What is an alpha male? It is THE ultimate life form. You are carefree, life is a party and you soul punch every negative thing that comes along your way. No-one or thing can get you on your knees. You are proud, you love yourself 100 percent. Nothing can define you. You soar with the eagles.

But.. by being so, don’t you turn into a robot? I try to approach life logically. Every weak emotion I feel, I will analyze it.

If you are a true PUA, then you will find a way to analyze every feeling you have; because every negative feeling is something that tells you that you are weak.

For instance: A true PUA will never be angry, because he accepts things that are, he doesn’t feel the need to get angry, because he is in control, he anticipates on life.

If people tell a PUA that he is a low life, a bastard, a creep, a moron; then they don’t need to defend their own self-worth; he just doesn’t respond, because he does not care.

Downside:

People tell me to stand up for myself. I tell them that I don’t care what people tell me, because why should I react to people that try to put me down? I am the strong silent type.

In my past relationship, my GF would raise her voice, but I told her that I don’t accept behavior like that. Grow up and have good communication, or get the hell out. People state that it’s healthy to have arguments during relationships?

And the main reason; people think I become a cold hearted SOAB made out of stone. In a way they are right, because I live life by analyzing everything scientifically. Your emotions go down a notch.

What do you guys think? What am I doing wrong?

If you are a true PUA you dont have to be afraid of having feelings. Plus you dont have to show how strong you are all the time.

Im afraid you confuse a true PUA with a PUA wannabe who thinks that he is a PUA...
Oh forgot... Ehm no thats not true. If people tell a TRUE PUA that he is a low life, a bastard, a creep, a moron; then he doesnt need to defend himself because he is strong enough to take it. In facct he is a well balanced human being so he listens to the criticism and take it into consideration. He is open to the possibility that they are correct and if they are he welcomes the chance to improve himself. Otherwise if they are wrong he doesnt care.

My honest non threatening advice to you is that you should stop listening to those PUA mantras like Im the king of the world. They all very selfcentered in nature and meant to bring you up from being a lowlife with a low self confidence to being a lowlife with an attitude problem and a bit higher self confidence. From there the real progress starts.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

'If you are a true PUA you dont have to be afraid of having feelings.'

But that's also pretending something you are not? Sounds to me like an easy way out without facing the real problem.

So what you are basically saying is; accept your weakness.

Im into buddhism the past months. I try to accept everything that is. But I am trying to cope with feelings like anger and sadness. I don't know how to channel this the right way.

A PUA is humble and not consumed by his ego.
Basically, he's not what you just described.

A true pua is indeed humble, because he doesn't need validation from others. He loves himself; he believes in the things he is and does; carefree.

He accepts life and knows he can't change it. He goes with the flow.

I am not describing an ego here?

If that is the case, non of that would apply...


Weak emotion? There is no such thing...further theres "logic" then "Logic", logic= x,y,z. Logic= I don't need to analyse anything, but observe and see what comes.


No such thing as a weak emotion....Further I would not personally denote negative as weak either, nor would I say analyze your feelings- observing thats different.


Correct and totally wrong. 1st, take the notion of "true" away, there is no such thing as "true" especially in the context your using. 2nd; true accept the way things are, it doesn't mean suppress though which is what your implying. 3rd, your never in control and you are: its a partnership- you may not get angry @ certain things, you may get amused however if something arises again, it happens- and its natural- stop suppressing. After you can be calm.
True and wrong, this quote answers everything your trying to covey yet adds things your missing. "Theres a time in your life where you can't move forward, can't go backwards, & can't stand where you are, what do you do?" (moving to the sides doesn't count)
To say you don't care means you do, further- its one thing to say I shouldn't react, sametime its another to react and stay grounded. As an aside...why people think not reacting is not good is BS, it generally means to most ppl shut off your emotions. Reality doing that makes you dead. Just don't take things personally. Same thing, different intention. 2nd your NOT a strong silent type, you think you are, meaning your probably disconnecting alot to with people.
Yes and no. You don't accept that behavior great-same time who really needs to grow up & have good communication? For you to even say that means you don't accept her & want to change her FOR YOUR convenience. Question here lies is: Are you doing it in her best interest or yours? Seems like its yours. Which ain't cool. Again, this doesn't mean be a doormat.
And from that, your missing over half your life. Some things don't need to be "analyzed", some things just need to be. Moderation.
^ Above...get out of your head, stop judging, start accepting (people and your emotions), stop trying to control everything, start being OK not being in control, be present.

An ego is when you wholeheartily believe that everyone else is actually below you
Which is not what being humble is.

Well thats the secret isnt it.

Pretending that you are something that you are not is the thing that PUA wannabes do. It is not an easy way out. Because the TRUE PUA as you call him is not pretending to be saomething that he is not. He strives to become what he is not, yet. Once he reaces that level, he no longer have to pretend anything. Making an improvement to your own ego is indeed facing the real problem!

Ezo

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Don't alpha males put those who put him down, in their place? Will a girl really stay with you if she sees you being put down by haters? Or will she admire you for standing up for yourself, proving them wrong and making them less than you? She wants a guy who will look after her and protect her, not back down when someone calls him a name...

I'm not saying get into a fight but if someone is having a go at you then ask them what their problem is, get angry and question why they have to ruin everyone's fun by bringing up petty shit. Isn't the PUA game about raising your social status? People who are having fun will hate someone who ruins that fun for everyone and will more than likely side with you and you come out on top.

Showing emotion is good isn't, that way women won't think you are a robot? As long as you're in control of that emotion and don't hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it or become a whiney little bitch about shit.

I could be wrong, I'm new to this PUA stuff so help me improve myself

Thanks guys for the replys.

It seems I am learning a bunch of stuff the wrong way. I really try to better myself. Everyone goes through the wannabe PUA state, that’s normal. I am still working my butt off to not need validation from others and just accept myself. I try to figure myself out and how I need to approach life. I still have a load to learn.

‘Truly love yourself for who you are and what you do without being defined by others behavior. Your mind is your worst nightmare. Conquer it. You are what you think you are and you will be what you want to be. Accept life and don’t peddle against the stream’

It’s hard to incorporate the above statement.

I can’t stay out of my head, because I need to better myself the right way. I am still grieving over my past relationship and I still get angry because of it. So the main reason is to get over it with the right amount of thinking. Feeling this way tells me that I put myself under my ex; inferior.

And yes, concerning these feelings I consider it as a weakness. I accept it, it’s ok and normal, but I need to move on. If I would love myself enough, I would not let her define me like this. You could also call ‘weakness’ a moment of introspection and learning.

Hey Nos!

Dont worry, you are off to a good start. I am not bashing you to make you feel bad but I am trying to warn you to not make the same mistakes I did when I started out.

The concept of pushing yourself forward and winning all fights and smiting everyone who has ever wronged you is an appealing idea to a lot of guys who have been underdogs for their entire life. Thats why those mantras are so often repeated here.

But try to see it this way. Dont be the underdog fighting for the leadership position, dont be the top dog. Be the owner of the dogs. Does the owner care which one of the dogs eat first? No, the top dog does but his position is fragile. To my knowledge no dog has ever taken the position of the human owning him...
Thats not a Nos quote but I felt it ok to reply anyway. Your question can be answered like this. No, you dont put people in their place unless they actually affect you. Are they threatening your role as an attractive guy? If yes, take the fight, if no, ignore and be superior.
Do I care if a dog barks at me? Do I bark back? No, thats the same thing. It doesnt matter. A guy who has to put everyone in their place is indeed weak. He is trying to prove that he is tougher than he is. A better way to improve is to build your inner game up so that you can safely say that those guys are beneath you, and be right about it.

Plus sometimes, guys calling you an idiot may be right and then you shouldnt attack them for it but consider it and better yourself.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

You will never reach perfection because you are human. Better accept that.

On the other hand, being a PUA doesn't mean losing emotions. Just like courage doesn't mean you have no fears. All courage means is that you do not let your fears control you.

As a PUA, you do not let your emotions control but you still have them.

Also, not caring is good to a point but at some point you need to let others know that they can't say whatever they want to you.

When someone clearly insults me, all I do is stare them down for about 5 secs with the look of death and then turn away. 95% of the time, that is the last time they ever say anything insulting about me.

If they persist, I use my wit to put them in their place and I've never had anyone push past that point.

Try it out. To me it's natural but it might take you some getting used to.

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Don't think you are, know you are.

ezo is right

imageine this, you are Conan the Barbarian and you have just been taken prisoner. you must walk a gauntlet of enemy soldiers who taunt you and spit at you. How do you feel ? The way you feel determines if you "have it in you". The only acceptable emotion would be anger at the spitting, but even that you would not show, because you control your emotions and do not show reactions to your enemies which would strengthen them.

If you have a good father, play a lot of contact sports as a kid, or just don't get bullied or rejected too much, you will naturally have this "stuff" in you. That is what a "natural" is. Many of us are not so fortunate and must learn on our own. Part is learning the way its supposed to be, part is having experiences that exercize these emotional "muscles". Over time, you learn not to react blindly, or be tricked into trouble. You also learn when to go on offense, which for most is the hardest part when all your life you have been on the defensive.

a PUA talks to women till he finds one that is DTF.

a narcissist is pretentious about such a simple act as this