the US I can attest that the US is one of the most tolerant of societies. Nevertheless, it is probably the most country criticized and resented abroad, ultimately a testament to its power. I don't think many hate chants are directed towards the failed state of Zimbabwe.
What I am trying to say is true negging could be incredibly effective to sleeping with more women, but these are the ones you don't want to be involved with and will you will loose respect for them for being easily wooed by our negging anyhow. Negging will also work against you in the eyes of the highest quality girls that every man wants to be with. Strauss mentioned in 'the game' how he wasn't attracted to any of the girls he was shagging (which I believe he says reached 8 or 9 simultaneously towards the end of his sarging days). Nevertheless, his attraction was finally sparked by Lisa who wasn't responding to the negs and was actually slightly turned off by them he acknowledges. Again, there are countless examples of this and Neil's attraction to this reaction is only natural.
So if by nice guy we mean somebody who is actually agreeable and doesn't try to make people feel bad about themselves, then being 'nice' could only help. We make this mistake I believe because a lot of the time, people will adopt more pleasant personality traits out of insecurity and need for approval. Also, quite often, insecurity will be propped up by convincing others of their lower value, who are insecure enough to believe so. I am starting to believe that playing with girls insecurities will not get you the confident ones u are after.
So the next time she shit tests you, don't respond at all and understand that the shit test is likely an IOI. Responding (even to convince her otherwise) can only mean that you do in fact care that she thinks positively of you. Remain completely unresponsive to her pipeline of shit tests and you come closer to her vagina with each one.
If you are a [i]true[/i] PUA however you WILL actually respond. You will calmly pull yourself away and not waste any more time on her, she is not right for you...
[i]This is my only post on any forum since joining the community and summarizes my viewpoint so far.
Comments, especially disagreeing ones, are appreciated. I really do want to improve...[/i]
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CHAT
