I have been out in the field for about six months and I have experienced rejection in a way that is totally new for me, as the rejecter. I am not saying that I enjoy rejecting people or anything but it has given me some insight into my own rejection and some of the preconceived notions that were holding me back. Here are a few examples of what I mean.

• I went on a date with a girl that I met online and when she showed up she was just not as attractive as she looked in her pictures. That said she was a very nice girl with a good sense of humor and will make some guy very happy, just not me. My rejection of her is not a universal dismissal of her character and is certainly nothing personal.
• When I did reject her I tried to be as polite as I could by telling her that I thought that she probably wouldn’t like me all that much in the long run and I listed some qualities that she mentioned she did not like in a man. She did not respond as positively as I would have liked and still got pretty upset. I know what women are dealing with and why some of them refuse to give you a straight answer and just prefer to fade out and hope you get the hint.
• There is a girl that I have been messaging back and forth for a couple of weeks now. Until this morning I had not messaged her in four days. It is nothing personal, I just have been busy. Sometimes when a girl says that she has been busy she means it. People get busy; don’t read too much into it. Relax and don’t sweat the time breaks.
• Similarly, I was on the phone with a girl that I really do like last night and my phone unexpectedly died and I couldn’t charge it until this morning because I had brought my charger to work. She could invent 100 reasons why I ended the call but none of them would have been the right one. Sometimes shit just happens. Don’t take it personally.
• People can get vindictive sometimes and this is probably why women are so evasive. I went out with another girl and she just wasn’t for me. I told her that I didn’t think we would be right for each other and she kind of blew up at me over the phone saying that I was “self important,” and “kind of a jerk.” It is not fun from the other end and sometimes I don’t blame girls for being aloof.

Any other guys have any good rejection stories to add. It is really empowering to turn these around and realize that it’s not personal, you are not a loser, and it is best to keep your cool when someone is brave enough to tell you to your face that they are not into you.

Happy Trails,

Phaz

This is a good post. I often try to see things from the other person's point of view but it's impossible to truly know, even if they tell you. The best thing to do is shrug it off and plow forward. So far the first and only girl I ever asked out said yes, then two days ended the relationship because she felt she wasn't ready to be in a relationship just yet. It could be true, it could be that I was the one who made her uncomfortable, it could be that she was going to college away from home soon.

There are too many different outcomes so I stopped worrying about it awhile back.

Wise decision. to paraphrase David D. "There are three billion women on the planet why spend your time worrying about just one."