picking-up a girl wit a bf



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 7:20 pm 
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so i got an interestin case, but i seriously need some help with this, because its not the usual pick-up case (although its not that uncommon).

Ive been hangin out wit this girl alot [girl A], and i think its to the point where she wants to go out wit me (she holds on to my arm while watchin movies and stuff). And to be honest, she's adorable like a little sis but I don't want anything more than just a friendly relationship. But, she has a friend, and this girl [girl B] is very cute!
Girl B and I met every once in awhile over the last year, like once every 3 months or so (during exam periods in univ), and everytime we meet, she gave me so any IOIs: constant eye contact, constantly askin me random questions about diff things, and etc). But then, my friend girl A tells me she has a bf. And indeed, she does, because after about the 3rd time i saw her, she was tellin me how her bf is studyin music and stuff.

So at this point, let me quickly explain my image to these girls. They think im an extremely cocky guy who goes gambling everyday, smokes weed, and goes and picks up girls from clubs almost every weekend.
Do I? no, not really. Im actually very shy inside, but i have managed to work up this image to this group by forcefully makin me say very cocky things, and while i do go gambling once a week, i rarely smoke weed or go clubbing.

And these girls, well, they are just school girls who dont go clubbing or anything like that. I guess you can call them innocent lil girls lol
And the bf of girl B is out of the country at the moment, and has been out for the last 2 months. I dont think the relationship is anything great at all, but they have been going out for about a year or so.

So after seeing her every once in awhile, last week I got to see her almost everyday. We went to watch a movie one day, then we went to watch fireworks the next day(with a group of friends of course). On the first day, girl B was extremely friendly again, just randomly comin up to me and asking me questions, and constantly catchin each other looking.
but then, on the 2nd day, she was barely talkin to me and didnt act like anything before (no more eye contact, no more random chats, no more smiling).
And I also saw her randomly on the 3rd day, because I went to this bazaar-kind of place, and we accidently ran into each other (of course, i was too noob/shy to do anything other than say hi and try to act cool by walkin off).

So that is the basic story. I know its long, sorry about that guys. I'm just wondering what I should do.
She seems to be interested in me, but maybe not? I dont really understand. If I can, I would love to go out with this girl, even though I would feel bad for the bf.
So please provide me with your opinions on the matter, or an advice!
I think i have 2-3 weeks before the bf comes back, but I honestly dont think they have a healthy relationship.

THANKS A BAZILLION GUYS


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:50 am 
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Well here is a bit of my opinion and let it be known that my personal motto is who gives a sh!t if she has a boyfriend go for it! Ill try and keep this short...

Anyway it sounds like you should have tried to established something new and relevant or DHVed yourself when you last saw her at that "weird location" or whatever you described. By saying nothing your coming off as either insecure or your not busy enough to have anything new to tell her etc. I dont know what the exact situation was though...

Im all about making yourself relevant though because despite what most guys think girls dont remember every text or conversation-Its all about whats new what do you have goin on, where can you take her etc.

Now for closing this girl will Girl A your friend who gives you IOI's and holds your hand know about this? Obviously so it seems. SO if you were planning on maybe taking things from friends to more than just friends with her that will not be an option in you get her friend....keep this in mind.

Also you did not mention you have # closed your target. If you have set up a Starbucks or date immediately of your choice-just dont do a movie or something where its hard to escalate.

If you do not have her # yet you should be able to see her reaction when you go for it. Read her body language that will tell you whats up and escalate things by being a "touchy guy" and putting your hand on her shoulder or hair and caressing her etc.

The fact that she has a BF shouldnt be a problem at all if youve got game. If a girl sees that Im confident and is down the whole "did (friend) tell you I have a boyfriend?" will stop and setting up the date will be whats up.

If it doesnt work no sweat-always remember its her loss! and move on to the next 1! Hope this helps!

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:32 pm 
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thanks a lot Mysterious for the help!

I haven't # closed with this girl, simply because there wasn't a situation I can do this in.
I can only see this girl through a group of friends (which includes girl A), and they all have a playboy image of me. So if I try to make a move on a her, or try to get her number in front of them, i think most of em will be very disapproving, especially since they know I know that she has a bf. Like I said, all of these guys, including the group and girls A and B, are one of those, really nice and "innocent" ppl.

god damn it, what am I suppose to do? Just ignore the thoughts of the group?
Fuck, and if she breaks up just for me, there's gonna be quite a drama, and ppl will blame me for being selfish or w/e.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:39 pm 
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Disarm her friends, pull her aside and go for the kill dude. Otherwise, move on to the next. Get outisde your head... you'll be surprised and don't be a wuss when you are going to try to make a move just do it.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 1:55 am 
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"they all have a playboy image of me"

If so, it might not suprise them. In fact, # closing B infront of A might make both want to compete for you.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 8:45 am 
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Thanks for the advices guys, but it's not so great at the moment.
Analyze this texting convo we've had please.

DAY 1 (after we've had one msn convo the night before)
Me: [i made some random joke, forgot]
Girl: "Oh Dear... i hope i will not regret giving my number to you hahah where did you go?"
Me: "Think of the coolest place a guy like me would go to, and times that by 10. That's where I'll be"
Girl: "does such a place exist on earth?"
Me: "Usually not, but wherever I go, it kinda becomes extremely cool"
Girl: "that's some ego you have there hahah guess i should hang out with you more and hope that ur coolness will rub off on me.."
Me: "are you sure? ur ego might skyrocket so high that normal guys wont be able to approach you afterwards"
Girl: "being cool doesn't necessarily come with a giant ego.. and i don't need any normal guys to approach me now... so this could be a good way to ward them off :)"
Me: "haha we'll see. Anyway i gotta get goin, so sleep tight, and ill see you soon"
Girl: "hopefully by soon you didn't mean in anyone's dreams.. and how did you know i was going to sleep? O_O"
Me: "Oh, didn't i mention i'm psychic? Make sure you don't dream about me, yet ;)"
Girl: "... is scared >< g'nite before i have nightmares.. and don't even think abt invading my brain while i'm sleeping.. my psychic powers > urs.. you will fail.."
Me: "lol good night sweetie"
Girl: "oh god *shudders*"

DAY 2
Me: "oh man.. i couldn't sleep at all. It's all your fault"
Girl: "you were thinkin abt weird things... weren't you?'
Me: "hey hey, i dont need to imagine weird things with you.. i just need to wait a bit ;)"
Girl: "i never mentioned anything to do with me in ur imagination.. and now ur msgs are getting kinda.. creepy :S"

ALRIGHT, ill end it there. After that last msg, i basically panicked because i was completely offguard to receive that, and i wrote some rly dumb texts tellin her to not take my words too seriously, and i also APOLOGIZED LOL
I know you guys will say I made a mistake in day 2 by acting like i'm constantly thinking about her and stuff, but I THOUGHT I got over that needing-to-act-like-i-dont-care phase from the texting the night before.
Obviously not..
I really thought, at the end of DAY 1, i had this girl. I mean, sure, the last msg by me could seem a little creepy, but if she DID like me, she definitely wouldn't have called me creepy or replied in such a glum way.

And let's just say, ever since day 2 (which was about 4 days ago) we haven't talked very much. And she's nowhere near as engaging as did on facebook, msn, and texting BEFORE day 2.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 9:34 pm 
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Not gonna lie dude, but your day 2 messages did get kinda creepy from her perspective. Not sure if you did this but before you send messages like that, make sure you and the girl have a connection and the she sees you as a potential sexual partner. Otherwise, it would come off creepy. I would have kept it playful and less sexual: like texting her saying "this reminded me of you" and send her a picture of either a goofy looking animal or something cute, then steer the conversation to something else shortly after.

And she hasn't been talking to you lately? Maybe you turned her off. I'm not that experienced so I wouldn't know how to recover from that. But anyway, you just have to reach a point of confidence and not go overboard without building a connection first. AND NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR ACTIONS/WORDS, with a few exceptions lol.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 11:22 pm 
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just my 2 cents here-

i think you had her going up and even wanted to hang out until...

Girl: "that's some ego you have there hahah guess i should hang out with you more and hope that ur coolness will rub off on me.."
Me: "are you sure? ur ego might skyrocket so high that normal guys wont be able to approach you afterwards"
Girl: "being cool doesn't necessarily come with a giant ego.. and i don't need any normal guys to approach me now... so this could be a good way to ward them off "
Me: "haha we'll see. Anyway i gotta get goin, so sleep tight, and ill see you soon"
Girl: "hopefully by soon you didn't mean in anyone's dreams.. and how did you know i was going to sleep? O_O"


here- i think you should have continued to neg this chick because she sounded a bit too playful for me. i neg the sht out of it until she says something like "dont me mean" or "youre goal is to annoy me huh? good job" then i turn it down a few notches, give some indirect compliments and be alot more playful. i think this is where you effed it up. you became too creepy wo building enough comfort/attraction and she flipped it on you.

this part was good

**Me: "Oh, didn't i mention i'm psychic?***

this part killed it**Make sure you don't dream about me, yet** "

Girl: "... is scared >< g'nite before i have nightmares.. and don't even think abt invading my brain while i'm sleeping.. my psychic powers > urs.. you will fail.."
Me: "lol good night sweetie"
Girl: "oh god *shudders*"

on day 2 this continues...

you need to turn this around around quickly because now shes shit testing you. ignore the test shits...neg and dhv!! no creepy sexual moves/comments yet...be patient until you have her eating out of your hand, its obvious then move forward with the kill...etc...

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People who say "dont look for love, let love find you..." dont have any f*ckin' game.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 8:24 pm 
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Using the word "yet" at the end of

Oh, didn't i mention i'm psychic? Make sure you don't dream about me, yet

Calling her "sweetie"

"I just need to wait a bit"

And all of the winking smilies... Way too much IOI from you to her.


She needs to feel like she needs your approval, to work for you. A quick hint here and there that she isn't in the "Friends zone" is necessary so she knows her effort isn't in vain, but all of the other stuff just makes you sound like you NEED her.


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