Hmm...thats a point I would disagree on. Yes its easy to say man up, sametime even given something simple people won't do it either, because their still blind & attached to a certain outcome in a preconceived way.

I dont like to associate PU with being "Alpha," (hate that word...hate it hate it hate it)

Look, lets break it down. We are all doing this to get laid, right? There are plenty of guys out there that dont get laid as often as we do and are still "Alpha," (grrr...) as hell.

I'll give you an example. One of the best men that I have ever met is my uncle Joe. He is my paternal aunt's husband. If ANYONE deserves to be called Alpha it's Joe. Dude is almost 70 and could still kick your ass. He is a legend in his hometown. My father tells stories about how respected and feared he was in the neighborhood.

When my mother was pregnant with me she was at a firehall party and she opened a window and caught some shit from some punk who said that it was letting in a draft. All Joe had to do was look at him sideways and he backed off.

Now Joe is a great father and grandfather. He treats my aunt like a queen. They have been together since they were kids and, as far as I know, she is the only woman he has ever slept with. Does this make him less "Alpha?" Fuck no!

However, there are some of us that enjoy going out there and meeting women and getting laid. Does it make us more Alpha. Again, fuck no!

So...if you are trying to say that being a man and PU are mutually exclusive, I agree completely. But, why would you come to a message board about pickup just to say that? Doesn't make much sense to me.

Yeah, thats what I mean. It is easy if you are ready to throw those preconceptions away and go for something new. But people keep holding on to whats holding them back. That is why it is so difficult.

So my point was, first people need to build up strength which they can use to break free of their habits and their comfort zone, then they can man up.

The knowledge is there, a man is awesome and impressive but people dont allow themselves to behave like that because they dont think they deserve it.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Phazzle: I was referring to Alpha, since I don't really care for having lots of sex. Just confidence and an elevated social status. I would like to have girlfriends, but not one time flings. The main reason is to have confidence and therefore inner peace, and so that I may select a wife-to-be from a larger amount of people, with an increased chance of success.

Maybe I made the mistake of associating "Alpha" with PU, though I suppose they can support each other in a way.

And the reason I posted this was to help people. I just felt this intense urge to do it and acted almost on impulse. I'm totally sick of falsehood now, and I want truth and knowledge, and that's what a lot of other people want too.

Ezo: Yeah. I'm having these bouts of difficulty. They used to be so bad that I wanted to commit suicide, even though that completely goes against my values. And then, when it's over, when I focus on my brighter future, I seem to forget that I was ever in a "low". It's better, because I've envisioned a brighter future, but I understand what you mean now. Even the best of warriors have times of great uncertainty, right?

I hope whoever is in a similar situation has the strength to keep learning and improving.

Ok, I guess it took me some time to figure out, but now I see what you mean. You just want to put yourself in the best position to find a good girlfriend/wife and pickup is a great way to achieve that result since, as you said, it increases the pool of available mates. You can just use every pickup routine up to the f-close and you'll be fine.

A few thoughts from an older man to a younger man.

Marraige is great but you might not want to put all of your focus on it. You are only 16 so go out there and just have a good time and enjoy female companionship to the extent that your morals will allow. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on being "Alpha." You are still a young man, few people know what the fuck they want out of life at that age and even if you do it is likely to change so just enjoy the ride.

If you do find someone that you love with all of your heart and you have eachother's best interests in mind you might consider sleeping with her. I'm just sayin. Of course, I dont know where in the world you are from and what the social implications of that would be but if you are in any western nation then it's really not all that taboo. Do as your conscience dictates.

Thanks for the advice.

I've already planned a few things in my life though. Not concrete stuff, but just the general future. But yeah, I see what you mean.

But I mean, what's the point of having fun now when I can have fun later? Might as well get through as much hard work as possible now so as to have a better, easier future.

This is stuff we were supposed to learn as children and teens but didn't. Maybe we did learn it, but it got "unlearned" by being punished for defending ourselves or we just got beat down and learned to "go with the flow" a little too much. In any case I think it is hard to learn this as an adult but hard doesn't mean impossible.

Steps to "Man Up" as I currently understand it

--when things are difficult or just hard to accept, you must persevere to your limit and not quit. This is called "sucking it up". Its like football players staying in the game with broken legs.

--you must have strong personal boundaries that you would let few if any people cross. This includes women. Don't be a doormat. This is the basis of interpersonal respect and nothing else. Being "nice" doesn't get you anything and it may even make you a target for bullies because they don't think you will fight back.

--you must seperate responsibility from blame, and always take responsibility for your own actions and life circumstance. Don't complain or feel bad about the stuff you cannot control and don't take any blame for that stuff either. Just face what is in front of you and don't hide.

--face your fears, push your boundaries, expand your personal experiences. Men are worldly wise and can take care of the scary stuff that others can't deal with.

--always have a goal that you came up with yourself that means something to you and work towards it. This goal must be more important than women or what other people think of you.

As far as "Alpha" goes, it isn't really a universal thing, but a situational thing. A guy could be very much the Alpha at work but when he goes to a bar he can't even get a phone number.

Alpha in terms of human dating means the guy that the women PERCEIVE at that moment to be the top dog. Sometimes this can even be bought to a certain extent, it depends on the venue and the type of women there.