This is my first field report, so please let me know if I can do anything better. First of all, I believe that some of you will find it way too long. I don't know if length is appreciated or not, so tell me and I'll try to adjust accordingly in future posts. Second, English is not my first language, so bear with language errors, please.
Anyways, the background to this story is that my brother had been visiting me in the city where I've been living a semi-student life (or semi student-life, whichever, really) for the past nine years. There are tons of student organizations and many of them have student bars.
This happened on Sunday, two days ago.
1.
Dressed really casually, carrying only a small amount of money, I followed my brother to the train station to wave him off when he left town. However, we just missed his train, so we had an hour to kill. After getting some coffee we sat down in the park just outside the train station. On a distance I saw a HB7 who seemed vaguely familiar. She was dragging a huge light neon-green roller bag with her and stopped at the local-bus station. I decided to try an approach. This was one of my very first daylight approaches.
She was sitting on a low stone wall, facing away from me and with her bag on her left hand side. I stepped over the wall and approached her from her left just dropping the name of a student bar which I thought I might recognize her from (I've been working at quite a few of them).
Me: [Student bar]?
HBBag: No (smiling).
Me: [Another student bar]?
HBBag: No.
Me: Any student bar?
HBBag: No, I don't go to any student bars. (still smiling)
Me: [Name of company where I work]?
HBBag: No, but I work just across.
Me: Oh, yeah, you're that girl at [company name], right? (Sit down next to her, though on the bag-side of her, which may have been a mistake)
Then some talk about what the heck they do at her company anyway, and then I changed the subject to discussing her huge neon bag.
Me: I like your bag, it, hrm.. stands out. (little bit of a neg, I suppose) Where have you been?
HBBag: [Country].
Me: Oh, thats interesting (blah blah) for how long?
HBBag: 4 days.
Me: That's a really huge bag for 4 days, I thought you had just moved out of your appartment over there or something. (lift it up with my hand to feel the weight) Hey! It's almost empty, what did you need all that room for?
(Random nagging about her bag, change of subject to her trip, what se's been doing there, "oh, that's interesting, have done pretty similar things back home, funnu story: Blah blah" et cetera).
When conversation showed a small sign of going dry, I said "well, I'm gonna be heading back to my brother over there, really nice to meet you. I'll see you at work". I didn't bother to #-close as I think I'm gonna see her at work (we eat lunch at the same place).
2.
I was planning to walk the way back home after dropping my brother off, but on my way I passed by one of the student bars which had a nice outdoors bar packed with people watching the soccer WC finals between Spain and Holland. I decided to go in there to watch the game and maybe practice my game a bit. Headed in for a beer, which was really cheap. I positioned myself by the bar where I had a good view of both the screen and all of the people. Unfortunately all the HBs where quite far away and unaccessible in the narrow spaces between the crowded tables. I decided to wait for half time. Meanwhile I focused on befriending the guys next to me, mainly for the fun of it. Also had a non results-oriented conversation with a cute girl who was clearly there with her BF.
In half time, I went for a beer in a bar which was located in the back, and I noticed that one of the HBs I had previously noticed was now sitting alone. She was sitting on the far end of a bench, with a not-so-good diagonal view of the screen, and I figured her friend was off buying drinks.
She was the sophisticated, interesting kind of HB. Nice eyes, quite nice body, but her beauty mostly consisted of that famous "something" which is so hard to pin point. I walked up from behind and stayed on her right hand side (she was sitting on the right hand side of the bench). I realized I hadn't prepared an opener, so i just used a lame random one:
Me: You're Elin (a girl's name), right?
HBSoccer: No.
Me: Oh, you look just like a girl I used to work with in [another student bar], maybe I'm just getting your name wrong? I'm terrible with names.
HBSoccer: No, my name is [name], and I haven't worked there.
Me: Ok, so what DO you work with?
She tells me that she works as a researcher at the university (at which point I kneel down in the grass beside her), and I ask her some things about that, what kind of field, how is that, and so on. Also I try to show an understanding for her field by asking relevant questions, mixing in some of my own experiences with things within her field and so on. Quite quickly, I realize that this girl loves to talk. She does it all the time, she doesn't seem to be listening too much to what I say and she goes on and on about her interests. Quite an unattractive attribute, actually. But I still wanna win this.
After a while her friend arrives with drinks, and we are introduced. She is also a researcher in another field. This one is also quite attractive. Physically she may not have been AS attractive, but socially she definitely was better. (I'll call her HBFriend) I had a hard time figuring out which one to go for. The discussion went on to the game as it commenced for the second period. I talked about how I was rooting for Holland when I first came there, because of how nice the people there are there and the warm SPAM in any bar with many Dutch people when they play a game, but how I then started to drift towards rooting for Spain when they played a magical and aggressive football for a few minutes.
At some point, a guy walked up to a friend of his and parked himself standing up in front of us, obstructing the view. After a few seconds, I stood up, put a chair beside him and told him that he was welcome to sit down if he liked to. Of course with a friendly smile. When I came back to the girls, HBFriend said "I really respect a guy who does what you just did instead of just grunting quietly to himself". DHV.
For a while the two girls turn to each other to discuss their work, only including me as a listener. I'm struggling to find ways to get into the discussion with interesting anecdotes, but can't find any relevant things to say for a while. Since HBSoccer is such a talker and keeps interrupting, it's really hard to get any kind of game going. I feel like I'm losing, but won't give up. A window of opportunity presents itself when HBSoccer leaves to buy drinks. I get a moment one on wone with HB friend and can steer the conversation in another direction, where I can get more involved. It works, so when HBSoccer comes back, I have a place in the conversation again. However, gaming is still really hard.
After the soccer game is finished, people start dropping off. After a while, HBFriend says she's about to leave. "Yeah, I should go home quite soon, as well", I say, but I stay in my seat (oh yeah, at some point I transitioned from my kneeling position to sitting beside HBFriend) while she stands up. As the girls get involved in a goodbye-conversation, I start to realize that HBSoccer is probably intending to stay with me for a while. IOI.
Conversation goes on, still with the same troubles of getting any kind of game in. I fill the gap between us which opened up after HBFriend left by moving in towards her and let my leg touch hers, but appart from that I don't really get any kind of kino in. The place really starts to empty out of people, but there are a few left and the bar is still open. I suggest having another beer, mainly to get us moving (maybe giving some kino opportunities) and to make a light scene change. A light touch on her shoulder as we walk towards the bar. Grabbing into my pocket for money, I realize I don't have any and I didn't bring my card. Oops. I let her order first, then, as she walks to grab a table, I just order water. I tell her how I just made a fool of myself by not realizing I had no money, she says "unfortunately I don't have any more either", to which i respond "I wasn't gonna ask".
We sit down, and keep discussing. We're STILL talking about her and her job, but I manage to get past that subject by asking something about her background, and from that sneak something in about my background, which is quite the opposite from hers. All of a sudden, she's listening, and I take the opportunity to the fullest to do some DHV stuff of the sensitive-and-experienced-guy kind. However, we're pretty soon back to her doing most of the talking.
When it comes to kino, I'm pretty good at escalating using opportunities when she says something that I believe she thinks I'll find interesting. For example, when she says something that's meant to impress me, I reward her with a touch of the shoulder. However, with this girl, there was nothing more interesting than the rest, just a constant level of talking about her work, which was pretty interesting in itself, but I just couldn't find any opportunities. However, our legs kept touching, we got an occasionally good eye contact and we where sitting pretty close. I touched her shoulder as I stood up to get more water at the bar, but that was pretty much it.
After a while I suggested that we'd leave the bar, as it started to get really empty and I wanted another scene change. She got her bike which she led while walking beside me. Apparently, she lived on the south-west side of town (I live on the North-west side), but she walked with me when I started just slowly walking the way that I'd normally go. It could be a detour on her way home, or it could be that she was actually following me. Still, I couldn't find any good kino opportunities, but I brushed against her as we walked pretty close.
When we came to a place where she had to choose between parting from me or actually following me home, she stopped as for the inevitable goodbye. She stood holding her bike and we kept talking for a while. I thought that the fact that she had to hold the bike made it an obstacle, so i gently grabbed the handlebar and pulled it forwards as I walked up to a stone wall which I leaned back against. She parked her bike and I hoped she'd come close so I could grab her hips and pull her towards me, but she just followed me halfway, so now we where actually further away from each other.
After some more talking, she said it was time for her to go home, and came in for a hug. I hugged her and said "well, I'm also gonna take your number. Or actually, you're gonna type it in for me" and I handed her the phone. She gave me her number and we said goodbye.
She had told me that on monday (or maybe it was tuesday), which means yesterday or maybe today, she was gonna deliver a 10 minute speech on an international conference on a subject related to her research. She was worried that, since the attendants of the conference where not strictly in her field, she would waste too much of her time laying out the ground work and not getting to the point. Just now, I sent her this text:
"Hi, how's it going? How did the conference go? Did you manage to get anything interesting said, or did it end up as a [Research field] for dummies?
Mungo"
This one was a real hard practice, as I wasn't comfortable in my game at any stage.
3.
On my way back home, I found a pack of cigarettes on the ground. Lucky me, but I was missing a lighter. When I saw two possibly hot babes walking down the road I approached them to ask for a light. They actually stayed to ask me if I had been watching the game, and we struck up a conversation about the game. One of them was really hot, but both looked a little young (tho not underage). I asked where they had been (at the less attractive one's place) but unfortunately I didn't ask where they where heading. I think that piece of information could have been useful for calibration. I asked if they where students, and when they said yes, I said "You should really have watched the game where I was, it was great" and told them as artfully as I could about the SPAM.
However, when I started to run out of ideas for talking materials, I chickened out for some reason. I just said "Well, I'm heading home to sleep, it was really nice to meet you two". I think they looked a little surprised, possibly disappointed, but I still didn't even attempt to close. I instantly got quite mad at myself as I walked away.
Wtf why??
4.
When I came home, it was way too late to go to sleep. I was gonna have to get up at 5:30 in the morning, and it was already 2. If I go to sleep that late, I won't get up in time, so I decided to stay up. I started surfing the Internet and writing this FR, but at 3, my phone rang. It was a girl that I've been dating for a month and with whom I'm actually quite serious. I thought I was gonna get lucky, but when I answered, I could hear that she'd been crying. "Please, come here", she said and I realized that this was not the time to argue, so i complied.
The thing is this: This girl has been through a lot of though shit since the age of 17 (she's 20 now). Her life has been pretty fucked up for the last 3.5 years, and she has a lot of work to do with herself. Sometimes she gets really low, sad or anxious.
Now, when I reached the door to her block of flats, a car pulled over and two women got out and walked towards the same door. I let them in. I couldn't tell what the logo on the car was, but it seemed to be some medical or care thing. They got into the elevator with me, pressed the same button as I did, and one of them put a pair of rubber gloves on. Worrying that my date may have done something bad to herself, I nervously asked them "are we going to the same place?". "I don't know", one of them said as the elevator stopped. I opened the door, and saw my date in the hallway of her apartment, waiting for me/us with her door open. She was wearing underwear and a t-shirt and looked a bit pale and shaky. I quickly stepped in and hugged her, and to my release I saw the two others walking towards another apartment. My date was just sad, nothing worse than that.
She started undressing me immediately. I wasn't really comfortable with the idea of maybe taking advantage of her current state, so I was just gonna ask her "are you sure you wanna do this, we could just go to sleep, you know". But before I had the chance, she said "let's just sleep" and went ahead into bed.
Having her beside me, I felt comfortable sleeping for 2 hours without having to fear not being able to wake up. So at least i got some sleep before work. My shift is 12 hours. It was a long day..
...and this was a long FR. My first one, so feel free to flame away!
CHAT