| If you really want to stop hating her, then you can stop with a simple decision. Every time you think of her, find a new thought, choose not to go down that emotional path. It's a matter of: Don't try to change. Simply change. "No, i will not give that habit of mind any more fuel. Let it wither and die."
If deep down you don't want to let go of your hate, nothing will change, because you'll try and you'll try but you'll never let go, not until you want to.
Think about how your hatred makes you feel, think about how it's lowering the quality of your life and sapping your happiness, and maybe you'll feel that you deep down want to let go of your hate. Then it will be easy, you just stop fueling the mental pattern and it goes into hibernation within a few days, it'll keep asking your higher brain for "fuel" - that is to say, attention - throughout the next few years, with decreasing frequency, but every time it does you just make an executive decision "no, I will not give you the fuel you're seeking. I don't like the way you make me feel and it isn't in my interest to give you any CPU time."
But you cannot stop the feeling by trying harder, or some shit like that. To quote Yoda: "Do, or do not. There is no try."
What worries me is this. You have attitudes that have caused you to develop all this hate. And they'll rear their ugly heads again, in the future, again and again, they're not going to go away by themselves. I know you think SHE caused all this hate, but in reality you have caused it, your attitudes. You believe that you have every right to hate her, and that's what worries me. The same attitudes that nurtured this hated are going to keep on blowing shit up in your life.
Assuming you don't have any diagnosed psychological problems, I suggest you do the Landmark Forum followed by the next two courses. It'll blow open your reality, twenty years from now, your life is going to look much brighter in the future where you chose to do Landmark. For instance, it helped me sort out some attitudes about lying to people and needing people's approval. So I definitely recommend shelling out a few thousand dollars on Landmark Education.
Note i'm not affiliated with Landmark in any way, I just got a lot of value out of their courses.
|