Hi all,
I'm a new poster here, just spent a lot of time reading PUA artist stuff and have learned a lot from you guys.

Important bit about me- I couldn't give a damn what my "number" is. It's 7, which is pretty normal among all my friends (at 22). I know I've had more sex with those 7 than someone who's had 100 one-night stands, so a number is irrelevant for me. Also worth noting that I'm good looking to a point where whenever girls meet me they expect me to be a heartbreaker, a player etc. They're all surprised that I've not been massively promiscuous (in honesty I prefer LTR's so I can get laid far more often, and without having to spend time sarging cause I'd prefer to be doing my own hobbies)

But- can anyone explain a trend I've noticed with girls? Nearly every girl I've even got talking to (so more than I ended up getting with!) has told me exactly the same story about their past..

- They've all had their 'slut phase', fucked just about every guy at their school/college/uni, then started thinking about relationships.
- They all say they lost their virginity at 14.
- They nearly all say they'e been raped at some point.

Right, now for a start it's not a 'type' that I've noticed. I've been with a variety of 'types', and also noticed my friends hearing the same shit.

I've also had a couple of these girls come clean and tell me it's not actually true... One of which was my first. I didnt tell her she was the only girl I'd slept with until about a year into the relationship- and EVEN then she revised her number to 8 for months before admitting it was actually just 2.

Most other cases I don't believe it either- currently i'm with a girl I would have fucked 3 years ago when she was 17, but i was put off when she said her mum wouldn't have let her stay around a guys house without knowing him. And even then (!) she now tries giving me the impression she's spent the ages between 14 and 19 swallowing every drop of semen she could find.

Ok, now I don't actually care about a girls past, if it's in the past. If theyve been sluts and now reformed, I'd just expect a bit of decorum in not trying to brag to me about it. The way girls all tell me the same stories, in the same way, they clearly want me to notice these "facts" about their past.

So here's the question. WHY?! Here's what I'm guessing but it really doesn't make that much sense....

1- Modern culture lets people think that everyone but them has got with hundreds of people so anything less than that is prudish and inexperienced.
2- Girls always feel like their lives are boring, and get "dramatic" confused with "interesting". Maybe they think that having had a past like a bad soap opera will somehow make me interested?
3- It seems horribly fashionable to try and make out like you've had the toughest upbringing ever. Everyone seems to want to have grown up in an impoverished ghetto being raped and shot on a daily basis. F*** knows why, I grew up middle class and happy.
4- Do they think I'm the kind of guy who just wants girls who put out a lot?

and the big one- Is it a control/insecurity game? Whether they know my number or not, do they just assume I'm a player and not want to be 'beaten' themselves? Is it meant to show that they have countless other options just to keep me on my toes?

It never works.
It can only make me think worse of them, never better.
But most of all, it's really getting to me now. Especially the rape stories- if it's true they wouldn't want to all tell me about it within the first week of talking.

So is it me somehow making women feel that they need to compete with what they expect from me?
Or is it a cultural thing- are girls as bad as guys nowadays for using bedpost notches as a measure of a persons worth?

As i point out every time, it's sad and insecure when guys brag numbers, but at least they have to make an effort. When girls do it it just measures how often they don't say no. Sorry that was long, it's just a real sticking point for me.

Maybe you set up a frame "number"=value.
Because,the way i see it,even if they've had their "slut phase" and the others,they shouldn't be telling you about it.Not the way they do anyway.

I dont think it has anything to do with your frame or anything like that. Theres something about most girls these days makes them feel the need to express to you that they arent prude. But what they dont realize is that the last thing u want to hear is how she blew some guy or fucked him or whatever. If you told her those same things about past girls shed have u labeled as a player and potential cheater but for them its somehow justified. My best advice would be to just tell them straight up that you dont want to hear about their past unless it affects who they are now. best of luck man

QFT

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

Hi David, I read your post and it was as though I could have written it myself! Only because I have noticed the exact same patterns come up time and time again with women and the stories they choose to share with me.

I am a good looking guy too but have never been a natural ladies man or anything, in fact I still find myself very nervous around women if I'm honest (Something I'm about to change once and for all!).

I don't know why they choose to share these stories with us because I too find it all a major turn off, I do NOT want to hear all about her sexual past when we don't really know each other that well or how they confess to me how they got raped... A lot of the time the girls would even tell me who it was who tried to rape them or finger them in their sleep (true story? She weren't sure either) and I swear it was to try and make me angry or something.

My thinking is that perhaps these stories are a kind of shit test they throw out, so they can gauge our responses... and see how we react to the idea of them being raped and/or their slutty past.

Maybe they expect us to say next "Oh don't worry Ive slept with loads of women, its cool you were/are a slut!", or maybe they want to see if we are relationship material, and they want us to say "Oh sweetheart don't worry, you were all deranged and confused back then it doesn't matter any more! Forget the past princess it's just you and me now, everyone has their slutty playing the field phase"...

To be honest mate, I can only speculate, and verify that these patterns do in fact exist because I have noticed them myself too. Another thing I noticed is, I mainly hear these stories from girls who want a relationship with me or who I am in love with, if it's just a casual thing then I don't hear stuff like this so often..

The other story i have heard, and this includes one girl who i had a one night stand with and I dont know why they feel they have to tell me this, is the story of the Ex-BF who used to basically beat the crap out of them, or that they hit them or poured bleach in their hair (in one case)...

I can't say whether these stories are true or false, exaggerated or not because I don't know. What I really would rather know is why do they feel I should hear this stuff??

My conclusion is that it must be doing 2 things at once:

1) Gauging whether we are BF material. ie, can tend to their feelings, be understanding, forgiving?

2) A shit test, or a test of our value. ie how will we react to this news? Will we get mad and lose our cool? Will we not care? Our we the cold hearted player us good looking guys may be stereotyped to be?

I am open for any suggestions and help as this "conclusion" is really just my opinion! Wonder what u make of this Dave? Would be good to hear back.

PS to anyone else reading, I know gaming isn't all about looks and in my experience looks makes no difference as to who gets laid most, it's down to skill, be it natural or learned!

Peace

_________________
"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.”

Girls do this to test the waters. To see if you are relationship material, and for you to see them as relationship

Side note: If they are lying, then they are trying to prove something I.E DHV themselves like a lot of people on here. So, if they think you don't like sluts, some will keep the number low. (Insecure) If they give you a high number, it's a shit test. However, you wont know if they are lying till later on.

If they are honest, they just want to be open and it's just to get to know you, and for you to get to know her. Test the waters.

Thinking about it more, I remembered how quite a few girls have told me they think I'm out of their league... It's hard to think that way cause I'm not *genuinely* arrogant (though an absolute god at c/f behaviour), but maybe if I'm actually the best they've ever had then they'd be reluctant to let me know that.

I guess if we'd spent all our lives getting with average 5's, then somehow lucked out getting a 9, you wouldn't want them to realise you've never done this well for yourself before. From the snippets I've seen of these girls pasts, I feel confident I probably am the best.

So I'm starting to think it's just a very clumsy attempt to DHV, to imply that at various times in their past they've been with better guys than me.

It's kind of brought on myself, I generally prefer 6-7 girls than aiming for the perfect 10 just cause I can't be fucked with all the "game". I should probably appreciate the fact that these girls have terrible game and fail to manipulate me with it...

I'm thinking it's probably a mix of misjudged game, insecurity, and a fucked up culture that encourages everyone to sleep around before settling down- so everyone that hasn't slept around feels like they should have done.

My gf is often bragging about how many guys who have been trying to flirt with her..

My gf is often bragging about how many guys who have been trying to flirt with her..

Trying to make you jealous. Just laugh and tell her it's cute that she is trying to make you jealous.

I think that if a guy had more women his value is bigger.
For a girl it is the opposite. The more guys she had the easier was to get her, and her value is lower in her bf eyes.

If I think about me, I never was a player, but now that I got a gf she told me about her past relationships. I didn't like to hear these, but I asked her more details. And it hurts me to know this...why? Maybe beacause:
1. I feel like being there when I imagine her past.
2. I know that I wasn't a player and I wasted a part of my life

So if a girl talks about her past, and her past is full of sex it will only lower her value in my eyes.

My gf past isn't so full of sex, sex only with 1 boy(a LTR for 4 years), 3 LTR(without sex's,a few months), and about 3 kisses(she accepted them at age 13, 14, thinking that will result a LTR). But I still don't like this. I want to know that I am the best, the special one.

Iv'e found the same thing must be a UK thing? LoL!
Though I think as we get older that will change..

I have foreseen this problem (im only 19) so im gonna spend the next few years sleeping around lol. You know its never too late..