| Hey man. I am from Pittsburgh so I dont know if I should be giving you advice but in the spirit of PUA brotherhood I will make an exception, at least you have the good taste not to be from Cleveland.
Anyway, I like your profile. It seems very casual and laid back, not like you put too much time into it (though I am sure you did). You might want to consider lengthening certain sections. Just look at Misok's Self summary. It is fun to read and each paragraph is a DHV, usually with a joke mixed in.It needs to be a compelling story.
I agree that you need to have something in the Job section. If you are unemployed just put student. We are all students of the world here right? I, personally, am a fan of putting something in for your income. If you have no income then just pick the lowest amount. I mean you have to survive somehow. No job no income is a DLV and it is better to have some job and some income even if it is modest.
The "first thing people notice," section is one of the most powerful opportunities to DHV. Do you have something more unconventional than "smile a lot?" That's not bad but try and find something that few, if any, people are using or something funny. For instance, mine is "My speaking voice," and I reference that I am a salesman who is going into broadcasting. I feel that it subconsciously gets her eager to hear my voice and as a result I end up getting a bunch of girls on the phone (MSG to date ratio is about 15%).
I love your "Most private thing," it is an opportunity to make yourself look sensitive despite your rough manly exterior. Mine is "I cried when bambi's mother died," chicks eat that like tic tacs.
Finally, consider something more general for the "you should message me..." Specifically saying that you are looking for girls makes you look predatory. If you say something like "You are a stimulating, intelligent person...no bubbleheads," you appear more selective and social.
Hope this helps. Have a ball!
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