I'm not totally sure where to put this but this i think is the closest one.

so here's the story: I was just getting into this stuff in June (!!). I was at a party where i met this totally gorgeus girl, a total 10. i can remember the first interaction:
i was outside with 2 guys. she arrives with her friend and suddenly my mates are gone and i'm left alone.

so she says to me: "why aren't you running?"
ME: "i was going to, but couldn't decide which one to follow, but yes, i am afraid of girls"

We all laugh and go inside. i basically just hang out with my buddies but i get into this conversation with her and she's immediately testing me full-on, asking me all kinds of funny questions and such. all i could think of is just lay back, laugh and answer truthfully. I noticed she was into me, but didn't do much about it.

so after the party i added her on my facebook. and man, we've had so much fun. can't remember how it all got started but her and i have been having this thing going on that we are a couple but we're not getting along that well and need therapy. this has been going on for 2 months!!! She's totally into that whole scenario and i now she enjoys it alot. so i asked her out pretty quickly after the party. the very morning we were supposed to meet, she bails out saying an urgent thing just came up and she needs to go to another city or whatever. i just say "ok, maybe another time then". after that we've chatted on fb and every once in a while i've tried to ask her out real casually, like: "hey what are you doing on tuesday, there's this great gig i wanna go to. care to join?" i've done this about 3-4 times, she's always had something in the way.

today i said to her: "ok this is the last time i'm gonna ask. my friends are playing earth wind & fire music today, wanna go?"

she was like "shit already made other plans, but i'm free next week."
ME: "that's ok. i'm busy monday and tuesday"
she: "and i'm busy friday and sunday"
ME: "it's going to be wednesday or thursday, which one?"
she: "i'll take wed."
ME: "great! leave the evening unscheduled"

so FINALLY i've gotten a date with her. I now she likes me in some level, we've flirted a lot on facebook and she's always been very much into the whole relationship roleplay. i don't know if she's gonna flake out again. if she does, that's it.

so the date. here's what i'm going through in my head:

- i know she likes me, because all of the facebook stuff that's been going on.
- she's stunning but i need to be un-intiminated by her beauty.
- i get a feeling of a BIG DATE, but i realize that's a loser mindset to be in, so i struggle not to think that.

Any tips from you guys? what do you think that after about 2 months she is still into meeting me? what to do on a date? any advice and/or questions will be appreciated

- J

So finally we met! And i tell you, it was great

First thing that comes to mind is that i should've bounced her, but then again i did ok otherwise. We got along really well, talked about all sorts of stuff. She pointed out all the time how we match somehow. she said stuff like:

- our signs are the best for a relationship (i'm a leo she's an aries).
- she kept talking about her ex's and found similarities to me. (i know that this is a sign of intrest)
- we had a bit of flirting, but not that much kino. i kinda touched her hair. actually i touched her head teasing that there's nothing in there, cause she's a blonde. no resistance.

so these i think were the main points:

- after the small talk she asked me "so who are you really" i kept a fun intresting monologue about myself.

- we started talking about how we like shopping for clothes and she said something like: i would love somebody to go shopping with me. and she proposed that we'd go shopping in copenhagen together. I said: "i'm serious, i'd love to go shopping in copenhagen"

- after we parted she said that: "i'm surprised how much fun it was, i thought i'd be too tired after work to be good company"

- i said that hey let's warm up someday and go shopping in Helsinki someday. She replied instantly that she's busy: "i'm on a golfing trip until sunday" i replied with: "well i'm stuck until next thursday but definately let's do a shopping trip"

on occasion she started talking about kissing and i replied playfully "oh, don't move so fast" and she replied "well, we're not moving anywhere" - that's kinda bummer answer.

but all in all we had great discussions, we really got to know each other and we had a ton of fun with lots of smiles and laughter. a good time.

whaddaya think?

EDIT: dunno if this is just me with my inexperience and kinda low self-esteem, but i got a little bit of that feeling that she wanted to keep this on a friend-basis. on the other hand i am going to find out where we are on this, and also i don't mind THAT much.

Care to elaborate on the kiss talk? Sounds interesting, and maybe you missed an open window there.

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Mungo's presentation:
here-vp376783.html#376783

Looks like you are getting into LJBF zone. Sorry about that. You should have kinoed. After reading a lot of shit, I found that, if you have a "I don't give a fuck attitude", you can get any girl!! My 2 cents....

I think so too. Now, be quick! Mend this before she officially files you in the friends archive!

Text her, do whatever, just do it in a sexual way. Don't give her the chance of ever thinking about you as a friend.

And do it now.

_________________
Mungo's presentation:
here-vp376783.html#376783

And hey, don't be afraid to cross the line. All you have to lose is a friend that you don't need.

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Mungo's presentation:
here-vp376783.html#376783

Thanks guys for your opinions.

I teased her two times with a kiss talk. The first one was that she started talking about it (can't remember exactly what she said) and i replied that "hold your horses, let's not move so fast here" And she kinda snapped back at me that "we're not moving anywhere" .. That one threw me off for a short while.

We talked more and i wanted her to taste my drink and i have quick routine i use with this while she's grabbing my drink and having a zip, i say: "you know i've always wondered why people are afraid of drinking from the same glass. i actually have a rule of thumb for this: if you could kiss the person, you can drink from the same glass" and as i say the last line i look at her in the eyes and smile. she used her straw and when i said it she started laughing, not in a weird way but a good sincere laugh.

You both are absolutely right, although i don't think i've lost it yet. But i need to spice up the thing with some sexual flirting. I am trying to play it smooth and cool and not look too interested before we meet next time. I get a feeling that being too anxious at the moment will ruin it. My friend always says to me that often the best thing you can do is wait just a bit longer. But as you said, i've really got nothing to lose here than a friend i really don't want.

btw do you have any good lines for a smooth sms'? and what are your opinions on texting, do you wait a few days or not?

I've planned out the next meeting already, we're going shopping. That's a really nice environment for kino and flirting. plus it's fun for the both of us.

I dont know, maybe you should take command and NOT go shopping with her. She's bringing you along on friends activities, by the way that it sounds to me. No, come up with an excuse for why you can't go shopping with her but ask her out or to your place instead. And be sexual.

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Mungo's presentation:
here-vp376783.html#376783

I think what you did here is wrong
1. If she compares you to her ex this isn't necessarily a good thing they are ex's for a reason.

2. Don't ever agree to go shopping with a girl you like if you have not made any progress sexually like a kiss or making sure she knows your intentions. If you do end up going shopping with her you've got to stay in control. If she wants to go into a shop say ok but you got to do something for me.

3. If she mentions kissing don't say 'we moving too fast' your not going to make any progress you could have said something along the lines of you don't look like a very good kisser and this will lead to a kiss.

You need to not focus on one girl, if you do this not only will you get better but fixating on one girl always ends bad and trust me you will get nothing. Think about it if a HB10 is interested in you straight off the bat then you definitely should not have low-esteem you can get any girl you want. Btw if your scared giving kino because she might not like it you can always say sorry I can't control myself and keep doing it.

This is just what I may have done but everyone has their own style.

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My Journal here-vp590119.html#590119

double post.... see below.

I'm gonna have to disagree on a few occasions here.

firstly, it's happened to me many times that when a girl talks about her ex's, she's kinda comparing you and the deeper level of communication is that she's unconciously seeing you as potential and comparing it to past companions.

secondly i personally LOVE shopping. I'm really picky and have no problem saying my opinions. I love to shop clothes, and i have a very highly tuned taste for them. on a date it's much better to do something than to sit. but still in some point i'm going to lead the interaction into coffee or food, none of which i'm going to pay for. so i'm gonna have a great time, doing stuff i like to do on my own. i have HUGE and easy natural chances to kino escalate:

opening the door for her and softly touching her on the back and leading her in,

i'm gonna ask her to try on some coats and undress hers and help put the new one on. this is when i can lift her hair from underneath the new coat . this is huge

if we find great new pieces, we can give ourselves a high-5 or a congratulation hug.

right as we meet i am going to make the plan on what stores we're going to visit. it will involve her, and we are going to visit shops that she wants to go, but i don't. these are the places for my kino, me being picky and teasing on her taste for clothing. it's all planned out in my head.

the thing that you are absolutely right on is the sexual communication which i'll start tonight i think, with sms'.

keep those opinions comin'!