So there’s this girl I’ve been seeing recently and for some reason or another she’s gone cold on me. I first met her about 6-7 years ago in school but ran into her for the first time since then about a month ago. She noticed I was totally different than the way I used to be both physically and socially. So I used the cocky funny, push-pull, “you’re a brat, like a little sister” route and it worked like a charm.

Throughout the night I was able to display: my leader of men trait, my pre-selection trait, my protector of loved ones trait and my spontaneity traits to name a few so I was able to number close her. Our day two went really well, I had run kino from the very first moment we had “re-met” so it wasn’t a big deal. We had a very adventurous and random/spontaneous date and she loved it! We got back to her place, built some comfort and eventually we made out. I ran all kinds of kino/touching and brushing but I couldn’t escalate any further because eventually she said she had work in the morning(it was like 3AM) and she had to kick me out.

We set up a follow up date and hung out but she was very cold with me. I ran kino and she was comfortable with it, laying together on the couch but for some reason she wouldn’t kiss me. I feel like I made myself too accessible or available for her. When I went to leave, I went to kiss her goodbye but she said she had bad breath and was tired. I told her it didn’t matter but she still said good night. I felt like it was finished right then and there, as though my window of opportunity had closed but I didn’t want to make it a big deal since that isn’t the kind of person I am so I left without creating a show.

Since then I’ve given her less attention via text and have been a bit cold in return. Every time I give her a little more attention, I feel like she loses a bit more interest. For example, she’ll text me randomly with “what up” and I’ll wait a while and respond with what I’m doing so as not to convey too much interest, she’ll then respond with “I’m bored, watching TV”. When I respond with let’s do something, she might not respond or wait until the next morning to respond. It’s almost as if my responses are only to validate her or make her feel like I’m under her thumb. I’ve decided I’m going to be busy for a while but I’m curious to know if anyone has any other ideas. Any good ideas?

_________________
Am I supposed to remain celibate while I bask in like the warm glow of your annihilating contempt?
-Dex, The Tao of Steve

yeah I know what you are talking about. Girls tend to do that.

The only solution for this is just to go cold yourself and move on. Like move on in your life. If you have other girls (good thing if you do) spend more time with them/focus on them. Otherwise focus on hobbies and interests. Whatever you do don't send a text or call unless she sent one first. Even if she sends one first, wait a bit to respond (not too long) but maybe half a day or something. Then she'll probably come back to you.

The reason is if you give a girl more attention than she's giving you she's going to loose interest fast.

This happens with guys too, like imagine if a girl is always texting and calling you ect even if your somewhat into her. Wouldn't it get routine/less interesting to you after a week if you can always predict what she's going to do and when she'll respond ect? You'll find yourself taking longer to respond to her ect. or putting her on hold. However if she's the opposite then it gets you wondering ect which is what your doing now. Just do the same back to her. Try to put yourself in her shoes or switch roles ect and if you'd get less interested if she was doing the same amount back, your texting/calling too much.

Just take a break for a bit and let her start sending some responses on her own. If she doesn't then move on. She's not really into you or she might have met someone else. If she does then good.

Ideally the level of responses should be about 50/50.Meaning you both send the same amount of texts/replies. Maybe 60/40 if you are the 40. Never the other way around if you want to keep her interested.