I am terrified to approach women. There are probably many reasons for this. I really want to become a great PUA. So please see if you can help me identifiy areas that have caused me problems that I can fix.

When I was growing up, I always felt that if I liked girls or whatever, my parents would make fun of me and possibly not love me anymore. I know now that is the furthest thing from the truth, but at the time I subconsciously thought that. Along with that, my father was never good at talking to women. I thought my family would think less of me if I talked to women. So I seldom ever talked to a female during my years in school. I always loved women and wanted badly to be able to talk to them.

Late in high school I said fuck it and a friend hooked me up with my first girlfriend. Since I had such a low self-esteem growing up, I never thought I was worthy to get this girl so I did everything I could not to loose her. The relationship was toxic and eventually ended several years later. Through various friends, I was able to land a couple other girls who I stayed with much longer than I should have, because of lack of self-esteem.

At the end of one of those relationships, I was inspired to search the venusian arts. It has changed my life. I study my ass off. Yet the problem is I cannot bring myself to approach women. I have that deeply embedded fear that I was conditioned with. I want soooo badly to overcome this and I need help. I appreciate any advice you guys could help me with!

thanks

Start off with super baby steps:
the-newbie-mission-vt41556.html

I like this mission, but even that was too tough for me at first, now it's basically auto pilot for me.

How I started off was simply going around and asking every possible women I could find for the time. Hot, ugly, fat, thin, old, young, 2 sets, 3 sets, mixed sets, etc. Forced myself to make eye contact with the person I was speaking to. NO ONE WILL PUNISH YOU FOR WANTING TO KNOW THE TIME. Once you've realized that women follow the exact same social norms as you do, you'll realize that it isn't that bad approaching them.

Now, in the back of your head, you may still have AA just because you're asking for the time with an ulterior motive... you HAVE TO push through that, I did it and it felt amazing. Who knew asking for the time could make you feel so good? =)

The other day I tried out your advice. I asked a random girl directions. She gave me a smile and it totally boosted my self-esteem. So today I try to open more people and I totally chickened out. My mind tells me that something bad will happen and I end up not doing it. It is so frusturating!

How long does it take to get desensitized to approaching HB's? I opened chicks about HB 5 and got good responses.

thanks

Ross Jeffries- "What's the worst thing that could happen if you approach a beautiful woman? She can't shut every vagina in the world on you"



Just talk to everyone. Everyone.

I used to be terrified of approaching woman, now i have approached 100s
what clicked to make me want to approach? ill share it with you

When I see an attractive girl something inside me says shit i want to go up and talk to her, but i never would go up to her because i was "scared" / afraid something bad would happen.

We fear things because its our bodys way to prevent us from getting hurt and something bad happening. Thats when i realised something... when ever i didnt approach I felt like shit after, like a depressing feeling inside as if i was worthless.
I did feel bad and i didnt understand why because i had responded to my fear and not done the approach. Not approaching is harmful man, it makes you feel less and less valuable and then when 1 girl comes along you get desperate and hooked on to her.

You need to understand that approaching HELPS YOU, it is GOOD for you. The only thing that is hindering you is YOU. By approaching you will get results, and with each one you become more confident and develop the skillset of PUA.

We are educated at a young age to thnk girls have cooties and what not, and that guys and girls should sleep seperately, hang in seperate groups. This becomes so ingraved that you dont realise it still effects you now.

To get rid of it you have to burst out of your FAKE REALITY, people are just people, the worst thing that can happen is you are laughed at, and then that never happens again because you know what you did wrong.

I recomend doing the "Demonic confidence" programme its an audio e book by lucas west, this will really teach you how to approach chicks and you will quickly get over AA.

The most important thing to remember when doing these baby steps is just to remember you dont know these people and they dont know you.

What is the worst case scenario of you approaching some people and asking for the time or directions etc?

The worst possibilites are:
They give u a disgusted look and dont answer or tell u to leave
(Wow thats a really nice person whos opinion is obviously important =/ )

They turn out to be a crazy person and start shouting at you in the middle of the street!
(This is actually a good thing. Something for you to talk to other people about thats funny)

At the end of the day if you ask lots of people for the time or directions almost all of them will be glad to help. The few that arent just aint nice people, but at least you've still practice meeting assholes and know what to expect from them.

jazz - epic inspiration. thanks

Thank you all for the advice

I want badly to approach women, but I just can not force myself to do it. The few times I have done it, I always was happy with myself for doing an approach that I bailed out of the set early.

I am going to try to force myself to do an approach today, I will let you guys know what happens!

thanks

The part of you that tries to make you nervous of approaching women, It means well it protected your gene line for 200,000 years,it isn't required now.The only power it has is what you give it.It can't make you jump in front of a bus or jump off a cliff.If Bill Gates walked up to you and said "hey dude here is a million dollars if you approach that HB over there" you would have zero approach anxiety,your buddies wouldn't even be told hold you back from approaching so the power is there inside you.Next time you feel AA simply say to yourself "you have no power over me!" Why? because it's true dude.

You've had a long term girlfriend and several other flings. That's more than many of us newbies can say. Keep at it, small baby steps like the first guy suggested, and you'll do just fine. Always remember that there's literally 3 billion other fish in the sea and that YOU are the prize.

Stop thinking about it as 'anxiety'. Even calling the sensation you experience prior to initiating a conversation approach anxiety frames the situation in a negative way.

Why not approach excitement? or how about just excitement? It's exciting to meet new people, in fact it's down right exhilarating, it makes my heart beat a little faster and focuses my mind.

When you change the way you look at things, things change. This principle, in my opinion, is incredibly powerful, and while it was presented to me in various forms throughout my life I never really understood it. I'm not sure why it started to click for me when other guys in the community would talk about frame, or the power of a positive, outcome independent attitude, but it did.

If you can learn to transform the way you view the various situations you encounter, I guarantee you will be surprised at how much happier and more successful your life will be.

Had a huge letdown today

I have taken all of your wonderful advice and gave myself a good pep talk before I went out sarging today at a local college today. I was totally ready to do some approaches.

The first girl I see, is in the library on a computer doing some work. I wasn't sure if I should approach or not. After a minute I had strong anxiety and I decided against doing it.

Two HB's were walking out to the parking lot. I was unsure how to approach them, since they were moving.

These two missed opportunities got me feeling down on myself for passing them up. I realized my emotional state was in bad condition. I couldn't get up the courage from that point to try anymore approaches today. It is horrible feeling like you mentioned feeling worthless for not doing approaches.

What do you guys do to recover from that horrible feeling?

thanks

If you swift the goal from approaching to succeed and get the girl into just approaching a girl half of your anxiety will be gone.

The outcome doesn't matter. Just approach and say hello. Get used to the idea of saying hello. Don't go there for flirting. Go there for talking.

After you make that "big" step you will find the courage to do all the rest.

Best of luck.

Think of your first approach as the make it or break it.
Unless you have had LOTs of approaching practice, you have to push yourself.
It would have been easy as saying, Hey, can I use this computer? ... sure its stupid shes on the computer, but now you've started the conversation you can keep it going.

Push yourself man, opening aint shit. Opening has no reflection on how good you are with girls, all it says is that you can go up to a random person on the street and say hello... its just being social.

Trust me your not getting your dick sucked for saying hello. so push through the basics learn the skills so your dick will be getting sucked soon enough, dont waste time.

TIP:
Id print out this page of comments, and keep it in your car.. right before you go sarging read this list of comments as well as your responses.

On an end note... opening aint shit.
Good luck

Thank you guys for your help

I realize my problem isn't approaching women, but the fear of them rejecting me! Thanks for helping me realize that.

What do you guys suggest for opening without being shot down?

thanks