i dont know how i got here but its fucked up... i got into a really bad routine and i have no motivation to get out of the damn routine. its been 3 years now....
This is what i do: wake up at 12.00 in the morning, i eat, play video games, surf on interent,eat,shit,sleep...and so on.
(im 19 years old, 5'11feet tall , know how to dress) im aware that i wasted my teen years home playing games and that makes me very depressed and frustrated.
i came to a point when i wanted to take suicide but then i discovered on the internet a bartender school in mallorca ( spain) and i said fuck it, ill go there.
it was the best thing that happend to me and i said to myself, when ill get home ill find bartender job, make new friends, get a girlfriend...but once i was home agian i felt back to my old routine.
Im so depressed beacuse i have no motivation to change my self and im so damn negativ and have AA too. its so fucked up.
heres the 3 tings that ruins me:
* No motivation at all
* Always negativ
* AA yeah im a pussy.

anyone know how to get out of this routine?

All you have to do is change, it doesn't matter if your unmotivated or playing video games all day. Get your ass up and meet people, work on grooming yourself, body language, voice tone. Get out of the house and fucking make friends.
It's not hard, its just you have to change.
Get in the social world dammit!

Small steps to success bro. Each day take a small step to being more productive and social. Each day add to what you did the previous day. Set a plan for the next 30 days, and hold to it.