the bottom part was everything i did wrong! wish i woulda read this before. The thing was we lived so far apart and i figured the more we were together we wouldnt drift away. all time was towards her. ball and chain to the leg man.. dont get caught up in it, that'll push em away
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Tips on keeping the girl? Having a healthy relationship? Dos/Donts?
good question and most people ask it, however it can be messy if you apply to a set of rules.
Some rules don't apply in some relationships because every relationship is different - both 2 persons are different.
some dos could turn out bad and some donts could turn out well , it's a total paradox, You can only decide who you are and only your rules can be applied to the relationship.
Social conditioning.... Dr.Phil ( he's good guy tho ) often come up with these rules about relationship HOWEVER dr.phil is conditioning/manipulating these people to believe in these values. The couples are at his show because they have problems and phil make them believe certain values + social pressure of being on television only adds to this manipulation ( he has good intentions tho ). Some of dr.phils values also utterly destroyed some relationships.
If the dude lived up to these values but his girl didn't then it won't help anyway because one is investing more ( giving more ) than the other.
no one can teach you how to treat relationships, it's like swimming - you have to drown a few times before you can swim. Every relationship has a different swimming pool ; some with warm water, some with cold , some are stratched out, some doesn't even contain water. Be flexible and be like water - don't resist it. someone who only experienced swimming in warm water will recommend the same values/rules to someone who will swim in cold water. in warm water you can stay in for a long time - cold water ( or freezing) you cannot , some guys even swim in pools without water.
My personal rules : balance ... balance in everything - when balance gets interrupted everything turns corrupted. Naure was balanced for the last million of years ( ecosystem) even the predator on the top has a treath ; disease. thus everything is balanced. According to my opnion the concept of balanced Ecosystems ( balance of nature ) is one of the most succesfull concepts ever - nature existed for millions of years and never failed ( in balance).
It's like the eastern philosophy ''ying-yang''.
you shouldn't be investing more than your GF
so at number 1. : balance or at least trying to get balance.
my next personal favorite rule : Keep developing yourself, Your GF loves YOU and with you i mean YOU. So you have to keep investing in yourself because the best gift you can give to your GF is a Boyfriend who is in touch with himself. A BF who is the ruler of his own life.
buddhist concepts are good sources to get some understanding about this, but the
RSD blueprint decoded also lay the emphasis on these concepts.
One value which you should apply to this rule is
Looking at yourself first, when you read a book don't look how it could be applied into a relationship but first look how you should apply it on yourself.
Delusions :
some guys only have a 2 months relationship but act like they have a serious relationship. This is ok as long your GF thinks the same - but often this is not the case. Thus you are investing more, giving yourself up in the process and giving up balance.
Treat the relationship like it's expandable until you reach month 4 or month 6, this doesn't mean you should be picking up other girls and treat your GF like shit.
1. balance
2. keep developing yourself(inner game), you are the most important person in the relationship.
3. keep expectations down, don't expect anything
peace
CHAT
